• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    We are an actively moderated forum. We work hard to keep the forum safe.

    To access many more features and forums please register now

Hi I'm new

W

woosie

Member
Joined
Jun 24, 2008
Messages
6
Just to introduce myself - I am really struggling with life. Always have done but these days it's more difficult. All my life I have felt like an outsider, even in the family. At school, at work too.

Suffer from social phobia and anxiety but was still a happy person, until I got to about 50 years old ( 54 now) and in a job where I was being bullied. It got really difficult. I was not sleeping well often. When I had to go the "the bullies" office, my voice kept disappearing or cracking with emotion until I felt really embarrassed and foolish. She saw my weakness and took opportunities to deal me some blows as and when she could.

Needless to say I left.

However, I am not mixing with people. I avoid people. I hate the phone ringing. My voice is always cracking and my face contorts with the effort to speak over and through the anxiety.

I am not the same person I was before all that began. I am embarrassed that it all happens in front of my two grown children and husband too. They must think I'm absolutely mental. It's like any confidence that I had, which was little, has gone completely.

Most social phobics still seem to have some friends it seems, and the condition manifests when they are with new people or situations. I have no friends. I am seeing a counsellor who is brilliant but I don't seem to be getting any better.

I don't like medicine so don't see the doctor but am considering it.

Have to see a estate agent, alone, in the morning and quite uncomfortable about that. Wondering if I can hold together and appear relatively "normal".

Oh, how hard is life!

Thankfully, my husband and kids still seem to love me although I don't get to spend much time with them.

Oh well, that's me. I had better read up and try to get to know some of you and your struggles.

Nice to have this site isn't it.

Sorry if I sound depressed. I'd like to have something fun to say.......
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
hello woosie

sorry 2 hear your story about the bully some people r so horriable u didnt deserve all that
 
Libra1

Libra1

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
515
Location
West Midlands
Hi and :welcome: to MHF we are here 24/7 :) I'm sure you will make many new friends soon :hug:
 
Fedup

Fedup

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 18, 2007
Messages
1,937
Hello and :welcome: to MHF :flowers:
 
Isobel

Isobel

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2007
Messages
114
Location
south London
Hello Woosie,
I'm very sorry that you're having such a hard time. It seems as though (maybe) when your children were younger you held yourself together for them possibly without realising it and now they're grown you don't have to any more. It's just a theory but it happens to me in a much shorter form so I thought that it may ring a bell with you.
I'm also wondering if the menopause has anything to do with it. I'm through it now and use HRT, on the days without the oestrogen I feel horrible, low in every way. Could it be worth talking to your GP about it or going to a Well Woman clinic?
Another thing that might help is to get some relaxation CDs, tell your family you're going to use one and make space just for that.
You say that your husband and kids love you so you must have done a very good job with them which you can congratulate yourself on. EVERYBODY is allowed to know and accept the good things about themselves.
:flowers:
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,719
Location
Yorkshire
Hello Woosie and welcome to the forum :welcome:.

Well done on making contact - the first post is the most difficult. I'm sure that you'll soon get to know people here and we're all friendly. Do keep in touch and use us all as a sounding board for everything and anything. :hug:
 
S

sampson1

New member
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
4
Location
el paso, texas
Im new myself

Hi woosie. I would like to say welcome to the forum but I am new myself. I also have an social anxiety issue, I've had it for many years now and the way I cope is that I really am a loner. I really don't talk to anyone, I do have a wife and daughter who don't understand me at all, I think this is because they don't have the disorder I have and don't really know what it is like to go through some of the things we go through in life on an every day occurence. I also avoid people and situations, I am now not working, I used to work for many years until a doctor finally said that I could not and should not be in the working force due to my condition. The way I coped with this condition in the workforce is I would lash out at authority figures, anybody who would tell me what to do I would rebel against them and do the opposite that they wanted me to do, this almost cost me my job. Luckily they were kind enough to grant me a disability retirement, I am a lot happy now. I don't have many friends, but I guess I like it that way, situations make me feel anxious and I rather be at home many times over being in society mingling with the crowd. Well, thats my story and I hope to hear more from all the members of this forum because I also need someone I can relate to and talk to. Bye.:welcome:
 
M

Michael

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2007
Messages
2,364
Location
East Lancs
Hi Woosie
Social phobia, well I'm glad it doesn't extend to the internet!
How do you feel when writing to us on here? it still is a form of social contact - honest I'm not a machine!
The Doctors is a place that is always recommended to go to even if you think you know whats wrong they may have a different 'slant' on it. They may even be able to show you ways to counter-act it (if they do please let us know, most on here have some form of social phobia).
Counselling also helps some, as long as you are honest with them, if you are not you are only fooling yourself.
It seems that the more and more we make ourselves have contact with others the more our confidence increases, but bullies have there own problems and to be honest I have no time for them, I live in hope that one day they will get there come uppence!

Please keep posting and tell us more

Michael
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
11,283
Location
hiding behind the sofa
Hi Woosie
Social phobia, well I'm glad it doesn't extend to the internet!
How do you feel when writing to us on here? it still is a form of social contact - honest I'm not a machine! Michael

He he I dont believe you. I think your a robot:D

Welcome woosie:welcome: A few people on here suffer with some form of social phobia, me included. But this is a place where you can fee safe and make new friends.

Keep posting:tea:
 
Aahbut

Aahbut

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 28, 2008
Messages
277
Location
Midlands
Hiya Woosie, no bullies on here at all, just nice people. :clap:

Social phobia, join the gang, plenty of phobias floating about here. :)
 
Top