• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Hi there!

Rasmusgirl

Rasmusgirl

Member
Joined
May 27, 2010
Messages
6
Location
Stoke
Hi. Im new to the forum and Im hoping this will be a good place for support as I feel very isolated right now.
For the last two years I cared for my Dad in our home- he had Alzheimers Disease- until he sadly passed away here at home on January the 5th this year. Two weeks after his death I found myself becoming the carer to my mother-in-law, as she has been suffering from several mental health issues and had deteriorated very badly. She was no longer safe on her own, so she has come to live with us now.
I am finding this very hard. My feelings are in chaos, and i feel very alone.
I used to be a member on another forum for carers of people with dementia, and found it a wonderful help, but I dont seem to be able to talk there any more, perhaps because dementia is no longer part of my life, (for now at least!).
Now I am facing a whole new set of challenges, and I want to do the best for my MIL and family.
Anyway, thats me!:p Im looking forward to tallking to some of you about what we are all going through. x
 
Rasmusgirl

Rasmusgirl

Member
Joined
May 27, 2010
Messages
6
Location
Stoke
Each day is different

My MIL has no formal diagnosis as yet, well not a recent one anyway. A Dr thought she had Bi Polar Disorder a few years ago, but the trouble is, her treatment (of anti-depressants) was never followed up, and of course, she simply stopped taking her meds. She is very different now to how she was then, with alot more paranoia. She cant leave the house, she doesnt eat properly, she has no idea of social boundaries etc.
We pretty much dragged her to the GP a couple of months ago, and he did some blood tests. Her liver function tests came back very elevated, but she doesnt drink alcohol at all, so the GP is more concerned with that. He has made a Psch referral but it will take up to three months. But shes refusing to go to any more appointments or for any more tests, and her behaviour is becoming harder to cope with by the day.
I have three children (15months, 12yrs and 17yrs) and Im very worried about the effets this is having on them. So in desperation I contacted our local mental Health Centre a few days ago and they have been very good so far. A CPN came to see MIL on Tuesday and assessed her. She will no refer mum to see a Doc asap. She was quite shocked at how mum was, compared with her few old notes which simply state she is depressed.
We are supposed to be moving house in about three or four months, to a different County. A support package will be set up for MIL here in her own home, but I feel so bad about it. She was going to come with us when we moved, but we really arent coping well, and I dont think I am doing her any favours taking away her independence. I wish she could talk to others who suffer like her and see that she can still have a life. Shes only 53 and has cut herself off from all her friends, her other son and his family, her boyfriend, and her brothers and parents.
Even though her symptoms infuriate me, I feel so sad for her, and pretty useless. I also feel very frustrated because my life is still on hold whilst I care for her.
That sounds ever so selfish, but its the truth.
I want to enjoy my time with my little one, I wnt to go back to work, I want to have a holiday and see my friends, I want to spend to time with just my hubby. MIL is stopping all that right now.
I guess I just have to be patient.
Does anyone else have experience of the things I am going through now? How do you cope? How do you protect your children? I would love to hear about it.
 
B

Blondie

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
396
Location
Lancashire
Welcome hun.My 17 year old daughter had juvenile huntingtons disease(see justgiving page).I am her carer now to.I would stay on the dementia forum as your experiences would be of great help to someone who is starting the journey.I am in touch with mothers who have already lost there daughters to JHD and they help me greatly.Some days you think you are going insane to!!!As for now caring for your MIL,your feelings are normal.Of course you want a life now after your father.You probably need to speak to your husband and get him to explain all this to his family.It sounds like there are enough of them to pull their weight!!!!Don't feel guilty,your husband should understand this afterall you have been through with your own father.I wish you well love.xx
 
Top