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Hi there im looking for some advice

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Lost1244

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Oct 2, 2020
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Ireland
Hi everyone im new to the forum and would like some advice. I have been struggling with anxiety and depression in the form of knots in my stomach and hopelessness.

What i cannot understand is that i seem to only experience the knots in my stomach when im alone or with my partner and children. When i am with my friends i feel calm. This is making me worried as i love my family and my partner is the most supportive and amazing person.

I have suffered emotional abuse as a child and my therapist says its from past trauma but im just so fed up with this feeling i want to enjoy my family life.

Would anyone have had a similar experience?
 
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Lost1244

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Oct 2, 2020
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Any advice appreciated im scared i cant connect with my family
 
P

Purpleplum

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Maybe when you're with your friends it let's you escape and when you're with your family or being by yourself it brings you back to reality, problems, etc...
 
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Lost1244

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My therapist says that too but i dont know what to do about it, its getting to the point where im thinking of leaving my partner to see if the feeling goes away! Ive started citalopram and the doc gave me xanex to get me through the first week but i even felt anxious after taking xanex


Thanks for your reply
 
albagobragh

albagobragh

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Sounds to me like it would be a mistake to leave your partner. Rather, I'd give the medication time to work and keep talking to the therapist because it sounds like the root of your problem is your past issues.
 
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Lost1244

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Ive been seeing my therapist for 5 weeks so i know it will be a long road but i havent noticed any changes yet as weve talked through past issues.

Ive been with my partner for 12 years and this horrible anxiety keeps creeping up, it used to be only at holidays or christmases when we would spend a lot of time together but its always been there, just that lately it wont go away ive felt it every day for 2months! Im scared that i dont love him but i have no reason not to!

I would do anything to stop feeling this way!

Thank you for your advice 😀
 
one light

one light

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Hi Lost1244 welcome here... I am a Master on Spiritual Forums and believe me if you were meant to leave your partner and to take a different path in life you would 'have known' by now - not by some 'knots in my stomach' - so go give partner a big hug that'll be a good start... I teach self healing energy and the power of the mind locally - I would suggest you set some time aside to look up those keywords ive just stated - maybe change your lifestyle, and if you spend a lot of time online eg facebook, then take a step back... I would also suggest you take 15 mins a day, 'every day' for you 'you time' phone out of the way, kids in another room and deeply relax with a nice drink 'non alcohol' at that time, and say to yourself 'this is my time this next 15 mins' to reboot the system, nice thoughts of past holidays etc etc to calm your mind and body, there's an energy imbalance there somewhere in your body... Good luck, let me know how you get on, and anyone else who follows these simple procedures, nice to hear of good results for all health wise...
 
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Lost1244

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Oct 2, 2020
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Hi onelight,
Thank you so much for your detailed reply. I dont go on social media at all its just not something that interests me!
The thing with thinking back on nice holidays is that they are plagued with this anxious feeling too, all my memories are even dating back to when i first went away with my partner for a weekend when we first got together which is why im having doubts about us. I cant figure out if i love him and i feel like he deserves so much better than someone who doesnt even know if they love him or not
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

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Hi, @Lost1244,

I think you might possibly be drawing the wrong conclusions about when anxiety strikes. In my own experience, bouts of anxiety and panic have manifested symptoms when I've been in a relaxed state...and usually, at home. I think my mind takes the opportunity to throw up past hurt or trauma to deal with as part of its housekeeping.

In my own experience, it has been a case of finding what memories or experiences I have buried and not processed because they were painful. Parenting very often gives me echoes of my own childhood and gives me symptoms of anxiety. Our brain does not differentiate between something happening in the moment or something remembered - a past hurt can cause the same, intense feelings as if it's happening now.

You've described your partner as "amazing and supportive." I think perhaps you should relax into that knowledge and not look at your relationship as the source of your anxiety...your family might be providing the safe conditions for you to heal but you haven't unearthed the underlying issue yet.

It's great that you're having therapy. Going forward, perhaps keep a mood diary and take note what places or discussions make you feel anxious. Christmas was a trigger for me (just the mention of it) and I discovered festive television commercials were enough to make me panic.

Sending lots of love and best wishes x
 
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Lost1244

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Location
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Thank you for your reply,

He is really supportive of how ive been feeling so depressed but im not able to tell him that i only feel this way when i am with him and the kids, it would break his heart like its breaking mine!
I just feel like if i love him why would i be so plagued by doubt!

Weekends are worst for me with no work or distractions! I can barely engage with my kids because of this sick feeling in my stomach. But if i visit my sister or friend the feeling goes away its worrying me to the point of panic
 
one light

one light

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Well I would say get as much help as you need locally and on here to fix this... when I was going through so much stress and depression, and over sensitive hearing issues 5 year ago, and after I was going through something called 'spiritual awakening' I was in a place I know call 'the dark ages' of my life, trying to understand just what to do - and do you know when you find the light and some direction with this, you will be so much stronger and happier... I would say take some time to meditate, we all have Spirit Guides - many times they can be, mums, aunties, granddads who have passed on - when your mind is quiet with deep breaths, 'ask' in thought what am I to do, and talk to them in thought - you won't hear an answer but at some point you 'will know' as in a message coming directly to your mind...

And anyone on here reading, going through extreme difficulties right now - get help - no giving up, or ending it - its not the way - get help now, pick up the phone, learn to fix what's going on - the light here of every day is so beautiful after darkness - and then you'll be 'more' stronger than those who have not had to face any darkness... let me know how you get on 'lost' then your new name will be 'I found my way' to some light and direction - you can do this...... deep breath, and get help when required...
 
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Lost1244

Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Ireland
A kinesiologist balanced my energy 8 weeks ago and put me on a lot of remedies, nothing changed and last week i started meds, i dont know what else to do and feel hopeless.

The only time i feel tranquil is when im reading with my children at night which is great but i find it impossible to get through the day
 
one light

one light

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Messages
959
Location
England - Up North
I would ask for guidance when deeply rested, prayer is powerful I know - I had a stroke within the last year, lost total use of my left arm for 15 mins, shivering all day in bed with my dressing gown on - I was on my mountain bike the next day fully recovered... If you speak to Guides, don't expect an answer within 24 hours, could take weeks or a month, but keep asking/chatting in the early hours 'in your mind', and in the afternoon when having rest time, and an answer will come - early hours do 'single point concentration' that's focus on say a vase of flowers for 10 seconds, then change, do another image, say a family member who makes you happy, hold that thought, hold it, 10 seconds to clear the mind, and compliment yourself, then again for as long as 'you' want, make it fun - this is important to compliment yourself, and when you 'learn' how to be happy again, your energy vibes will be better ...

Could be when you get an answer regarding partner - that it will be stay with your partner but make lifestyle changes...

Anyone can take your money balancing your energy - didn't work did it... learn for yourself 'self healing energy' - good thoughts first thing in the morning, last thing at night is ''so important'' to help balance chakras yourself - 3 good thoughts, that's 'the self' putting the mind in check... start your day with 'good' thoughts, today is going to be a better day, thoughts carry power and energy for good health...
 
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