Highs or lows which is best

[daffy]

Ive had my problem for so long now that im becomming to acknowledge the signs or at least my family are.

I must admit for me i like the high part cos i can get out and get things done that i normally cannot manage. The only trouble is that i become very secretive trying to hide it from my family.

My main problem tho is i spend money like water. Last year when it happened i had had my cards taken from me but i went ahead and remortgaged my house instead to get me money. Fortunatly my CPN sorted my problems out for me.

I also become very authoratitive and organise things. One time i went knocking on all the doors in the neighborhood telling them how bad the local council was and what they were up to and told them to phone and complain.

Needless to say that resulted in having to attend the day hospital.

When i go low tho all i want to do is stay in bed and it just feels like a black shutter has come down.

I am concerned at the moment tho, cos im not sure if im heading upwards again. Ive spent an awful lot on presents and my grandaughter just has to say she likes something and i get it for her. And yesterday i went and bought a camcorder.

At least if im heading upwards i will be able to laugh at christmas

 

[Megannie]

I think in their own way highs are as bad as the lowsin a high I don't know what's me and what isn't if you get what I mean. As for the money spending, I've got myself in right state with spending in the past.

 

[daffy]

hi megannie, the thing with me is that when im high i dont usually realise it. But when im low its really obvious to me and anyone around me cos i lose any will to to do anything. But when im high im happy with myself

 

[Erme]

I realise both (not so much though when high) but I'm the best @ denial having been mislabelled personality disorder for about 8 or so years prior to being diagnosed. I've had so many bad experiences with being refused treatment it's unreal when I really haven't been coping.

The highs for me are dangerous. I go off travelling on a whim without proper prep and spend a fortune! (I'm still paying it off about 4 years later!) But the low's are equally not good because then all my paranoia and stuff comes back.

I found anti depressants quite effective with the paranoia some years ago but it's been a long while since I've been on them. I would love to get back on them for a bit more stability right now.

Erme

 

[Megannie]

Are you on meds for your moods ie mood stabiliser? I have found that whilst experience highs and lows they are no where near as severe as they were.

I know what you mean about not realising you are on a high, I can be very creative. Also I think I can do things that I can't usually, to me it's me being normal but when hubby has pointed it out after the event I can see that I was on a high. I seem to have more lows these days but they don't last as long as they did.

Oh dear Erme, it must be worrying for you, knowing what you are capable of whilst on a high. I'm fortunate to have hubby to keep me in check, also being slightly crippled with arthritis prevents me from too much activity. I am much more stable these days as long as I keep taking the tablets.

 

[Erme]

It's not so worrying as it used to be pre depot and stuff. The depot helps with the insight and I find all I need on a high (after just being on one in the autumn) is a bit of extra chlorpromazine for a while, which fortunately the day centre are good @ hassling me to take.

But after my last high I'm now scared of too much sugar espiecally nutella and strawberry jam

 

[Windblows]

what is worse

It is not which is better but which is worse of high or low phases in bi-polar. Definately the lows feel the worst, the highs feel good.
Being high is not all good though because during those times we can do so many things we would not normally do and even if we are doing something good we can't keep it up. Soon the high is over and we realise we were not super human afterall and get depressed.
I am interested to know what things people have done while they are high. Knocking on peoples doors getting them to complain about the council might have been a positive action and there must be more to tell. Perhaps you were doing something important that you just could not complete. My council is not so hot and I am always trying to tell them what they could do better and today they even sent me a long overdue reply.
I was not high. I have not been high for decades and maybe the Lithium works for me or maybe my diagnosis was wrong all along. But I do get the lows. I find that I can recognised my feelings develope and nip them in the bud by seeking good company, talking, walking and generally taking good care of myself or doing something for someone else to alleviate my own anxieties.
Never mind what is worse - what can we do to make ourselves better?

 

[mischief]

Welcome Windblows

I find that I can recognised my feelings develope and nip them in the bud by seeking good company, talking, walking and generally taking good care of myself or doing something for someone else to alleviate my own anxieties.
Never mind what is worse - what can we do to make ourselves better?

I like your question here! and hey what a great list of things we can do to nip difficult feelings in the bud! Thanks for sharing!

 

[Windblows]

ways to keep out of the danger zones

Hi

Yes it is a good question, so please can anyone add more to the list of things we can do to help ourselves?

If you feel you can't answer the question then please think about who or what you would say helps you regain stability. for instance

 

[daffy]

When im high there is very little i can do to stop it. I live on my own now but do have good friends and family, who support me when needed. I seem to have a high about every 18months and i know im heading for one again, so have had quietipine added to my depakote and buspirone and others. Ive tried the lithium but it didnt suit me, then i was on olanzapine, which although it worked i would never take again, cos i blew up like a balloon and put on over 3 stone which caused me to become depressed.

Windblows in response to your question

The council had said they were going to put up some temp. portakabins whilst they did some repair work. I got it into my head they would be an eyesore, so i typed out a letter of complaint, did 100 copies along with 100 SAE and handed them personally. So it cost me a fair be in paper and stamps.

My activities and phone calls must have worked cos they didnt use that site

 

[midnight]

Hi there, highs are great aren't they...I do the spending thing too and so does my partner so whenever there is a large quantity of new clothes or more likely shoes (I have over 50 pairs) the usual question is asked " are you feeling ok"

The trouble is that I do tend to get myself in bother with my mouth, especially at work. Mind you I have learnt coping strategies, if I am feeling like I am going into one then I archive all e-mails for 24 hours before sending them and if I 'have to tell someone about something' I make a list to do it later then revisit the list to make sure its what I want to do. I have had to learn to do this after a number of 'career limiting statements' I have made to very sneior members of the company - which I try and laugh about now.

I reckon manage your meds to stay the right side of the middle - my gp is great ( an ex-psychatrist) and he lets me call the shots

 

[Windblows]

Council

Hi Daffy
Thank you for explaining more about what you did to influence your local Council. Yes it sounds like your actions were effective but it must have cost quite alot for 100 stamps. Maybe it was worth it or maybe not but at least you made a difference and you must have been taken seriously. That's good isn't it?
You may think it is ineviable that you go high again soon and that belief can itself help to make it happen unless you find protection you have faith in and development of that can only happen by learning from experience and recognising what makes you more able to control yourself.
I am sorry that at this time it seems medication alone is being used to control your highs. I think this is a great pity and (though I would never tell you not to take them) I would like to assure you that you can find other ways as well. As you get older the highs may vanish all together. That is a pity too because they can be a very creative phase of this 'illness'.
Anyway good luck with whatever your next venture turns into and I hope that you will be able to keep yourself sufficiently well grounded to make the most of it. Maybe you could plan ahead now how you would like to use your creative energy and set yourself a manageable budget.
Well thats my Council to you...now i'd better sort out the Council who wrote back to me lately!!

 

[Erme]

You may think it is ineviable that you go high again soon and that belief can itself help to make it happen unless you find protection you have faith in and development of that can only happen by learning from experience and recognising what makes you more able to control yourself.
I am sorry that at this time it seems medication alone is being used to control your highs. I think this is a great pity and (though I would never tell you not to take them) I would like to assure you that you can find other ways as well. As you get older the highs may vanish all together. That is a pity too because they can be a very creative phase of this 'illness'.

WHAT'S SO TERRIBLE ABOUT TAKING MEDICATION

I mean without it I would be housebound and unable to eat properly and probably not alive!!!

 

[Windblows]

daffy READ THIS

I have not said taking meds is terrible. What i am saying is that they are not the only answer.
Other solutions can be found to help as well and thereby reduce the need for so much medication. I still take Lithium but it does not suit everyone and i am now getting problems with my thyroid which is most likely to have been caused by the medication. It can also damage the kidneys and liver, thats why blood tests are taken so often.
Besides that thERE are many aspects to the illness that are reactive to environmental factors ranging from lack of activity to bereavement that can cause the episodes to errupt. The cyclical nature can be broken. Of course thats only the opinion of someone who has been diagnoses bi-polar for the last 30 years plus and kept episode free for the last 6 years. We are all different because we each have our own genetic inheritance and life experience. Its only the 'life experience' that we can do something about by changing our habits, attitudes, friends and/or self perception.
You do not need to do everything at once.
Meds are probably effective at altering our moods because they help us by-pass the problem rather than solve it. Keep taking them while they help but meantime find ways to help yourself and reduce your dependence on them. Nothing to panic about, seek your doctors advice. Ask about other forms of help such as alternative therapies, counselling or dietry advice.

Remember too you can plan your future.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

 

[Erme]

Okay so the psychs don't know everything. But I'm not in favour of the 'anti psychiatry' group of people. Yeah like if we could fix everything ourselves the psychs would be redundant! Gee whiz they're not all evil! (and I've had some pretty bad ones in my time!!!).

I only get mania about every 3 years but it's bad enough when I do. I get little highs in between but the only dangerous stuff is about every 3 years and it's worse if I don't comply with treatment and then I put myself @ risk.

Yeah....like I really want to die because of non compliance!
(and I was suicidal only a few days ago so don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about ).