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Skyespirit86

New member
Joined
Dec 10, 2008
Messages
3
Location
Camborne & Newquay, Cornwall
My name's Holly, I'm 22. I come from Cornwall, UK. I am enrolled on a college course in another town but anxiety problems are making it impossible for me to attend or stay in my rented flat for any longer than a week really. I am home now after I got really bad. I have derealisation, panic attacks and a low level of psychosis...well, sometimes I can get pretty weird beliefs but I think its made so bad because of the derealisation which makes me feel spacey. I am not able to travel without panic attacks. My head just feels like its being crushed, like its dying and can't think or remember stuff anymore. I'm scared 24/7. The doctors have never taken me seriouisly despite having a psychotic breakdown before, and attemting suicide because of the strange beliefs I had (I do not want to die, in fact I am phobic of it), but they let me go. After recent trobubles they gave me some diazepam. I'm totally isolated socially really, and really depressed and lonely. I don't mix well, was diagnosed with social phobia which I've had all my life, and I'm gay so finding a partner is harder.
However I recently went to MIND who contacted the surgery and got me some better help, they then prescribed me risperidone, the antipsychotic. It's made me feel so sleepy though that it frightened me and made the psychosis worse!
I am in a fix with college since I need to get something called extenuating circumstances so I can miss deadlines. My urgery wouldn't issue a doctor's note as they apparentlywon't do that there nymore. I am hoping the new doctor I saw the other day might do it for me though. I have to have proof by Friday otherwise I will be faile on all my modules and all the stress I have been through the last few months will have been for nothing. I also cannot work and have had no income since September. I had a medical for Income support and they failed me, I appealed but they stll failed me. I tried working part time in a hotel, as well as go college but couldn't cope, the derealisation and psychosis was too bad so I quit and I am still chasing up the £90 I earnt because the hotel probably hate me for walking out on them. I ony have enough student loan left for this month's rent then I am broke, with no money for xmas prezzies or anything else. I have no clothes left, both trousers I had have now got holes, and only have one pair of croc sandles which are worn out. Seriously its all I have and I look like a right muppet.
I am in the process of applying for DLA but the form is huge and is taking a while, I once had it before, but am a bit afraid my application won't be successful because of the trouble I have had with doctors etc, the failed IS medical, and because on the news it said they are 'cracking down' on people who are claiming benefits. I am not just lazy though, I'm going through hell, I'm frightened of everything all the time and even if I am ok-ish some of the time does not mean I am capable of committing to any kind of job, even part time. I've tried it, and it caused me so much stress. :cry:
 
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Twylight

Guest
Hello Skyespirit amd welcome

it would be good if you saw your new Doctor and have him arrange for you to see a CPN -Community Psychiatric Nurse - the CPN could help you with the DLA form
 
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Skyespirit86

New member
Joined
Dec 10, 2008
Messages
3
Location
Camborne & Newquay, Cornwall
The first doctor I saw referred to the team but said I might not get one. She didn't realise how bad I was- as many people have relayed, its not unless you're kicking and screaming that people do anything. I was going through inner torture I wouldn't dream of inflicting on my worst enemy if it were possible. Yet all they can see is you jiggling and looking a bit flushed. She just gave me diazepam and said no to the doctor's note. That breakdown was possibly the worst breakdown I have experienced. I am terrified of reliving it. Anyway, the new doctor apparently sent another note to the psychiatric team to hopefully hurry up my application a bit.
 
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Twylight

Guest
I tried Respiridone and it made me worse - my mind was linked into the radio and TV - it was beyond terrifying
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,719
Location
Yorkshire
Hello Skyspirit and welcome to the forum.

I know DLA is a pain of a form to fill in - you could try ringing your local branch of mind and seeing if there are any local organisations that can help you to fill it in. CPN is also a good alternative. I had help and they thought that I would get the lower rate but ended up getting nothing (I blame my psych for that!).

Good luck getting the help that you need and keep in touch!

Honey
 
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Dollit

Guest
i Skyspirit - do go to MIND and ask them for help with the form. Also they provide an advocacy service, they could help with other things. And MIND is staffed by people with people with mental health problems so they do know what is going on in your head.

And keep coming here - you'll get lots of moral support here.
 
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