nice to meet you,, id like someone to talk to. i have no one to talk to about things like this, and it would be nice if u can listen to me. i am 24, with anxiety and depression that ive had for the majority of my life. id like to know if there is a mental disorder i might have been born with that has made me and kept me this way. because i cant speak to people comfortably in person, it even took me a while to get used to talking online too.( i, may not word things in a way that makes sense, im sorry for that.) i have ,not wanted to live, for a very long time,, but it was only around summer of last year that i attempted anything, it was pathetic though because the pills i had taken wouldnt do anything like i had wanted them to. . . i do not feel like a person, or,, at least not a normal one. and i have almost completely given up on being a normal one. but i dont want to be a burden to anyone, especially not my family anymore. yet, i keep doing, seeing, and thinking bad things that hurt me alot,, ive kept these things to myself though, and ive felt like,, im losing my mind. i do not know whats wrong with me, but as im getting older, and staying the same,, i feel like im losing control of myself. id really like help on if this is a disorder or not. because i want to control it,before it makes me lose my mind.