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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Hi, New here looking for advice.

Z

ZXC

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Hello everybody.

I want to say this is my first time looking for help about my mental health issues that affects me since I can remember. Starting that I have difficulty connecting with other people to the point that I feel something weird in my head when someone tries to speak to me (which doesn't happen often).

I've missed so much about life, never had any meaningful relationship with someone else except my family(?), I can't relate to others, always feel like I don't belong anywhere, always lost in my thoughts, I have to fake interest in what other people say and their emotions but don't want to do that because it's mentally exhausting (I could end up sleeping).

There are many things I want to fix about myself before even consider forming more complex relationships (like getting a girlfriend/boyfriend for the first time) and I looking for advice on how to start, I would appreciate any comments.

Thanks you!
 
Mr Oreo Bunny

Mr Oreo Bunny

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Hey!! It’s nice to have you here.:welcome: Honestly, I would work on finding something you like doing at a place you enjoy. For me, I do CrossFit at an awesome gym. Once you have established what makes you you,you can start meeting people through that interest. You won’t have to fake interest, because you’ll have things in common.Personally, working out at a gym (preferably a set class) is the best place to start, because you are building relationships, finding interests, and becoming stronger and more fit as you go!
 
Z

ZXC

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Hey!! It’s nice to have you here.:welcome: Honestly, I would work on finding something you like doing at a place you enjoy. For me, I do CrossFit at an awesome gym. Once you have established what makes you you,you can start meeting people through that interest. You won’t have to fake interest, because you’ll have things in common.Personally, working out at a gym (preferably a set class) is the best place to start, because you are building relationships, finding interests, and becoming stronger and more fit as you go!
I've been going to a gym for 3 months, gained some muscles but the desire to isolate myself is too strong yet.
 
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Deleted member 91323

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Hello ZXC. Welcome to the forum. I would talk to a doctor about the way you are feeling. I think that would be helpful.
 
Z

ZXC

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This is a great advice and I'll take it, but also I'm looking for not so obvious advice (sorry if sound rude)
 
Mr Oreo Bunny

Mr Oreo Bunny

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I've been going to a gym for 3 months, gained some muscles but the desire to isolate myself is too strong yet.
I agree with bpd2020 on this one. A doctor or a mental health professional will be able to work through the roots of it, and be able to give some suggestions that may work for your specific situation.
 
Mr Oreo Bunny

Mr Oreo Bunny

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This is a great advice and I'll take it, but also I'm looking for not so obvious advice (sorry if sound rude)
If that’s not an option, I would also start by making a list of things that you take interest in. Maybe something you’ve always wanted to try, but never have. Maybe something that you once did, but since quit. It’s similar to the gym, but building skills and interacting with people who share those skills could be beneficial. Anything that catches your eye could be a new start!
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

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Hi ZXC welcome to the forum :welcome:

One thing that's helped me meet new people and be better at socializing is volunteer work. This could be anything that interests you from charity to festivals. Personally I've volunteered to help at festivals and as a roadie for my friends band. I've also done some cooking at various arrangements since I used to be a chef. Another way is to join a community dedicated to an interest you have, even online communities can be great. Going to conventions can be a good way to meet new people with similar interests. I personally am a huge fan of roleplaying games and have been playing them since I was a kid. It's a great way to hang out with friends and be social and there are many communities online you can join if you want to give it a go. If you really struggle you could consider group therapy. Take care and best wishes.

M
 
indigoroad

indigoroad

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I have the same problem! It's not that I HATE people, but I certainly don't care about them very deeply.
To be honest I don't know that I have advice other than being as open with people as you can be. Others like to be offended when they find out you're not interested in them, so my go-to is to be honest about how little interest I have and then give them the opportunity to explain what they like about xthing, or what they think is interesting about them. This might not be exactly the soundest of advice (idk) but it works for me and anyway it makes less work for me in the end.
 
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