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SilentTears

SilentTears

Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2009
Messages
12
Location
North East
Hey...

So, a bit about me and why I've joined this forum. I'm 21, and have been diagnosed with depression for quite a few years now. I've been self-harming on and off since I was about 14, have also had problems with eating disorders since about that age (overeating, bullemia, anorexia etc).

I had been doing really well, starting to get my life back on track - been accepted into univeristy, starting in October.

But found all those old negative feelings just came rushing back. Always seems to be the way, when things are going good, I just... can't accept it. I don't know why.

But anyway. I cut myself today. Instead of keeping it to myself, figured I'd join a forum, talk to people that understand instead of saying "next time, just don't cut, what's the big deal?"

So yeh, hi!
 
C

confusedwings

Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2009
Messages
6
Location
Westborough, MA
Hello!

I'm always here to talk if you need someone. I cut too. If you need support, please PM me! Welcome to the forum.
 
Rorschach

Rorschach

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2007
Messages
1,149
Location
W2
Hi there...great to hear you're going to school. Make sure you go and see the disability team!!!! Have you applied for DSA??? I've just finished 6 years of study, and it wasn't always easy...support can help you if you should need extensions etc (not that you will!!). What's your subject???
 
rollinat

rollinat

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
1,816
:welcome: to the forum - glad you found it. Take care.

Rollinat :hug:
 
tjo73

tjo73

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 24, 2009
Messages
82
Location
Plymouth, Devon
hi SilentTears and :welcome: to the forum

Great news that you are going to uni. I understand the feelings you are having as when I started uni I felt the same way, I felt that I didn't deserve to be there, that I was not good enough to be there. But I stuck with it and came out with a BSc after 7 years of sheer bloody mindedness and hard work. You are good enough and you do deserve it as you have obviously worked hard to get there. My advice would be to make you get a good support network in place while there, people who can support you and be there when things don't go so well. I only survived it by having a lecturer who was really understanding and having great friends to help when I was down. I self harm too.

Teresa
 
SilentTears

SilentTears

Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2009
Messages
12
Location
North East
Hey, thanks everyone! :)

Yeh, I went to uni straight after highschool, but things got really bad, was suicidal etc. I ended up dropping out after 2 years. I was lucky enough to get some help though - am now on anti-D's and also see a psychologist once a month and a psychiatrist every three months.

So I've been working hard at trying to beat my depression... But recently have been having quite a few bad days. Guess I have to try and ride them out.

I am looking forward to uni though - and I am registered as a student with a disability. I'll be about an hour away from my family (who have been great helping me) and will be living 10 minutes away from my best friend, so already have a great support system. And after talking with the uni, they have a really good uspport system as well. So I'm really lucky.

Just at the minute am in a bad place, trying to look on the bright side, keep busy, keep active etc. Just feeling... empty and like there's no point to anything at the minute.
 
Rorschach

Rorschach

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2007
Messages
1,149
Location
W2
I also dropped out of uni, partly as a result of my condition, but magnified by problems with dual diagnosis. I eventually went back in 2003 doing a course that followed on to my BSc graduating in 2008 (I did the bachelor's in 4 years part time). I actually found that having a more rigid schedule helped me, I was also working part time. People couldn't believe I could hold it all down (just), but you know having less space for 'free time' really helped me. Perhaps find something you could get your teeth into (society wise) during freshers?
 
SilentTears

SilentTears

Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2009
Messages
12
Location
North East
Yeh, think that's where I went wrong the first time around - just had too much time to myself, to sit and just focus on all the bad things.
Am planning on joining a few societies, as well as take up a martial art (useful to have, plus a bit of exercise to hopefully get those endorphines going).
And that's congrats on getting your degree, makes me feel like maybe I can do it as well :)
 
Rorschach

Rorschach

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2007
Messages
1,149
Location
W2
And that's congrats on getting your degree, makes me feel like maybe I can do it as well :)
I'm sure you will!!! Not sure what subject you're doing, but if it has anything to do with my degrees (BSc Anthropology with pathways in Neurobiology, Social Psychology, Epidemiology, and an MSc Medical Anthropology), I'd be happy to give you any input I could, i.e. reading coursework you're not happy with or have a block with.
 
SilentTears

SilentTears

Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2009
Messages
12
Location
North East
Thank you so much!! Would definitely appreciate that - am gonna be studying psychology, so social psychology will definitely be one of the modules.
And that sounds like an awesome degree you did, wow!
 
Rorschach

Rorschach

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2007
Messages
1,149
Location
W2
Thank you so much!! Would definitely appreciate that - am gonna be studying psychology, so social psychology will definitely be one of the modules.
And that sounds like an awesome degree you did, wow!
It was, and the institution I did it at was brilliant too. Feel free to PM anytime, and if you feel that you want a chat while you're at college, we could swap MSN details. MHF doesn't have a chat facility. Will you have wireless/wired connection in your room???
 
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