Hi. Thank you for all the welcome's. Not sure where to post this. I am to ashamed to go see a therapist at this stage and not sure if I have a serious issue or just a compulsive liar. I create fictional characters based on real people lives and then they "die" and I mourn their death for months, even years. And if I say mourn, I cry about "them" every night. I will tell this fiction to only a selection of people. I told my boss about one particular "character" that "died" 2 years ago, a co-worker informed my boss yesterday it was a lie and I am now suspended for not being trustworthy.
Death played a major role in my life, lost my best friend at 10 years, my grandfather passed away in my arms, a stillborn baby and a child in foster care with us for 4 years that just one day went "back" to his mother that got out of rehab.
Why do I create constant pain for myself? Just feel so lost. My work was my purpose and that is now gone too.
Please don't feel ashamed to go to a therapist.. It's what they are there for.. To help with a problem, issue or difficulty, discuss it, help to find a way of dealing with it etc.. Really, they will have heard of so many different situations, nothing will shock.. You will not be judged or ridiculed.. There is obviously a deep seated reason why you have this issue so it would really be a good idea to talk to someone about it..
There are many people who create fantasy worlds as a means of escape. It becomes a survival mechanism because the present world is too over whelming for what ever reason.. You are not alone in this..
On the practical side, to find the reason behind your situation, might well help when it comes to talking to your boss..
I hope you find help and can begin to understand what is happening..