• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

hiding behind bipolar diagnosis?

G

grace68

Well-known member
Joined
May 12, 2009
Messages
599
Location
yorkshire
i posted this on the 'fear of getting well thread', but i really think it sums up my struggle with bipolar. i'm wondering if other people have had similar experiences ?


it's like i got really poorly, have had to accept (again, this has happened several times) that yes, i do REALLY have Bi-polar, and that i must take the lithium, and STAY on it. but now, as the crisis passes and the depression starts to lift, i start to panic. i want to give my job up, but if my depression is better, then i will be expected to work again.

now , i just want to say to everyone, "hey, i've got bi-polar- you can't expect anything much from me. you can't expect long-term commitment, because i can never know whether i might get depressed again, and not be able to function."

thats how i'm feeling now.

when i get to feeling better for a while, then i tend to strongly resent the bi-polar diagnosis, and the lithium, so i come off-meds, deny i have bi-polar, and become totally over-confident. i go on like that for several months, becoming hypo-manic (manic but not psychotic)- until, eventually, i crash down into depression , again.

i just don't want this repetitive cycle ever again. so , i guess it feels safer to hide behind the bi-polar diagnosis, use it as an excuse, and by doing so, lower mine, and everybody else's expectations of me. so , yes- i have a huge fear of getting well.
:cry:
 
L

laulipop

Guest
aw it sounds awful for u, but I can understand.
I don't even have a proper diagnosis yet, but im fairly sure (as are my family) that this is what I have.
Anyway, just wanted to say
thinking of you
 
H

Happychappy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
45
Grace,

Sounds like you're talking about me - I'm guessing your feelings are very normal for many bipolar people.

I'm glad to say after 10 yers of Lithium, I now love and cherish it. I've managed to be reasonably stable working 8 years out of the last 10, and although bipolar has lost me jobs, pissed off those around me, I have learn't to hide/controle the sysmptons to some extent. Keep taking that medication, there's no shame, most people take some sort of a pill on a daly basis (vitamins, asprin).

Someone once told me there is more shame in breaking a bone, than in breaking your mind (mental health prob) because breaking a bone is often your fault.

Keep on that medicin Grace:clap:
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
C PTSD or BIPOLAR ? Bipolar Forum 2
C Anyone on the Autism spectrum and have Bipolar and how do the 2 interact for you? Bipolar Forum 1
N Bipolar and pregnancy advice? Bipolar Forum 5
M Jobs For Bipolar Bipolar Forum 20
B Bipolar Analogy - What do you think? Bipolar Forum 10
P Does "mood disorder" mean bipolar? Bipolar Forum 19
F Would love some help/advice understanding my first experience with someone who has bipolar - Bipolar Forum 21
T Natural ways to deal with bipolar depression and anxiety Bipolar Forum 13
P Is this bipolar? Bipolar Forum 20
R Bipolar - lamotrogine Bipolar Forum 6
E when did you start to realise that you have bipolar? Bipolar Forum 17
J I am looking for answers for my Bipolar II symptoms. Bipolar Forum 7
T My Cousin has bipolar disorder and is a life threat to his parents Bipolar Forum 3
A Can i have BPD and Bipolar? Bipolar Forum 3
BONE My Bipolar...My ADHD... Bipolar Forum 5
M Stress and Bipolar Disorder Bipolar Forum 19
L Son with bipolar Bipolar Forum 9
A BIPOLAR FACTS REASONS AND TREATMENT Bipolar Forum 18
P Bipolar psychosis Bipolar Forum 11
A Bipolar or BPD and terrified of meditation.. Bipolar Forum 5
P Aren't bipolar moods supposed to be more extreme? Bipolar Forum 17
M Bipolar Group People Are The Best! Bipolar Forum 5
M Bipolar meds Bipolar Forum 21
R Bipolar and ADHD. Bipolar Forum 8
P bipolar disorder experiences? Bipolar Forum 11
P I do not feel I have Bipolar at all Bipolar Forum 25
T My view on whether Bipolar Disorder can be cured Bipolar Forum 8
C Bipolar type ll and moving on. Bipolar Forum 2
M Advice: Medications for Bipolar Depression Bipolar Forum 14
G My parent is bipolar and I show a lot of syptoms but the doctor knows best. Bipolar Forum 4
G I can't bear bipolar any more Bipolar Forum 9
M My on/off partner has shown all signs of bipolar, and I need help & advice please Bipolar Forum 4
HLon99 Sweating the small stuff; staying organised with bipolar Bipolar Forum 3
G Stress and bipolar episodes Bipolar Forum 16
P How often do you experience psychosis (question for people with Bipolar)? Bipolar Forum 7
Q Is overspending an actual symptom of bipolar? Bipolar Forum 7
J Bipolar help Bipolar Forum 19
G bipolar arguments? Bipolar Forum 2
Q I'm bipolar and I'm always afraid Bipolar Forum 12
T Bipolar with histrionic features? Bipolar Forum 3
M Nervous about Husband with Bipolar Disorder coming home for a visit after episode Bipolar Forum 16
Someone_alone I think I might have Bipolar Disorder Bipolar Forum 10
Huckleberry Manic depressive/ bipolar Bipolar Forum 6
G How many years before being diagnosed with bipolar? Bipolar Forum 25
E (pseudo)tourette and bipolar Bipolar Forum 8
128762 Commiting to things with bipolar? Bipolar Forum 2
J Bipolar effecting my relationship Bipolar Forum 22
P "No one cares." - invalidation and realizing I may have bipolar disorder Bipolar Forum 13
G person with bipolar saying hurtful things? Bipolar Forum 5
dubblemonkey bipolar medication is extremely sensitive Bipolar Forum 2

Similar threads

Top