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Hi, new member here in a dark place...

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Poregon

Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2020
Messages
9
Location
High Wycombe
Hi, I've never been on a forum before and I'd thought I would give it a try....I suffered a huge bipolar breakdown about 11 months ago and have not been the same since....I did things which I would not normally do during the manic phase and l ended up in prison for a short time .I came back out and had another manic phase which lasted for 4 MTHS....I now have crippling depression and anxiety which means I find it hard to get up and do stuff and haven't worked for a year.....it's so tough at the moment,I am on anti depressants which don't seem to help and am waiting on some diazepam which have pulled me through other breakdowns.....it so difficult seeing yourself lose all the fight within but that's how I feel.....are there any members who have suffered with extreme bipolar depression ??​
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
7,380
Location
Norway
Hi Poregon welcome to the forum :welcome:

I've been bipolar since my teens but didn't get diagnosed until i was in my early twenties. I've had moments of great depressions lasting for months and also mixed episodes and rapid cycling. Thje worst times has been when I've been off my meds or when i have switched meds in the past (I've been on Lamictal for going on 10 years now and it's kept me fairly stable). Last year was horrible after I lost my benefits due to some new laws and had to live off my crappy part time job. It spiraled into a deep depression which I'm still struggling to get through.
 
P

Poregon

Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2020
Messages
9
Location
High Wycombe
Hi upndwn , thanks for your reply..I too had my first episode around about the same time as you...but I believe mine was brought on by excessive use of cannabis and recreational drugs....I have been diagnosed so many different things but I and my family know I have bipolar and this depressive phase has been crippling..just over a year ago I had my longest period of normality which lasted 5 yrs...I wasn't on meds but smoked cannabis for the last 3 yes because I foolishly thought I was never going to have an Episode but how wrong I was.....can I ask you that during your deepest depression could you function and go to work etc ????
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
7,380
Location
Norway
Hi upndwn , thanks for your reply..I too had my first episode around about the same time as you...but I believe mine was brought on by excessive use of cannabis and recreational drugs....I have been diagnosed so many different things but I and my family know I have bipolar and this depressive phase has been crippling..just over a year ago I had my longest period of normality which lasted 5 yrs...I wasn't on meds but smoked cannabis for the last 3 yes because I foolishly thought I was never going to have an Episode but how wrong I was.....can I ask you that during your deepest depression could you function and go to work etc ????
I couldn't function at all. I only stayed in my bed, barely bothering to go to the toilet. I didn't answer the phone, pay my bills, shower or clean the house. I ignored all my friends and barely ate anything.
 
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Poregon

Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2020
Messages
9
Location
High Wycombe
How long did that last and how did you manage to get out of it...it's similar to where I've been for the last 2 MTHS...sorry to hear you've been through that
 
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