• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Hi

E

Ed19

Active member
Joined
Oct 9, 2009
Messages
34
Location
London
Hi everyone im Ed im 19 and have SAD however i am doubting the diagnosis, thought i would join up on here as my friends dont have a concept of what is happening to me.

Ed
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
Hi Ed and :welcome: to the forum. I hope you'll find us a friendly and supportive bunch :)
 
E

Ed19

Active member
Joined
Oct 9, 2009
Messages
34
Location
London
Hi Ed and :welcome: to the forum. I hope you'll find us a friendly and supportive bunch :)
Thanx very much, really need some help at the moment feel so crap i ve been trying not 2 do anything but i really need to.

Ed
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
Well, if and when you feel up to it, tell us a bit more about yourself and we'll do what we can.

Take care
 
E

Ed19

Active member
Joined
Oct 9, 2009
Messages
34
Location
London
Well i started getting depressed from about 12 onwards. this was in part due to my parents marriage detiorating. when i was 14 i started cutting myself before taking an overdose and ending up in hospital. after that i got referred to a psychiatrist however he only saw me once every 3 months and was useless. i stopped seeing him after 4 or 5 sessions as i had carried on self harming.
just after i took the overdose my parents split up and started getting divorced. there were lots of rumours going round the local town saying that my dad was beating my mum up and tht she was cheating on him etc. during this time i was threatened with suspension from school and being chucked out of the Army Cadets as they didnt want to be responsible if anything happened.

I took a further overdose later that year but did not bother going 2 the hospital. when i started college in 2006 my depression soon came back and i returned to self harming and was sent home from college ebcause of it after ending up in hospital again. this is when i was diagnosed with sad. i got myself a light and things improved slightly howevere i was still regularly self harming. the next year i was open with my college about it (i was living there both years btw) and they said that i had to go and see a CPN. i was also made 2 contact the on duty staff every night otherwise they would call out an emergency team to find me. during this time i carried on self harming and generally felt very depressed.

Last year i was out in Saudi Arabia and thought i would not get my SAD while i was out there however about this time last year it returned while i was still out there. this is what makes me question wheather it is SAD or not. It has come back again the past few days and i am finding it very difficult to cope. i keep on thinking about killing myself and find it hard to stop myself from doing it. i have also lost my appetite and keep on forgetting things as well as having massive mood swings and not being able to get too sleep until the early hours. i am also getting paranoid about people and think that they are backstabbing me or in the case of my gf leave me.

hope someone can relate to this.

Ed
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
Have you been to your GP/MH team and told them you are still self harming? I'm no medical expert but to my mind, if you are still feeling like this then you need to get help, as you may have more than SAD. Do you feel like this all year round?

Try and get yourself an urgent appointment, and keep safe til then. Keep posting if it helps.
 
E

Ed19

Active member
Joined
Oct 9, 2009
Messages
34
Location
London
Im waiting till i m back up at my mums as im only down in london 4 a few more days as my job has ended here. this is not the cause of it though as i have another one lined up. i think it may be more than SAD and i will get an appointment just the DRs and most of the MH staff i have seen have been useless especially up in lincolnshire where my mum lives. It isnt all year round which is why SAD makes sense as a diagnosis but im just wondering if i have somehting else as well. I just want it all to end so i can be happy again but i doubt that will happen somehow.

Ed
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
That's fair enough, try and get to see someone as soon as you get back to your mum's. Maybe print out your post and show it to the doctor, it's often easier than trying to find the words.

Look after yourself.
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Hi Ed and :welcome: to the forum,

Is there anything significant to you about this time of year that might be triggering your bouts of depression?

Do you know why you feel the need to self harm? What it represents and what it does?

In my opinion although you may have SAD, self harming in itself although a coping mechanism, is a problem which you may need to tackle separately as well as your bouts of depression.

The separation of your parents can have a devastating effect on the children involved. Especially with those rumours going around. That must have been difficult for you, and turned your world upside down. The effects of a parental breakup can affect the children for many years sometimes well into adulthood. It might be worth exploring if alongside your light therapy, some form of talking therapy might help?

Take care
 
E

Ed19

Active member
Joined
Oct 9, 2009
Messages
34
Location
London
Hi Ed and :welcome: to the forum,

Is there anything significant to you about this time of year that might be triggering your bouts of depression?

Do you know why you feel the need to self harm? What it represents and what it does?

In my opinion although you may have SAD, self harming in itself although a coping mechanism, is a problem which you may need to tackle separately as well as your bouts of depression.

The separation of your parents can have a devastating effect on the children involved. Especially with those rumours going around. That must have been difficult for you, and turned your world upside down. The effects of a parental breakup can affect the children for many years sometimes well into adulthood. It might be worth exploring if alongside your light therapy, some form of talking therapy might help?

Take care
It was about the time that i took my first overdose because of how things were at home. i self harm because the physical pain makes me feel better after a while and wen i see the blood dripping off me it feels like my problems are going away. I have tried tackling the whole divorce thing i had a family therapist before it happened and then a private counsellor afterwards too. the private one did help but i feel as if i have moved on from that and dont need 2 discuss it anymore in length.

I dont particularly like talking to MH staff as im worried about what they might do if i tell them the honest truth. I know i should be truthful to them but i always err on the side of caution.
 
E

Ed19

Active member
Joined
Oct 9, 2009
Messages
34
Location
London
well done a bit of digging and some of my feelings/actions sound like hypomania as well so maybe i ve got tht 2.

ed
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
Wassup Ed? I'm here if you want to chat.
 
E

Ed19

Active member
Joined
Oct 9, 2009
Messages
34
Location
London
I just dont no how much longer i can cope like this. sometimes i just want to die then an hour later im fine none of my friends seem to understand how i feel or y i feel like that. they dont see self harming as a method of coping but as a extra problem. I just want it to all be over.

Ed

Thanks by the way trombone babe
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
I can understand how you feel, although Ive never self harmed myself. But I do get times when Id rather not be alive anymore. Not so much a wish to die but a wish to be out of the depressive state when nothing else seems to work. There's just too much pain. I've been close to attempting suicide a couple of times, but now am at the stage where I would never do it because of my hubby and my 2 boys, both around your age.

I think you need something to distract you from both your low feelings and the need to self harm. Anything you enjoy doing spring to mind? Can be anything, doesn't have to be something you go out for.
 
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