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Lionheart

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
305
Location
Haslingden, Rossendale, Lancashire.
I need help, I don't know if I have a kind of psychosis because I am struggling to control my thoughts and they are nasty thoughts about hurting and killing people. I am getting sexual thoughts too, even about children, this is driving me crazy. I started to think I was possessed or that mybe I am just evil but I just want to live a normal life:cry:. I have come to the end of the road now and I am contemplating suicide because of my feelings and thoughts. Can anyone help?
 
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Dollit

Guest
Are you under the care of a psych and if you are have you talked to them about this? It's important that you share these thoughts with someone in a private setting. If you're not in the MH system talk to the Samaritans in confidence.
 
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Lionheart

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
305
Location
Haslingden, Rossendale, Lancashire.
I do have a psychiatrist and a care worker but I am worried that if I tell them they might just lock me up and they would call label me as insane. I am so worried what they will think of me. :(.
All I have told them is that I am really depressed but this is the reason why, I looked at the situation as if I was in their shoes 'what would I do?', I was so scared of even posting it on this website. I am still not sure I have done the right thing.
 
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Apotheosis

Guest
Hello Lion Heart,

It is a brave thing of you to post what you have on the site, to have taken a risk & to have shared how you are feeling.

There is much I have been unable to share myself with psychiatrists & Mental Health care workers. They hardly make you feel relaxed or like you are in a safe environment. It is perfectly understandable, in my view & experience; to be wary of them & of the potential actions they can take. I have personal bad experiences of being honest with a psychiatrist.

I am lucky in that I have people in my life who I can share my thoughts with & discuss things which are sometimes hard to talk about. For a long time I thought I was totally alone in my experience of mental illness; when I did start opening up to people I realised I was not so different to some people & many people could relate.

Thoughts are thoughts, they only have the power which you give to them. I know some thoughts are very hard & not nice, but it is possible to take the power away from them. Talking about them works, & I have found certain mediation techniques helpful. Even sitting quietly, by the sea, or somewhere peaceful, & trying relaxation techniques.

It is important to remember that there is a massive difference between thinking bad thoughts & acting on them. Or planning bad things. Thoughts are not crimes. Posting what you have shows insight & rationality into your mental state. You are not evil. Hang in there & I'm sure things will improve.

As Dollit says "It's important that you share these thoughts with someone in a private setting". Try the Samaritans. Is there anyone you trust in your life you could chat to?
 
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Dollit

Guest
Can I also say Lionheart that we all sometimes have thoughts that aren't necessarily appropriate but we wouldn't necessarily act upon them. Someone just doesn't go from being a normal person to a rapist or a murderer, there are steps that they go through, it's a process. Please ring the Samaritans or someone else that you can talk to in real time and anonymously. Do this for your sanity please. :hug:
 
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maudikie

Guest
To Lionheart.

I am pleased to hear that you have a psychiatrist, but sorry to think that you are not able to share your thoughts with him/her.
Remeber that they are bound to secrecy in thier communications with their patients, so if you tell them your thoughts they do not pass them on. It is important that you share them with someone. Dollit has given you good advice, and it is good that you have joined this forum. Find yourself some good activity which will physically tire you, then you won't think so much. If you watch T.V. look at the nice programmes, such as the wildlife, and remember that music is a great relaxant- not the bumpy bumpy sort, but some of the more classical things. If you had bad experiences yourself as a child, then tell someone. And please keep in contact with the mental health Services and with us.

Quote.
A :tea:trouble shared is a trouble halved.
 
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Dollit

Guest
Actually Maudikie if a psychiatrist hears something in a session with another patient that gives them concern that someone else could be harmed they are duty bound to report the manner appropriately. The patient/doctor confidentiality is not the same as in the confessional box. Having said that no doctor or psychiatrist would betray a confidence without good reason.
 
singingdollydaydream

singingdollydaydream

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 28, 2008
Messages
156
Location
horley
Actually Maudikie if a psychiatrist hears something in a session with another patient that gives them concern that someone else could be harmed they are duty bound to report the manner appropriately. The
I am pleased you have pointed this out Dollit, I am always careful how much I say about my niece in case they contact social services. It`s tough though cos sometimes this issue in my life is the one that upsets me most day to day.

Lionheart, you have been given good advice already, but I wish you strength to deal with this. You are brave to tell it at all. :flowers:
 
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Lionheart

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
305
Location
Haslingden, Rossendale, Lancashire.
Thankyou all

I really appreciate the good advice u all have given me and I have taken it all in. I did see a psychologist today and I told her everything and somethings I wish I diden't, now thinking about it, but at the time I thought I needed to tell someone. I hope the lady dosen't think I am a danger and my life get's taken away. I am living quite independantly in a nice flat and I have just recently got a girlfriend, all that could be taken away with one word to someone, I am really scared now.
I don't enjoy the thoughts but I did when I was at school and I think I shoulden't have told this. I never have acted on them ever. But they are really strong thoughts:unsure:.
I will try phoning the samaritans, thanks again people, c-ya.
 
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Dollit

Guest
She will not be dashing round to see the feds just because you've talked about feelings. A large percentage of the people who have been abused as children have feelings that they may harm children - it's rarely acted out. The psychologist will act wisely. You've done a good thing for yourself and I'm pleased that you've been able to unburden yourself. :)
 
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maudikie

Guest
To Dollit.

I agree with you about th psychiatrist and info. but in such a case they would surely section the person - if there was a bed available! Too many have closed. I hope i haven't given misleading info.
 
yodel

yodel

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 7, 2008
Messages
126
Location
South Yorkshire
Hi Lionheart :clap:

well done for discussing these issues with your psychologist. I dont want to make light of your situation so please dont take this the wrong way but any psychiatrist or worker worth their salt would not be shocked by your revelations, it is what they have heard before on many occasions and they should listen and help you in any way they can not necessarily sectioning but more about a change in meds or looking at coping strategies. They might want to see you more often as well.

Good Luck

yodel :)
 
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Dollit

Guest
Maudikie - every single person is judged on the merits of their case. Sectioning is not automatic and a person with feelings or fear of feelings isn't necessarily a threat to themselves or others. You cannot criminalise people for having thoughts. That sort of knee jerk reaction to a problem is distinctly unhelpful.

Yodel - good point, I've yet to meet a psychologist or a psychiatrist who has been shocked by anything I've said.

Keep going back Lionheart and get well. :)
 
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