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Hi, my name is Daniel. I have had ocd for 24 years now. I have learned a lot over the years on how to cope and function well, here to learn and help

D

Dangolf

Member
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Utah
I have been struggling with a doubt of intention for a couple weeks. I was in a foam pit with my family on a vacation stop. I covered myself in foam and could breath fine. It was kind of fun. Later my 11 year old son and I were throwing foam balls at each other and I end up covering him completely. Hi then didn’t move. After a couple seconds thoughts came into my head that I wanted to suffocate him. 3 seconds went by and I pulled him out. He was fine. I asked if he could breathe and he said yes. I then felt terrible that I might have had the intention to kill him. Then I questioned whether this was ocd. I have gone back and forth on this for the last couple of weeks. I haven’t had a serious ocd fount for some time so any input would be much appreciated!
Thanks
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
44,649
Location
Lancashire
Hiya Dangolf and welcome to the forum. Intrusive thoughts happen all the time to me. They are horrible and can cause terrible problems. I have two granddaughters living with me and the other day I suddenly had the thought that I could drop one down the stairs. It only lasted a few seconds but it sent me reeling!

I don't know if its OCD or not. I don't think your son is in any danger from you at all. I practise Mindfulness which initially took ages to lodge into my brain but now I can use it quickly to identify that its an intrusive thought and get rid of it. I imagine the thought on a piece of paper and scrunch it up and throw it into an imaginary fire. The trick is to let it burn up and not go back to it again and again. But if it does happen then gently draw your mind back to the paper and fire and keep going with getting rid of it. As I said, initially it takes a lot of practise but over time it becomes easier.
 
J

Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
1,784
Location
Florida
Welcome to the forum Dangolf. Hugs Jules
 
D

Dangolf

Member
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Utah
Hiya Dangolf and welcome to the forum. Intrusive thoughts happen all the time to me. They are horrible and can cause terrible problems. I have two granddaughters living with me and the other day I suddenly had the thought that I could drop one down the stairs. It only lasted a few seconds but it sent me reeling!

I don't know if its OCD or not. I don't think your son is in any danger from you at all. I practise Mindfulness which initially took ages to lodge into my brain but now I can use it quickly to identify that its an intrusive thought and get rid of it. I imagine the thought on a piece of paper and scrunch it up and throw it into an imaginary fire. The trick is to let it burn up and not go back to it again and again. But if it does happen then gently draw your mind back to the paper and fire and keep going with getting rid of it. As I said, initially it takes a lot of practise but over time it becomes easier.
 
D

Dangolf

Member
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Utah
Thanks for your advice. The more I have to thought about it in the context of the situation, the more I realize it was an intrusive thought. I like your advice on mindfulness and the paper exercise. Ocd can sure play games with a person.
 
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