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Hi. My mom is delusional & dying of cancer

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Ceegee1

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Apr 2, 2015
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I'm here to vent. My mother is delusional and paranoid. She verbally abused me all my life. She's now dying of cancer and I am taking good care of her. I bring her hot meals and sit with her almost daily. I let her live in my house rent-free (I live with my hubby in his house). But deep down inside I am praying she will die quickly and painlessly. Can anyone relate to this?
 
*autumn*

*autumn*

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:welcome: ceegee1,

I feel it's a tremendously positive thing for you to be taking care of your mother.

Have you tried CoDA? It is a self help group aimed at helping individuals work with healthy relationships.
This might help with the pain you feel.

With love,

autumnalsprinkles
 
FriendsAreFriends

FriendsAreFriends

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My father also verbally abused me in my youth. In fact he is also dying from canser right now. I have been thinking of the hash uppbringing he himself were subject to. I am no longer angry with him cause I know what he has suffered, and that mental problems are passed down the generations. I hope you also find peace with this. You are doing a great job taking care of your mom. I hope you keep up the good work, and that you also take good care of yourself. Kenneth.
 
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Ceegee1

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Apr 2, 2015
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Thank you for your kind words.
Mom has become less angry with me, but is still very delusional. Her mental imbalance will always bother me. Now I just try to make her feel safe, and wait. Cancer is scary. She refuses to see any more docs because she thinks they're after her money.
It helps me tremendously to know other people can relate. I've suffered in silence all my life.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Welcome to the forum.
I think you are very kind to be taking care of her, particularly as she's been verbally abusive for you all of your life.
Whilst i've not personally not had experience of someone close to me having a terminal illness, I do know what it's like to be abused by a family member.
I don't judge you at all for wishing she'll pass painlessly soon.:hug1:
 
blueflames

blueflames

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Hi and welcome

I am very sorry this is happening to you. It must be hard to put your own feelings aside and care for your Mum. I admire your compassion and understand why you feel how you do.

I haven't any good advice for you but just wanted to show my support<3 we are here if you need to talk xxx
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Hi,

It sounds like you are a lovely person and caring for your Mum really well. Theres nothing wrong with wanting things to be quick and pain free. We all want that for our loved ones at the end. Have you contacted any of the cancer charities? They may be able to offer help and support to both of you. In the UK theres Mcmillan, also charities to support terminal illness eg. Marie Curie and Sue Ryder.
 
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Ceegee1

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Apr 2, 2015
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Hello,
I'm here in the US.
Right now mom is refusing to see her oncologist. Mom doesn't even think she's dying.
Soon I must get her evaluated so she can receive home-hospice care.
Mom gets annoyed when I try to discuss medical care for her.
At least she's not in any cancer-pain yet.
I have no other family to discuss this. It's all on me. What a night mare. I'm just afraid.
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Hi Ceegee, just wanted to say I am thinking of you. I hope you can get some help soon. It is hard when all the responsibility falls on you alone. Are you in contact with her doctors to let them know what is going on?

Take care of yourself, as much as you can.

Sarah x
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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It sounds like your Mum is in denial, this isn't uncommon, I can't imagine how hard it is to accept that you are dying. Big hugs to you, wish I could help more.
 

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