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Hiding depression at work

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lizyorange

Member
Joined
Jan 25, 2015
Messages
17
Sometimes I ask myself what would happen if I spent the energy I use hiding my menta health condition in actually opening up about it the right way ( if there's one). At this moment if I don't go to work I have to deal with this black dog and do everything it tells me to. However it also makes presence at work but I do a pretty hard job hiding it and is working. The thing is that when I get home I'm tired, angry and have suicidal thoughts until I go again to work. This is the reason I hate having days off. I can't seem to find a balance between hiding it and fully expressing it. Sorry for the rant and lack of ability to express myself but, do you guys feel something similar? if so how you deal?
 
P

Purple butterfly

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Sometimes I ask myself what would happen if I spent the energy I use hiding my menta health condition in actually opening up about it the right way ( if there's one). At this moment if I don't go to work I have to deal with this black dog and do everything it tells me to. However it also makes presence at work but I do a pretty hard job hiding it and is working. The thing is that when I get home I'm tired, angry and have suicidal thoughts until I go again to work. This is the reason I hate having days off. I can't seem to find a balance between hiding it and fully expressing it. Sorry for the rant and lack of ability to express myself but, do you guys feel something similar? if so how you deal?
I had these issues with my employer where It was affecting my work I had two choices tell the truth or lose my job.... It hasn't been easy as people in my work have heard things and live to make assumptions or try and bully me, but I still have a job 3years later they are very helpful at working with me to help me go to my appointments or to just take 5 minutes if things are getting on top of me.... Have you not just thought of sitting with a trusted manager and telling them about your condition but not going in to too much detail??x
 
Sparklypurplepaws

Sparklypurplepaws

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Oct 12, 2013
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Lincolnshire
I agree with alone girl, opening up to a manager could make a world of difference to your time at work.
I used to work, and eventually did open up and mostly it was positive.
I don't work now but I have children and I have to put my happy face on for them, it wears me out.
 
L

lizyorange

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Joined
Jan 25, 2015
Messages
17
I do have a nice manager that once had a deep conversation about what makes us anxious, he was pretty sensitive with his words. He actually had to deal recently with a coworker I'm still working with. He thought she had some serious health issues ( mentl health related) and was verry worried about how speaking to her could make things worse. Since that day I'm pretty careful about talking to him more personally. I don't want to bother because at this moment the company just started and they have a lot to deal with...
 
P

Purple butterfly

Guest
Unfortunately for you manager there are laws protecting people with mental health issues and the equalities act I've read intensely as I say my employer has tried to bully me out of a job I also have now because I went looking for help an employment support worker she's lovely and has always got my back if I'm in the right of course x
 

MarlieeB

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Jan 15, 2013
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25,043
Hi Lizy and :welcome: to the forum.

It's a hard one. I managed to successfully hide my depression for years until about two and a half years ago when things got too much for me. I was just known as being a little sensitive until a month long period when things got way too much and I was being dragged in for telling's off on a almost daily basis.

Lucky for me when I finally sat down and admitted everything I talked to the most supportive manager and he was great and up to a month ago he was and then I went and blew the relationship but it was my fault. When I was off sick for 8 weeks I came back and saw just how many other managers are actually really supportive.

They have a right to keep confidentalty.

In my opinion, one day it will get too much and it will come out in one way or another.

I would try and talk to a manager that is nice. Even if it means at first dropping hints, just to see how they may react, you never know, they might actually approach you.

Marliee x
 
E

Elle-X

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Dec 21, 2014
Messages
184
Location
Lincolnshire
Hi Lizy :) sorry to read you're struggling a bit. I've never felt secure enough with my Manager/co-workers to open up about my experiences with depression and anxiety as they have made some fairly flippant comments about others with similar conditions. It's difficult to know what to do: on one hand, you want to get everything out in the open so that the secrets do not become unmanageable but equally, it can be difficult to articulate how you feel to make others understand.
 
S

sadgirl

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Joined
May 25, 2012
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2,296
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in my own private hell
Sometimes I ask myself what would happen if I spent the energy I use hiding my menta health condition in actually opening up about it the right way ( if there's one). At this moment if I don't go to work I have to deal with this black dog and do everything it tells me to. However it also makes presence at work but I do a pretty hard job hiding it and is working. The thing is that when I get home I'm tired, angry and have suicidal thoughts until I go again to work. This is the reason I hate having days off. I can't seem to find a balance between hiding it and fully expressing it. Sorry for the rant and lack of ability to express myself but, do you guys feel something similar? if so how you deal?
Hi I must admit to being a bit of a master of the art of pretending that everything's ok I'm able to split off into another person that makes jokes changes the subject ect but then I have done since I was 14 yrs I don't let anyone get close to me and now when I eventually go bk to work this time round (been off for 6months) am going to have lots of questions ect about why I was off but so long as it stays between me and my boss it's ok I will just carry on keeping them all at arms length you have to do what you feel comfortable with and if you decide that you don't want them to know then it's no one's buisness but yours
 
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