• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

HOCD (DONT KNOW WHERE TO POST THIS)

J

JS0406

Member
Joined
Nov 26, 2019
Messages
6
Location
UK
Hi, I’ve been suffering with HOCD for two months now and it’s made my life a living hell, I feel like I can’t love anyone anymore and I’ll never be the same person. It was my dream to fall in love with a girl and have a family and grow old with a girl, but I’ve lost all hope in everything in life.
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
44,657
Location
Lancashire
Hiya and :welcome: to the forum. You say you have started suffering like this two months ago. Did something trigger this off because it sounds like something started all this happening? Were you OK before this? I think its a sign of how seriously stressed you are that you believe that you will never have any chance of being with a girl.

I would suggest you see a doctor soon and see if you can get some help. I think that a good therapy which is tailor made for OCD is also a necessity. Unfortunately, you often have to pay privately for that and you might find it a bit expensive. But its a good way to go if you can afford it.
 
P

polarbear

Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
22
Location
Tyne & Wear
Sounds like it's consuming you. I hope you find a way through it that works for you.
 
J

JS0406

Member
Joined
Nov 26, 2019
Messages
6
Location
UK
I’ve just finished a temporary work placement, so can’t really afford anything just now and just going to wait until next
Hiya and :welcome: to the forum. You say you have started suffering like this two months ago. Did something trigger this off because it sounds like something started all this happening? Were you OK before this? I think its a sign of how seriously stressed you are that you believe that you will never have any chance of being with a girl.

I would suggest you see a doctor soon and see if you can get some help. I think that a good therapy which is tailor made for OCD is also a necessity. Unfortunately, you often have to pay privately for that and you might find it a bit expensive. But its a good way to go if you can afford it.
I was alright before this I don’t actually know what triggered it which annoys me the most, I’ve finished a temporary work placement so don’t really have the money just now (just might as well take a break for the rest of the year) I was fine for a week and then it hit me, again I don’t know what the trigger was. It’s gotten so bad that I can’t watch tv and just want to sleep all the time. I try to keep busy around the house but it just drains my energy constantly analysing and questioning myself.
 
J

JS0406

Member
Joined
Nov 26, 2019
Messages
6
Location
UK
Sounds like it's consuming you. I hope you find a way through it that works for you.
Yeah it drains all my energy constantly checking if I’m still attracted to girls. I go to sleep hoping that they’ll be gone but it’s like they’re waiting for me in the morning.
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
44,657
Location
Lancashire
What form does the OCD take? What are you doing constantly?
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
44,657
Location
Lancashire
I think you need some therapy of some sort. Have you been able to look for any? The doc can arrange it if you go and see him. Its a waiting list though.
 
J

JS0406

Member
Joined
Nov 26, 2019
Messages
6
Location
UK
I think you need some therapy of some sort. Have you been able to look for any? The doc can arrange it if you go and see him. Its a waiting list though.
I know, well I need something anyway.
 
fazza

fazza

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2014
Messages
1,856
Location
U.K
Have you though about not being bothered about it?
Most of the time with OCD it becomes almost self fueling.

I will give you an example.
A few years ago I was convinced I had HIV. There was no chance that I actually had it but everything became HIV related. I couldn't go for a test as this would give me HIV. Then I had to pray 20 times in a certain pattern so that I wouldn't have HIV. Then certain adverts on TV had to be avoided because if I watched them I would get a diagnosis of HIV.

So I avoided everything but seeing as OCD has a habit of sneaking in to all of our thought processes it found more and more things of reminding me that if I do this or that wrong I will get HIV.

Enough was enough.
I began to train my thoughts with a (So What) attitude. I began to remember that HIV isn't a life sentence anymore and that although terrible it's not the end of the world like it was in the 80's or 90's. This fuck it attitude diffused the OCD in to being powerless.

Now when I get a thought of "oh shit I have HIV" I just think "oh well could be worse I could have terminal cancer"

You could try this with your HOCD
With the thought in your head of "so what" what difference would it make anyway.
Would you die?
Would your life be shortened?
At the end of the day OCD is driven by the fact that we are to feel shame for having these thoughts and if we cared less about being so ashamed the OCD runs out of fuel.

Of course there will be many reasons why this is difficult but with small "so what" steps combined with help from a doctor I hope you can find a way forward and away from the circle of self fueling OCD
 
J

JS0406

Member
Joined
Nov 26, 2019
Messages
6
Location
UK
Have you though about not being bothered about it?
Most of the time with OCD it becomes almost self fueling.

I will give you an example.
A few years ago I was convinced I had HIV. There was no chance that I actually had it but everything became HIV related. I couldn't go for a test as this would give me HIV. Then I had to pray 20 times in a certain pattern so that I wouldn't have HIV. Then certain adverts on TV had to be avoided because if I watched them I would get a diagnosis of HIV.

So I avoided everything but seeing as OCD has a habit of sneaking in to all of our thought processes it found more and more things of reminding me that if I do this or that wrong I will get HIV.

Enough was enough.
I began to train my thoughts with a (So What) attitude. I began to remember that HIV isn't a life sentence anymore and that although terrible it's not the end of the world like it was in the 80's or 90's. This fuck it attitude diffused the OCD in to being powerless.

Now when I get a thought of "oh shit I have HIV" I just think "oh well could be worse I could have terminal cancer"

You could try this with your HOCD
With the thought in your head of "so what" what difference would it make anyway.
Would you die?
Would your life be shortened?
At the end of the day OCD is driven by the fact that we are to feel shame for having these thoughts and if we cared less about being so ashamed the OCD runs out of fuel.

Of course there will be many reasons why this is difficult but with small "so what" steps combined with help from a doctor I hope you can find a way forward and away from the circle of self fueling OCD
I know, it’s the need for certainty.
 
Top