• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Hi

C

colh

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2010
Messages
12
Location
Worcester Park
I am new on hear and don't know what to expect but am hoping that somehow I can gain some help or comfort from this place as I am currently struggling badly.

I am a 34 yr old guy from Surrey/S London, and have experienced MH issues for several years and have visited PD's off and for during this time.

I was tablet free for about 5 years, but during that time I took a lot of Cocaine, Speed, MDMA and prescription pills - anything to try and make me feel better.

Over the last couple of years I have been suffering from depression - starting on Prozac and am currently on Sertraline.

I have been having mood changes for about a year, where one day I am almost high (naturally) and then for the next few days I am really low.
The doctors are talking about Bipolar II, and I am due to go and see them this week to have further assesments.

Last Thursday I was especially high, yet since Friday morning I have not left my bedroom, and cant deal with speaking to people or anything else.

Yesterday I was contemplating an overdose, but didn't do it.
Today that thought has gone but I have withdrawn inside myself and cannot think about talking or answering my phone.

Can anyone help
 
E

Elvis100

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2010
Messages
24
Hello there

Just wanted to say hi and :welcome:. It sounds like you are going through a really tough time. I have had a lot of the same feelings as you and its just a horrible place to be. I hope you have got people out there to help you friends, family etc. I could not have managed without mine. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 about 2 months ago and am currently taking Lithium and Seroquel. I have to say its been a massive help to me but its been pretty tough to get my head around. I joined the forum about a week ago and it has been a great place to see how other people cope and help one another.
 
C

colh

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2010
Messages
12
Location
Worcester Park
Thank you for replying.

I do not have anyone to help at the moment.
My family had a bereavement a couple of months ago so my mum is still dealing with that and I cannot put more shit onto her, and my friends are not typically people you could talk to about this type of thing.
I work in debt recovery and door security, so you can imagine that if anyone found out about this, they would not be that sympathetic.

I have managed to hold it together relatively for the last month or so, and have been going to work, but that is all I have managed, and have stopped the gym, and just come home from work and lie down.
I have even reduced my days at work to give me extra time as I flt I couldnt cope with 5 days a week.

Since Friday though it has got really bad and I cannot even think about work next week or indeed see a way out right now.
 
E

Elvis100

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2010
Messages
24
Hello

I would get back to the doctors as soon as you can and explain how you feel. Are you linked to a CMHT yet?
 
C

colh

Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2010
Messages
12
Location
Worcester Park
not linked to anyone at just my gp and this shrink he sent me to.


I know that unless I do this it is not going away, but for so long I have tried to hide this and have some semblance of 'normality', that I am scared that once I do this, there is no going back and it could ruin a lot of things for me
 
E

Elvis100

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2010
Messages
24
I certainly had the same worries as you. I first became ill about three years ago, wasn't eating or sleeping and my doctor said i was severely depressed and i was prescribed sertraline. I took that on and off for a while but i felt it didnt make me any better in fact if anything it made me worse. I totally lost the plot. One day I ran away from work and then a couple of days later I ran around my work place screaming that someone was going to kill me. I was sent straight to see a pyschiatrist surprise surprise!!! She said I was dellusional etc etc I refused to believe there was a problem was prescribed various medications of which i didnt take.. to cut a long story short I then had a manic episode about 4 months ago and have been taking Lithium ever since along with seroquel. A long the way I have def realised who my true friends are (lost a few along the way) Had to cope with people thinking im unpredictable and it has certainly changed my life but i hope for the better. I would never admit there was a problem until the most recent manic episode yet i knew there was a problem and didnt do anything about it until that decision was taken from me.
 
Top