• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

hiding behind bipolar diagnosis?

G

grace68

Well-known member
Joined
May 12, 2009
Messages
599
Location
yorkshire
i posted this on the 'fear of getting well thread', but i really think it sums up my struggle with bipolar. i'm wondering if other people have had similar experiences ?


it's like i got really poorly, have had to accept (again, this has happened several times) that yes, i do REALLY have Bi-polar, and that i must take the lithium, and STAY on it. but now, as the crisis passes and the depression starts to lift, i start to panic. i want to give my job up, but if my depression is better, then i will be expected to work again.

now , i just want to say to everyone, "hey, i've got bi-polar- you can't expect anything much from me. you can't expect long-term commitment, because i can never know whether i might get depressed again, and not be able to function."

thats how i'm feeling now.

when i get to feeling better for a while, then i tend to strongly resent the bi-polar diagnosis, and the lithium, so i come off-meds, deny i have bi-polar, and become totally over-confident. i go on like that for several months, becoming hypo-manic (manic but not psychotic)- until, eventually, i crash down into depression , again.

i just don't want this repetitive cycle ever again. so , i guess it feels safer to hide behind the bi-polar diagnosis, use it as an excuse, and by doing so, lower mine, and everybody else's expectations of me. so , yes- i have a huge fear of getting well.
:cry:
 
L

laulipop

Guest
aw it sounds awful for u, but I can understand.
I don't even have a proper diagnosis yet, but im fairly sure (as are my family) that this is what I have.
Anyway, just wanted to say
thinking of you
 
H

Happychappy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
45
Grace,

Sounds like you're talking about me - I'm guessing your feelings are very normal for many bipolar people.

I'm glad to say after 10 yers of Lithium, I now love and cherish it. I've managed to be reasonably stable working 8 years out of the last 10, and although bipolar has lost me jobs, pissed off those around me, I have learn't to hide/controle the sysmptons to some extent. Keep taking that medication, there's no shame, most people take some sort of a pill on a daly basis (vitamins, asprin).

Someone once told me there is more shame in breaking a bone, than in breaking your mind (mental health prob) because breaking a bone is often your fault.

Keep on that medicin Grace:clap:
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
FallenAngel Hiding Bipolar Forum 1
T been in hiding Bipolar Forum 3
Ghost_Owl Left behind. Bipolar Forum 4
H Antidepressants or TMS for bipolar Bipolar Forum 25
M Deal with the alcohol problem or bipolar first? Bipolar Forum 6
T Low Vitamin B12 and D in Bipolar Bipolar Forum 7
Keesha Those with Bipolar Disorder, 3 X’s More Likely to Develop Diabetes Bipolar Forum 16
M Help w a bipolar 19 yr old. Bipolar Forum 34
Wishbone UK Bipolar Support Groups Bipolar Forum 4
B Diagnosed bipolar but.... Bipolar Forum 7
C Bipolar Bipolar Forum 6
B Severe bipolar Bipolar Forum 18
R Bipolar and pregnant.... Work life anxiety?? Bipolar Forum 10
P Sleep and Bipolar Bipolar Forum 12
B Opioid use and bipolar? Bipolar Forum 10
S Bipolar, alcohol and pot Bipolar Forum 27
H co-occurring bipolar & adhd: what meds/lifestyle/habits work for you? Bipolar Forum 12
S How long in a new relationship do I tell her I am bipolar Bipolar Forum 10
S Children of Bipolar Bipolar Forum 21
D Cyclothymia into bipolar Bipolar Forum 9
E Bipolar spouse never rests Bipolar Forum 18
J Being a better friend to my bipolar friends Bipolar Forum 2
M Any good book/literature that talks about Bipolar syndrome ? Bipolar Forum 13
T I've found the cure for Bipolar Bipolar Forum 8
T Antidepressants and Bipolar 1 & 2 Bipolar Forum 13
Talula67 Recommended reading re- Recent Bipolar diagnosis please. Bipolar Forum 9
C Hi everyone my name is ... and I have bipolar disorder. Intro Bipolar Forum 6
G My nephew, Bipolar Bipolar Forum 60
M Sleep disorder tied to Bipolar 2? Help Bipolar Forum 59
H Supporting possible bipolar partner Bipolar Forum 18
I Bipolar II Diagnosis Uncertainty/Confusion/Concern Bipolar Forum 36
C PTSD or BIPOLAR ? Bipolar Forum 4
C Anyone on the Autism spectrum and have Bipolar and how do the 2 interact for you? Bipolar Forum 2
N Bipolar and pregnancy advice? Bipolar Forum 5
M Jobs For Bipolar Bipolar Forum 20
B Bipolar Analogy - What do you think? Bipolar Forum 10
P Does "mood disorder" mean bipolar? Bipolar Forum 19
F Would love some help/advice understanding my first experience with someone who has bipolar - Bipolar Forum 21
T Natural ways to deal with bipolar depression and anxiety Bipolar Forum 13
P Is this bipolar? Bipolar Forum 20
R Bipolar - lamotrogine Bipolar Forum 6
E when did you start to realise that you have bipolar? Bipolar Forum 17
J I am looking for answers for my Bipolar II symptoms. Bipolar Forum 7
T My Cousin has bipolar disorder and is a life threat to his parents Bipolar Forum 3
A Can i have BPD and Bipolar? Bipolar Forum 3
BONE My Bipolar...My ADHD... Bipolar Forum 5
M Stress and Bipolar Disorder Bipolar Forum 19
L Son with bipolar Bipolar Forum 9
A BIPOLAR FACTS REASONS AND TREATMENT Bipolar Forum 18
P Bipolar psychosis Bipolar Forum 11

Similar threads

Top