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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Hi

S

sluisga

Member
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
5
Location
London
Just 'came out' of the mental illness closet so to speak.

Anyway, last year I had a breakdown which resulted in me smashing the living room window and trying to get out (the house door was locked).

I was admitted into a psychiatric ward for 2 weeks and then off work for 3.5 months. Was on two different medications (olandsopine up to 20mg down to 10mg and then aripiprazole 10mg) which I weened myself off after taking those different meds for an 8 month period without my psychiatrist's knowledge. He was very dissaproving when I told him (it was the only form of control I had on my own illness), but I was fed up of being an emotionless zombie and didn't think they were needed any more as I believed my case to be very acute.
I was never given a specific diagnosis, per se. But did receive CBT treatment (cognitve behavioural therapy) for about 12 sessions, maybe less and I found them extreamly helpful. More than any of the doctors and nurses that treated me in the ward, at home or in the day clinic.

During my period of illness, I went from 90kg to 125kg or even 135kg in weight. This is likely through the excess hunger pangs and emotional fulfilment and free time available whilst off sick. (what do you do for 3+ months off sick???)
I have since found the excess weight helpful when weightlifting as I now have more mass than before to shift more and lift heavier weights. Something good came from the weight gain (y)

I don't consider myself to have any metal health problems now as I have been supported very well during the ill period by my family, friends and staff at work.

Thought I'd join this site to see what it's about and check out the forums.
 
Last edited:
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
Hi, :welcome: to the forum. It's good to hear that you seem to have come through the other side of your breakdown. I expect the weight gain was partly due to olanzapine, it's notorious for weight gain. But you've put it to positive use and that's great. I know the feeling about what do you do when off sick for 3.5 months - I've been off for 2 months, having problems going out of the house on my own, and I'm getting really fed up.
 
S

sluisga

Member
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
5
Location
London
I'm sorry to hear that T_babe, I went to the gym, saw friends but as I was off work I felt I shouldn't be enjoying myself. Does that make sense?
I closed my facebook account as I didn't want people from work seeing what I'd be up to if I was posting messages or going to events etc as I'm a very high social network user.

I think the olandsopine stripped me of any joy from what I used to do (listening to music, whistling, etc) thanks to my friends and family I had things to do. Then when I moved on to aripiprazole made
me want to throw up when I had to eat at lunch time. Maybe my own psychological doing but it never happened before and it hasn't happened since I stopped taking it.
As I was taking a different dosis (two 5mg) I'd forget to take them sometimes and the instructions say wait until your next dose so you aren't 'doubled up'.

As I regularly forgot to take them I found no difference and thenwas taking them every other day. Until eventually I was going on holiday (having been back at work for 5 months on a staggered return) and never took them again.

I feel very lucky, and would hope everyone had the same support I did.

It's now been 5 months since I haven't taken any psychiatric meds.
 
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