A
arty88
Well-known member
Hi Everyone,
About me - I'm a technical / IT person, though not currently working due to various reasons, mostly Covid-19 related (difficult to find a job at this time) and also some personal problems. I live in SW London and I'm 32.
Throughout my youth, up to around 19/20, I was an avid cannabis smoker, quite paranoid at times (especially while smoking cannabis) and dabbled with other drugs. I partied a lot i.e. going to lots of house parties, drinking out in pubs a lot and so on.
My first problems with mental health were having a lot of anxious feelings in my teens, being bullied, getting paranoid about others (fearing the worst - sometimes that people wanted to kill me) etc - I was quite a paranoid person.
At University (which I graduated with a good grade), I became very depressive and paranoid in the latter parts of my first and start of second years. I sought counselling and figured I was just depressed and a little paranoid / socially anxious.
I dabbled with a lot of hallucinogenic drugs at University - like 2CE, LSD, DMT etc - it was a sort of exploration for me and my friends, and I don't blame my use on my later problems, but it certainly didn't help.
In my last year of Uni I became very delusional, locking myself away in my room. I thought cameras were installed by my fellow housemates / room mates in the walls of my room. I thought people were using drones to monitor me. Strangely, this dissipated on it's own (these delusions). No hallucinations were involved, as far as I can remember. I do recall taking large doses of Fish Oils (Omega 3, 6, 9), running a lot and eating well and sleeping more. That seemed to 'do the trick' for the psychotic like experience i had there.
A few years after Uni and that experience, I had many problems with alcohol abuse and dabbled a little with cannabis. I was working on and off in various office roles, went to law school and there I abused smart drugs a lot to keep up with competitors - mostly modafinil and piracetam.
I became delusional again - thinking the lecturers were part of a spy organisation, and were monitoring me etc. I dropped out of law school, became unemployed and then abused the smart drugs a lot while I tried to 're-study' law on my own back.
My first major experience of psychosis started there. I was taking very high doses of modafinil and piracetam and not sleeping for days. At its extreme, I thought snipers were trying to kill me from my bedroom window. That everything was tapped, or monitored. That the TV was talking to me (e.g. Pres Obama at the time spoke to me directly on BBC news?). I tried to take my own life, thinking I'd started a third world war and took a large overdose, which fortunately had little effect.
I was sectioned under section 2 MHA, spent 2 weeks on an acute psych ward in SW London and was put on Risperidone. It worked - I became totally normal within a couple of weeks (well, as normal as I was) - groomed well, didn't believe in large part the conspiracies and delusions anymore and so on.
I was admitted to the Early Intervention Service and was monitored under them for 3 years. I took Risperidone initially, then came off it on my own accord (although I told the psychiatrist what I was doing and he supported me). I then had some problems at work - i.e. a showdown with me and them via email with a lot of unhinged emails from me, but no 'delusions' per say, just lots of angst and a bit of a meltdown emotionally. My doctor put me on Aripiprazole and later combined it with a low dose of Citalopram.
I've taken Aripiprazole from 5 - 17.5mg but now I remain on 10mg daily. I take it with 10mg Citalopram.
I've tried various treatments - Mirtazapine, Citalopram, Fluoxetine, Risperidone etc - and the above is the best treatment I think for me.
Recently, I tried to come off Aripiprazole. I did this abruptly - while giving up smoking (and taking Champix too) - and I just became very very anxious, a little paranoid and my head was flooded with thoughts. So I went back on it.
I'm 32 now, I started my journey as above properly at 23 with a full blown psychosis and hospital experience. So that's 9 years now.
I have to say to anyone reading this who has experienced similar things and is early on in their journey - it's not the end of the world. Psychosis or Mania is probably as bad as mental health problems sound, but they can be managed and treated very well.
The most important aspect is complying with treatment, embracing it and not building an 'me versus them' mentality with the team treating you. Work with them, get the most out of them, and always communicate when you need help. For example, I am fine I'd say 90% of the time with just my medication and my social circle / friends for support, but at that 10% point, i.e. if I start feeling suicidal / thinking very negatively, or start getting paranoid or thinking strange things, I reach out ASAP to the mental health team.
My diagnoses (if anyone is interested) are:
- Drug induced Psychosis (though my psychiatrist suspects I may have an underlying psychotic disorder e.g. Schizophrenia / Bipolar).
- Mild Depression
- Harmful alcohol use
On the last point - alcohol and substances, I hate to say, are a very common issue with people with psychosis. It's very common, myself included (very much so!).
I no longer abuse illegal street drugs, though I have dabbled A LOT in the past. I do drink alcohol and recently had a serious issue with alcohol abuse....and I got treatment again via my psychiatrist who prescribed Naltrexone, which I now take everytime I drink. It helps enormously! I can now have a drink or two without drinking 10 beers in a sitting. I can just have the one or two, as the medicine helps you control it greatly.
So to anyone out there. Hi - I just thought I'd join this forum and contribute my experience.
Feel free to let me know what you think. I'm always happy to answer questions about my journey, and I'm here to learn about yours too. I'd like to support everyone I can, and give advice (where appropriate).
Thanks!
About me - I'm a technical / IT person, though not currently working due to various reasons, mostly Covid-19 related (difficult to find a job at this time) and also some personal problems. I live in SW London and I'm 32.
Throughout my youth, up to around 19/20, I was an avid cannabis smoker, quite paranoid at times (especially while smoking cannabis) and dabbled with other drugs. I partied a lot i.e. going to lots of house parties, drinking out in pubs a lot and so on.
My first problems with mental health were having a lot of anxious feelings in my teens, being bullied, getting paranoid about others (fearing the worst - sometimes that people wanted to kill me) etc - I was quite a paranoid person.
At University (which I graduated with a good grade), I became very depressive and paranoid in the latter parts of my first and start of second years. I sought counselling and figured I was just depressed and a little paranoid / socially anxious.
I dabbled with a lot of hallucinogenic drugs at University - like 2CE, LSD, DMT etc - it was a sort of exploration for me and my friends, and I don't blame my use on my later problems, but it certainly didn't help.
In my last year of Uni I became very delusional, locking myself away in my room. I thought cameras were installed by my fellow housemates / room mates in the walls of my room. I thought people were using drones to monitor me. Strangely, this dissipated on it's own (these delusions). No hallucinations were involved, as far as I can remember. I do recall taking large doses of Fish Oils (Omega 3, 6, 9), running a lot and eating well and sleeping more. That seemed to 'do the trick' for the psychotic like experience i had there.
A few years after Uni and that experience, I had many problems with alcohol abuse and dabbled a little with cannabis. I was working on and off in various office roles, went to law school and there I abused smart drugs a lot to keep up with competitors - mostly modafinil and piracetam.
I became delusional again - thinking the lecturers were part of a spy organisation, and were monitoring me etc. I dropped out of law school, became unemployed and then abused the smart drugs a lot while I tried to 're-study' law on my own back.
My first major experience of psychosis started there. I was taking very high doses of modafinil and piracetam and not sleeping for days. At its extreme, I thought snipers were trying to kill me from my bedroom window. That everything was tapped, or monitored. That the TV was talking to me (e.g. Pres Obama at the time spoke to me directly on BBC news?). I tried to take my own life, thinking I'd started a third world war and took a large overdose, which fortunately had little effect.
I was sectioned under section 2 MHA, spent 2 weeks on an acute psych ward in SW London and was put on Risperidone. It worked - I became totally normal within a couple of weeks (well, as normal as I was) - groomed well, didn't believe in large part the conspiracies and delusions anymore and so on.
I was admitted to the Early Intervention Service and was monitored under them for 3 years. I took Risperidone initially, then came off it on my own accord (although I told the psychiatrist what I was doing and he supported me). I then had some problems at work - i.e. a showdown with me and them via email with a lot of unhinged emails from me, but no 'delusions' per say, just lots of angst and a bit of a meltdown emotionally. My doctor put me on Aripiprazole and later combined it with a low dose of Citalopram.
I've taken Aripiprazole from 5 - 17.5mg but now I remain on 10mg daily. I take it with 10mg Citalopram.
I've tried various treatments - Mirtazapine, Citalopram, Fluoxetine, Risperidone etc - and the above is the best treatment I think for me.
Recently, I tried to come off Aripiprazole. I did this abruptly - while giving up smoking (and taking Champix too) - and I just became very very anxious, a little paranoid and my head was flooded with thoughts. So I went back on it.
I'm 32 now, I started my journey as above properly at 23 with a full blown psychosis and hospital experience. So that's 9 years now.
I have to say to anyone reading this who has experienced similar things and is early on in their journey - it's not the end of the world. Psychosis or Mania is probably as bad as mental health problems sound, but they can be managed and treated very well.
The most important aspect is complying with treatment, embracing it and not building an 'me versus them' mentality with the team treating you. Work with them, get the most out of them, and always communicate when you need help. For example, I am fine I'd say 90% of the time with just my medication and my social circle / friends for support, but at that 10% point, i.e. if I start feeling suicidal / thinking very negatively, or start getting paranoid or thinking strange things, I reach out ASAP to the mental health team.
My diagnoses (if anyone is interested) are:
- Drug induced Psychosis (though my psychiatrist suspects I may have an underlying psychotic disorder e.g. Schizophrenia / Bipolar).
- Mild Depression
- Harmful alcohol use
On the last point - alcohol and substances, I hate to say, are a very common issue with people with psychosis. It's very common, myself included (very much so!).
I no longer abuse illegal street drugs, though I have dabbled A LOT in the past. I do drink alcohol and recently had a serious issue with alcohol abuse....and I got treatment again via my psychiatrist who prescribed Naltrexone, which I now take everytime I drink. It helps enormously! I can now have a drink or two without drinking 10 beers in a sitting. I can just have the one or two, as the medicine helps you control it greatly.
So to anyone out there. Hi - I just thought I'd join this forum and contribute my experience.
Feel free to let me know what you think. I'm always happy to answer questions about my journey, and I'm here to learn about yours too. I'd like to support everyone I can, and give advice (where appropriate).
Thanks!
