• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Hi, im a newbie...

J

Jo2512

Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2008
Messages
9
Location
watford
Hi everyone, im on here becos im a carer and im trying to find someone who has experience with dissociation.Basically my partner has many diagnosis' all of which she handles really quite well but 2 wks out of every 4 its like living with an absolute stranger.She just dissappears in to herself. She looks, talks, dresses, eats and sleeps differently to when shes her 'normal' self.
Sometimes she can work with it but most of the time she doesnt even realise until its too late to pull herself out of it.

I guess im just wondering if anyone has any advice as this is putting a huge strain on our relationship.:unsure:
 
ms_P

ms_P

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
3,067
Location
BeNeLux
Hi and welcome to the forum. :welcome:

May I suggest that you consider those other 2 weeks as a part of her "normal self" as well?
This disorder (Dissociative Identity Disorder, if I read your post correctly) came about as a means of survival from an extreme prolonged trauma. The other alternatives would have been far worse.
I personally understand that this survival mechanism sometimes can do more harm than good in some situations in the present.

I'm hoping she is in therapy or counseling of some kind? There may be the same being offered to partners of people with this disorder. It would only benefit both of you to look into something like this.
Good luck :)
 
J

Jo2512

Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2008
Messages
9
Location
watford
Ok i guess i need to explain myself a bit better. She has been in some kind of therepy for yrs but her problems were masked by anorexia, drug abuse and self harm. we ve been 2gether for 6yrs and in that time ive tried to provide a safe place for her recovery. She recently had a course of EMDR for PTSD and successfully processed the tramatic childhood memories of abuse.. So all we re left with is the dissociation which she is struggling to understand and to be honest so am i. I understand why children dissociate from situations.. neither of us understand why she still does it and how we can work with it.. Thank you for your response.
 
ms_P

ms_P

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
3,067
Location
BeNeLux
Ok i guess i need to explain myself a bit better. She has been in some kind of therepy for yrs but her problems were masked by anorexia, drug abuse and self harm. we ve been 2gether for 6yrs and in that time ive tried to provide a safe place for her recovery. She recently had a course of EMDR for PTSD and successfully processed the tramatic childhood memories of abuse.. So all we re left with is the dissociation which she is struggling to understand and to be honest so am i. I understand why children dissociate from situations.. neither of us understand why she still does it and how we can work with it.. Thank you for your response.
Your welcome. :)

Aside from stocking up on the latest literature, there's not much I can say that you apparently aren't doing already.
I know it's difficult, frustrating and put's love to the test but maybe she's worth sticking it out for.
I've yet to meet anyone who was willing to stick around for me, and it's a lonely, scarey existence.
Just always remember to take some time for yourself too. :flowers:
 
suzamatt

suzamatt

Member
Joined
Jun 21, 2008
Messages
18
Location
North West
Hi

Welcome to the forum. I have found this place to be an oasis for me.

From what you describe, I think I can see a little of what your partner experiences in myself. Wanting to get away from being me - forgetting who we are helps us to forget our past (for a while).

My partner has been with me for nearly 12 years now and has been there for me through some of my worst periods of my own self imposed isolation.

We are having some 'joint counselling' at the moment as I could see our relationship falling apart.

I find it hard to communicate with my partner when I just want to shut down and cut myself off. My partner has learnt from experience to keep a safe distance from me and give me space to get to grips with what I am feeling. Eventually I come round. Sometimes it's several days or a few weeks, but I will talk to him eventually and explain my actions/feelings.

As they say - hang in there!
 
J

Jo2512

Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2008
Messages
9
Location
watford
Your welcome. :)

Aside from stocking up on the latest literature, there's not much I can say that you apparently aren't doing already.
I know it's difficult, frustrating and put's love to the test but maybe she's worth sticking it out for.
I've yet to meet anyone who was willing to stick around for me, and it's a lonely, scarey existence.
Just always remember to take some time for yourself too. :flowers:
Thanks..,
she is worth sticking around for and its a same sex relationship which we both hadnt been in before,its just testing as you say, in the beginning i found it really easy not to take things personally but as time has gone on it gets more and more difficult.
Theres no way id just up and leave after all we ve been thru, i mean its not like i have no issues of my own and i love her very much.
Thank you 4 ur response its nice that someones out there!!(y)
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
psycho_mexican_lady Psychotic episode newbie here. Introduce Yourself 7
B Newbie Introduce Yourself 4
H Newbie looking for support Introduce Yourself 9
S Newbie with Asperger's and Borderline Personality Disorder Introduce Yourself 8
S newbie Introduce Yourself 6
A Newbie. BD2 with EUPD or borderline. Introduce Yourself 6
C HELLO NEWbie Introduce Yourself 4
B Newbie Introduce Yourself 5
I Another newbie saying hi Introduce Yourself 10
T Hi everyone! Newbie here(to this forum, that is) :) Introduce Yourself 3
Hocotatian Just another newbie Introduce Yourself 12
B Newbie Introduce Yourself 6
M Marky65, newbie Introduce Yourself 8
H Hi from a newbie Introduce Yourself 10
P Newbie Introduce Yourself 7
P Hi. Im a newbie Introduce Yourself 9
Scott Chegg Newbie here for support Introduce Yourself 7
R Another newbie. Introduce Yourself 4
7777 Newbie Introduce Yourself 12
P Newbie GenXer here. Introduce Yourself 6
C Hi all I am a newbie. Introduce Yourself 18
SopranoVoice Texas Newbie Introduce Yourself 9
A Newbie! Introduce Yourself 6
B Hi all newbie here Introduce Yourself 13
T Newbie! Introduce Yourself 7
N Newbie Introduce Yourself 5
A Newbie Introduce Yourself 7
F Newbie! Introduce Yourself 4
D Hi im newbie Introduce Yourself 3
J Newbie - ish ! Introduce Yourself 3
E Newbie with OCD Introduce Yourself 3
B newbie here just introducing myself Introduce Yourself 4
F Newbie:) Introduce Yourself 3
C Newbie here Introduce Yourself 9
B Hello newbie here Introduce Yourself 3
E hi, newbie here Introduce Yourself 21
R Newbie Introduce Yourself 7
E Newbie hello all... looking for any advice being in a relationship with BPD Introduce Yourself 7
L Newbie looking for advice Introduce Yourself 2
O Newbie - Binge Eating and Anxiety/Depression Introduce Yourself 1
P Hi, another newbie here Introduce Yourself 31
S Newbie, 25y f. with anxiety and mild depression problems Introduce Yourself 14
W Newbie here Introduce Yourself 5
N Hi all, newbie here. would like to say hello. Introduce Yourself 8
Sassa Newbie Introduce Yourself 4
J Newbie Introduce Yourself 5
J Hi everyone, I'm a newbie Introduce Yourself 7
D Newbie Introduce Yourself 3
A I'm a newbie! Introduce Yourself 7
S Newbie struggling with severe intrusive thoughts. Introduce Yourself 5

Similar threads

Top