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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

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Whatdoido

New member
Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
3
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New Zealand
Hi I’ve been struggling with SH for almost a year now.mainly (mainly cause by everything that happened during lockdown) but basically I though I finally found a person that supported me and helped me. But today completely destroyed me when she came in with a couple shallow injuries on her arms and when I questioned her about it she said “it’a only because you told me how u self harm” and blamed it on me saying that it’s because of me
I’ve lost so many friends over the last yr
and a tone of family problems
I have so many scars on my thighs and arms to even count and am stressing out about summer
(Sorry if I’m bothering yall I just need some where to rant cuz I don’t think I can take much more) what should I do?
 
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2Much2Feel

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Apr 24, 2021
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Location
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Hey, Whatdoido, and welcome to the forum. Do you know any DBT skills to help bring down the intensity of what you're feeling right now? I have self-harmed for decades, my arms look like maps. Anyway, finally stopped about 1.5 yrs ago since I finally told my son about it and worried he'd see if if I did it again, now that he knows. DBT skills can be really helpful to get you through these really hard moments. You don't have to self harm. I regret it every single day. Please don't resort to that, you can get through it w skills and won't then live w the regret that comes right after. And stays, w the scars. Also, not sure if you've been in this position, but it can get really out of hand in a split second and then you're either lucky like I was or you aren't. Please continue to reach out here. Do you have access to professional DBT help? Can you go on YouTube and look at some DBT skills?
 
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2Much2Feel

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Quickest DBT for me when I get like that is the deep breathe thru nose and hold for 8 seconds, exhale for twice as long. Get your mind off of the situation that is causing you such intensity (the girl--who, btw, chose to do this to herself just as you would be choosing to do this to yourself, not your fault she did it. But for you, know that just b/c you've coped this way in the past, doesn't mean it's inevitable or you have no choice. You.

Distract w a funny TV show. Uplifting music. Go on YouTube and look at DBT.
 
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2Much2Feel

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You *do* have the choice, is what I meant to say.
 
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Whatdoido

New member
Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
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Location
New Zealand
Yeah I’ve watched a couple videos and read some articles on this, and also other coping mechanisms but it just hasn’t worked.
 
2

2Much2Feel

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Apr 24, 2021
Messages
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Location
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Yeah I’ve watched a couple videos and read some articles on this, and also other coping mechanisms but it just hasn’t worked.
Shoot. It sounds like you really need to reach out to either someone supportive like family member or friend, and call a hotline or get in right away. I don't know what your situation is, but can you contact someone who is supportive and do you have access to a therapist?
 
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Whatdoido

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Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
3
Location
New Zealand
Unfortunately no, but I’m working up the courage to tell my family since this so called “friend” of mine is threatening to tell others
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Forum Guide
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Messages
7,217
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England
It sounds like your friend couldn't cope with being a carer and has her own mental health problems.

It is better to talk to professionals sometimes as they have their own support too or are part of a team.

I can't cope with the pressure of others problems in addition to my own.

Scars must be difficult to hide but so many have them. I have seen a few people about as well as a girl who clearly has anorexia. I just think poor girl she has had some tough times probably.
 
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2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,196
Location
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Unfortunately no, but I’m working up the courage to tell my family since this so called “friend” of mine is threatening to tell others
OK, good. It is like the hardest thing to bring up to them, but good to be open at the same time, and I hope they are supportive. There are always going to be people out there like that, and best she showed you her true colours sooner rather than later, I suppose, so you don't spend any more time on her. In any case, it's a hard time, and I'm sorry. Those kinds of relationships just seem to continue the issue, the volatile ones. Hang in there, and do open up to someone. There may be stuff online that could give you advice on how to tell family, but you likely know them best. Will be thinking of you.
 
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