Hi

J

Jamster

Guest
#1
Hi I'm James I live in London I've just moved here from further south. I'm 29.

I have had mh issues since mid-late teens, grew up with an abusive mother which I see as having a large bearing on how things turned out. I've been in hospital three times manic-paranoid (following threatening events) but although I've been prescribed drugs for years I don't see them as ever having helped but instead they have worsened things and given me a lot of problems with weight gain. Between these times I have been almost constantly depressed, although starting this year I haven't been so low any more.

I never had problems with being overweight before taking any of these drugs but after constantly struggled, gained 45 kg the first round, then 30kg, then about 15. This year I was in hospital from March to early June and was sectioned (the first two times I was voluntary) so had to take the drugs otherwise I would have this time. 18 months ago I lost a relationship partly or mainly because of the weight gain from the drugs. I lost all confidence looking fat so refused to meet my girlfriend's friends or party with her, and this was the main reason she broke up with me. When she saw me after I lost all the 30kg weight again she looked at me differently again but by then the damage was done.

It also affects my job prospects, I trained as a personal trainer last year when I lost weight, but will not apply for work when I look overweight, I refused a job interview before as I was overweight while taking drugs looking slightly overweight and struggling with my eating. Now after the last 2 stone weight gain I'm stuck overweight, though I'm stable in weight I look too big to apply for gym work though there is much more opportunity in london where I am now.

I am very angry about this weight gain, the rest of the mental health system is just disappointing (enough that I want nothing to do with them again) but years of weight gain has badly affected what were supposed to be some of the best years of my life, all without any warning or concern when I became obese. Indeed it was never discussed, just accepted as what happens while you need to be on these amazing drugs, never once did they raise the idea of changing when I gained weight, or even want to discuss it. One GP had a disgusting attitude saying something along the lines of 'are you blaming the quetiapine for your weight gain' as if it had nothing to do with it - my blood is boiling thinking about it now.

I need to find the motivation to lose the weight which I've done a few times before, but I am too isolated and unoccupied now. I find isolation and loneliness the worst aspects of what I've had to deal with, but I hope that I can change my situation now I'm in London. I have had a look at meetup.com and there are so many groups in London whereas next to nothign where I was, meeting new people to make friends is part of the reason I've come to London the other reason is work and to experience new things. There are quite a few volunteer oppportunities near me that I'm interested in as a stepping stone back to work and to occupy my time and meet new people. I will let you know how that goes
 
angiebib1976

angiebib1976

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 1, 2011
Messages
3,122
Location
derby
#2
:hi: welcome to the forum.

Hope you find some support here.

Take Care

Angie
 
M

mydumbname

Well-known member
Joined
May 2, 2011
Messages
4,521
Location
London
#3
Hi Jamster

Welcome to the forum mate! Keep posting and you'll find some great support here :)

Also it may help to write things down so if you want to you could start a Journal in the Journals section

Again welcome to the forum!
 
B

bebe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 4, 2008
Messages
287
#4
Hi,
Push yourself to get out there and see whats about,
Good to read your post