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Hi, just joined. Bit stuck in a rut at the mo

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Rooooo997

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Jun 19, 2020
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45
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Uk
Hello,

Every day feels the same and I'm not accomplishing much. I am really lacking motivation to do anything so I literally don't😟 hoping to find a way to break the cycle. The jobs are piling up and I'm sitting doing nothing about it. Usually when i get like this i manage to pull myself out but this time it sets harder.
 
calypso

calypso

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:welcome: to the forum. I hope you find us supportive. Its tough when we get stuck like this. Do you think it could be depression? I can't diagnose you obviously, but I just wondered. I wonder if mentioning it to a doctor might help. Open up more when you feel up to it.
 
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Rooooo997

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Joined
Jun 19, 2020
Messages
45
Location
Uk
I'm not sure, I have felt like this before. It always follows the same pattern.

I get a compulsion to go through my entire house (including kids rooms) and throw stuff away. I want to be organized and know where everything is all of the time which is crazy. This feeling usually comes with irritability and the inability to do anything else. I cry a lot and argue with everyone.

Yesterday I sorted the cupboard under the sink, cleaned it and organized everything yet I did no washing or washing up (stuff that needs doing) I also get a bit possessive, like now I don't want anyone touching the cupboard under the sink for fear of messing it up 🤦‍♂️

I am a perfectionist as well which is starting to control me. I always set myself unreasonable routines (for cleaning, work, diet, hygiene etc) and if something goes wrong (like I don't wash my hair on hair wash day) it totally brings me spiralling down.
 
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sadgirl

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in my own private hell
Hi roooo997 and welcome to the forum please feel free to look around and post whenever you can it sounds about like OCD but we cant diagnose on the forum have you been to see your gp he / she will be able to help you
 
R

Rooooo997

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Jun 19, 2020
Messages
45
Location
Uk
Hi roooo997 and welcome to the forum please feel free to look around and post whenever you can it sounds about like OCD but we cant diagnose on the forum have you been to see your gp he / she will be able to help you
I have been thinking that perhaps it is a form of OCD. Its not all the time, it kind of cycles and I snap out of it and then I'm more able to do things without it having to be so perfect/regimented. I daydream a lot and write lists about how i want to be living my life rather than actually getting on and living it. I like to plan but don't really enjoy doing the activities I plan. I can batch cook 2 months worth of diet food and then throw it all away if I eat a bag of crisps that aren't on my 'eating schedule' it's ridiculous. I know it's ridiculous and I know I should just push through and physically I sometimes can but mentally it really messes me up and I hit this rut again
 
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Rooooo997

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Joined
Jun 19, 2020
Messages
45
Location
Uk
I'm having mild anxiety about the future because I know I will look back on this time of my life when I had everything (my parents are still alive, my kids are at nice ages, I have lovely friends, enjoy my job and have my health) I will regret not making the most of it. i just can't seem to properly appreciate any of that right now because I'm so down at my lack of sticking to unrealistic schedules and goals😥 I need to find a way to get motivation and drive that's not sourced by the idea of accomplishing perfect results but how do you do that?
 
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