Hi

[colh]

I am new on hear and don't know what to expect but am hoping that somehow I can gain some help or comfort from this place as I am currently struggling badly.

I am a 34 yr old guy from Surrey/S London, and have experienced MH issues for several years and have visited PD's off and for during this time.

I was tablet free for about 5 years, but during that time I took a lot of Cocaine, Speed, MDMA and prescription pills - anything to try and make me feel better.

Over the last couple of years I have been suffering from depression - starting on Prozac and am currently on Sertraline.

I have been having mood changes for about a year, where one day I am almost high (naturally) and then for the next few days I am really low.
The doctors are talking about Bipolar II, and I am due to go and see them this week to have further assesments.

Last Thursday I was especially high, yet since Friday morning I have not left my bedroom, and cant deal with speaking to people or anything else.

Yesterday I was contemplating an overdose, but didn't do it.
Today that thought has gone but I have withdrawn inside myself and cannot think about talking or answering my phone.

Can anyone help

 

[Elvis100]

Hello there

Just wanted to say hi and . It sounds like you are going through a really tough time. I have had a lot of the same feelings as you and its just a horrible place to be. I hope you have got people out there to help you friends, family etc. I could not have managed without mine. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 about 2 months ago and am currently taking Lithium and Seroquel. I have to say its been a massive help to me but its been pretty tough to get my head around. I joined the forum about a week ago and it has been a great place to see how other people cope and help one another.

 

[colh]

Thank you for replying.

I do not have anyone to help at the moment.
My family had a bereavement a couple of months ago so my mum is still dealing with that and I cannot put more shit onto her, and my friends are not typically people you could talk to about this type of thing.
I work in debt recovery and door security, so you can imagine that if anyone found out about this, they would not be that sympathetic.

I have managed to hold it together relatively for the last month or so, and have been going to work, but that is all I have managed, and have stopped the gym, and just come home from work and lie down.
I have even reduced my days at work to give me extra time as I flt I couldnt cope with 5 days a week.

Since Friday though it has got really bad and I cannot even think about work next week or indeed see a way out right now.

 

[Elvis100]

Hello

I would get back to the doctors as soon as you can and explain how you feel. Are you linked to a CMHT yet?

 

[colh]

not linked to anyone at just my gp and this shrink he sent me to.


I know that unless I do this it is not going away, but for so long I have tried to hide this and have some semblance of 'normality', that I am scared that once I do this, there is no going back and it could ruin a lot of things for me

 

[Elvis100]

I certainly had the same worries as you. I first became ill about three years ago, wasn't eating or sleeping and my doctor said i was severely depressed and i was prescribed sertraline. I took that on and off for a while but i felt it didnt make me any better in fact if anything it made me worse. I totally lost the plot. One day I ran away from work and then a couple of days later I ran around my work place screaming that someone was going to kill me. I was sent straight to see a pyschiatrist surprise surprise!!! She said I was dellusional etc etc I refused to believe there was a problem was prescribed various medications of which i didnt take.. to cut a long story short I then had a manic episode about 4 months ago and have been taking Lithium ever since along with seroquel. A long the way I have def realised who my true friends are (lost a few along the way) Had to cope with people thinking im unpredictable and it has certainly changed my life but i hope for the better. I would never admit there was a problem until the most recent manic episode yet i knew there was a problem and didnt do anything about it until that decision was taken from me.