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Hi, newbie here

Flix91

Flix91

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2014
Messages
4
Hi guys,
i just joined because I'm feeling a bit lost and totally down at the moment.
Lately I've been feeling so much self-loathing, and thoughts of self-harming.

I'm 23, final year at uni…. so I have the stress added on to my low self-esteem and constant worrying.
I used to self harm when I was much younger around 16 as I didn't have a very good childhood, and that was my way of letting it out.. I then stopped when I was around 17, and although I had urges to self harm, I didn't… until about a month ago.
This was when everything got to me… uni, life, not trusting people and just hating myself…
Today I had a really shit day.. On my way home, on the bus, I was crying (discretely of course) just thinking about everything.. and thinking where I want to harm myself next..
Just the thought of it was giving me a bit of relief, and that was making me upset even more..

I'm not very good at conveying fully how I feel… but I appreciate any help from you guys..
thank you
 
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MarlieeB

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Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,043
Hi and :welcome: to the forum.

I'm sorry that you are feeling like you want to self harm again today. I hope you can find a good way to distract yourself. We have a kinda chill out zone here, maybe you could look at them and see whether they distract you a little. (But if you go to the arcade don't beat my Christmas tiles score :p)

Anyway, What has triggered these feelings today? You don't have to say of course but it might be helpful to talk about it maybe?

Hope you will feel better after typing all that out.

Marliee x
 
Flix91

Flix91

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2014
Messages
4
Hi Marliee, thank you for your message…

I had a sh*t day at uni today, and just feel that nothing is going to plan.
One of the bad things that I do is that either I over-analyse EVERYTHING or I blame myself for everything that has gone wrong..
And when that happens, I feel like punishing myself by self harming…
 
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MarlieeB

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Well I hope that you resist punishing yourself. I self harm myself, partly as a relief but I also do it to punish myself sometimes.

I'm the same in a way, I think it's natural with someone with mh issues to, it's part of the depression.

I'm sorry you had a shit day today. Do you think /can you take a day off tomorrow before the weekend?

x

(PS you might find your posts are being slightly edited, your not in trouble it's just that the forum doesn't allow specifics, we have all done it, including myself)
 
H

Helena1

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hello, welcome to the forum. :)

sorry you had a particularly bad day at uni today.
 
Flix91

Flix91

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2014
Messages
4
yeah so far, going on the internet and this forum has helped "delay" what I planned (funnily enough)…
yeah.. do you think I should see my GP about my depression and see what they can offer?
I went sometime last year, and freaked out when he started asking me all these questions, that I thought would lead to prescription of anti-depressants :/

Tomorrow is not so bad - just lecture for 2 hours and thats it!
Need this weekend to recover from a bad day thats turned this week shit.. (sorry for sounding melodramatic)

(and oops.. didn't realise until you pointed it out! will refrain from using certain words in future :p )
 

MarlieeB

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Messages
25,043
Well I hope we can turn the delay into a not do it at all :)

You can go to the GP and ask to be referred to talking therapies if you don't want any medication. It's always worth a try isn't it :)

Has your Uni got any kind of counselling service that you could maybe look up?

x
 
H

Helena1

Well-known member
Staff Member on Leave
Joined
Oct 11, 2014
Messages
10,582
Location
UK
Some places you can self refer yourself to therapy so maybe look that up and it would save you having to go to GP, but getting in contact with your GP about it is good as if it gets worse they will know more about your situation.
You can just say you don't want anti depressants if that is what you want if the GP does offer you them.

As marliee say i would defiantly look into uni counseling as they are usually quicker than NHS.

i would also go see the mental health team at your uni as they could help sign post you to helpful things like free or low cost longer term counseling/ therapy that may be available in your area.
 
Flix91

Flix91

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2014
Messages
4
Well I hope we can turn the delay into a not do it at all :)

You can go to the GP and ask to be referred to talking therapies if you don't want any medication. It's always worth a try isn't it :)

Has your Uni got any kind of counselling service that you could maybe look up?

x
Some places you can self refer yourself to therapy so maybe look that up and it would save you having to go to GP, but getting in contact with your GP about it is good as if it gets worse they will know more about your situation.
You can just say you don't want anti depressants if that is what you want if the GP does offer you them.

As marliee say i would defiantly look into uni counseling as they are usually quicker than NHS.

i would also go see the mental health team at your uni as they could help sign post you to helpful things like free or low cost longer term counseling/ therapy that may be available in your area.
Thanks guys! I really appreciate it…

I did go counselling.. last week was my first appointment I've had..
To be honest with you, I didn't feel comfortable at all..
I felt stupid that I even made an appointment, and like it was all in my head.. thats how she made me feel :/

But I will look into a mental health team at uni.. don't know if they have that service though
 
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