• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

HOCD - but I'm worried I'm straight

H

Haribo

New member
Joined
May 1, 2021
Messages
4
Location
UK
I'm constantly doubting myself, including my sexual orientation. I'm 24 and have never been in a relationship. I'm 99% sure I'm gay but I'm so worried that I'm not.

From a young age I have always been more drawn to women than men. From people I knew, to actors and singers, characters in books and TV shows etc. I always liked women - not in a creepy way, I just felt more connected with them. I just thought I liked the fact that they were girls like me and they were doing cool stuff.

When I was around 13/14, I started realising that I'm just not into guys. The only reason I ever wanted a boyfriend in school is because all of my friends had one, but even then I never actually had a boyfriend because I never liked anyone in my school. My crushes were always women. Most (if not all) of my 'celebrity crushes' are/were women. I can't name any guy I've ever liked in that way.

The problem is I have never actually been in a relationship with a woman so my OCD is convincing me I'm actually straight and that I only think I'm lesbian because I have OCD.

I can see myself dating a woman, I cannot see myself dating a man. I can't even imagine having dinner with a man, never mind kissing and other stuff. I know I like women. I know I am attracted to women and I could go on for hours about why I think women are amazing - but I'm still doubting myself.

I feel like I'm going crazy. I had just fully come to terms with being lesbian when I started getting these doubts, and now I just can't get rid of them. It has been around 5 years now. Sometimes I know I'm gay, other times my mind convinces me I'm just pretending to like women.

OCD sucks. How do I get over this? Please tell me it can get better :(
 
Sash1

Sash1

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2020
Messages
254
Location
Uk
I have OCD, for many years, and there have been times i've questioned is it me, or my OCD deciding on life's decisions/choices..

I've never questioned my sexuality, so can't say if OCD has played any part of that..

It sounds like you know who you are and what/who your attracted too..with or without OCD..

Im sorry I'm probably not helping much, but OCD does suck, it's with me for life, and to be honest, it's not the big bad monster it used to be...........I don't let it control me as much anymore, I've learn to sort of 'negotiate' with it, so 'it' and me, can live alongside each other without having to question every single move I make..

So yes, I do believe it does get better..
 
H

Haribo

New member
Joined
May 1, 2021
Messages
4
Location
UK
I have OCD, for many years, and there have been times i've questioned is it me, or my OCD deciding on life's decisions/choices..

I've never questioned my sexuality, so can't say if OCD has played any part of that..

It sounds like you know who you are and what/who your attracted too..with or without OCD..

Im sorry I'm probably not helping much, but OCD does suck, it's with me for life, and to be honest, it's not the big bad monster it used to be...........I don't let it control me as much anymore, I've learn to sort of 'negotiate' with it, so 'it' and me, can live alongside each other without having to question every single move I make..

So yes, I do believe it does get better..
I've seen a lot of people who are straight with HOCD who think they must be gay, but I'm kind of the opposite. My OCD affects me in lots of ways but this is just another way of me doubting myself I guess.

I feel like I don't trust myself. Like I must be wrong about being gay.

Thank you, I hope it does start to get better
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
7,761
Location
Nashua NH
I think you get over this by getting out of your headspace and spending intimate/romantic time with a woman. xo, j
 
Sash1

Sash1

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2020
Messages
254
Location
Uk
Yeah, that's what OCD does to us, it makes you question, barter, plead and reaffirm every decision you make, it's a nasty little thing..

It's good that your questioning this one though, that's how I started to not let it run my life so much..very positive thing you've done😊
 
H

Haribo

New member
Joined
May 1, 2021
Messages
4
Location
UK
I think you get over this by getting out of your headspace and spending intimate/romantic time with a woman. xo, j
That's a fair point. While I'm obviously open to this, finding another woman into women and around my age and area at this time is difficult. Especially as I'm so socially anxious
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
7,761
Location
Nashua NH
That's a fair point. While I'm obviously open to this, finding another woman into women and around my age and area at this time is difficult. Especially as I'm so socially anxious
Check online.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
A HOCD/SO-OCD is ruining my life Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 2
L I can’t tell anymore if it’s HOCD or denial. I’m so confused and just want to be myself again. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 2
A HOCD taking over my life Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 2
T A half false memory I have that’s making me more confused HOCD (need help) *NSFW* Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 6
T This video won’t stop triggering me and I don’t know what to do (HOCD) *NSFW* Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 3
T Please help, how do I get over this (HOCD) Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 0
T I am in so much pain (HOCD) *NSFW* Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 4
L HOCD Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 2
ZaraHOCD Repression to Homosexuality or HOCD? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 4
ZaraHOCD Triggering HOCD Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 2
T My friend is holding me back from recovery (HOCD) Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 4
ZaraHOCD Anxiety for HOCD Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 5
ZaraHOCD Denial...?(HOCD) Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 4
T HOCD or denial Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 3
M Hocd/tocd Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 1
ZaraHOCD HOCD Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 3
U HOCD Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 4
ZaraHOCD HOCD and Pain Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 2
ZaraHOCD HOCD is Bad...Again Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 5
R HOCD or Denial Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 6
ZaraHOCD HOCD is Better, Thank God Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 3
J Hocd and loss of attraction Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 3
ZaraHOCD Attraction or HOCD? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 2
ZaraHOCD HOCD or Repression? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 3
G Rocd/ HOCD is my boyfriend gay... Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 1
J Hocd.. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 1
ZaraHOCD HOCD or Denied Access to Lesbianism? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 3
J Hocd and loss of attraction Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 5
E Is this part of HOCD/SO-OCD? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 6
J HOCD to TOCD Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 9
E How can I distract myself? (HOCD) Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 5
J I might have HOCD/SOOCD? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 26
L HOCD please help really struggling Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 29
M Hocd or a issue? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 2
B Hocd Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 1
R Hocd or...? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 3
F HOCD or am I in denial?? also TOCD?? (very long, but I'd really really appreciate if someone could read) Please help me!! Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 10
N HOCD Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 4
L HOCD (?) Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 11
L HOCD, loss of attraction Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 6
W Can someone please help is this HOCD? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 11
T hocd or not???? please answer Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 2
E Hocd or denial? :( Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 9
S ROCD & HOCD are ruining my life and relationship! HELP Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 3
E HOCD OR GAY?? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 29
M Not being sure if it's HOCD or real :( Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 5
A HOCD and some more disturbing things, i need help. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 3
Y painful experience with rocd, hocd & pocd Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 3
R Friend very worried about small particles Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 1
T Worried about racist comments Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum 28

Similar threads

Top