Hi - I Am New Today

[Lorraine8]

Hi, I am new here today, very nervous.

I feel my life is out of control, not facing up to day-day situations, ignoring my bills, becoming aggressive, fantasing, lying, depressed, crying, making up stories, obsessive, attention seeking, paranoid - I have said it now, feel like a fool. I don't want to see anyone, don't want to look after my home. I know I need help, but have not got the energy.

I have been waiting to see a counsellor for 4 months, they have given up on me too - not fair, what have I done?

Can see any way out of this mess.

Lorraine

 

[Yellowcoaching]

Hi Lorraine I'm new here today too.
I think the best thing for you to do is to choose one small change you'd like to make and go from there.

Did your counsellor give you any reason for why they have "given up"? Have they stopped seeing you or is it more that you feel they can't/won't help you?

 

[Lorraine8]

Thanks

Thank you for your reply. I had an appointment back in January 2008 which was cancelled - they have not been in touch since, I just feel let down. Me and my boyfriend split up last month, been drinking far too much, feel worse for it obviously. My life is spiralling out of control.

Lorraine

 

[jackskellington]

Hi Lorraine. No need to be nervous about joining the forum, we're a very friendly bunch

It's hard sometimes when you can't find the energy to get help. I think yellowcoaching's idea of choosing one problem to work with at a time is a good one.

Have you chased the counsellors? That might be a good idea. Also, talk to your GP about the way you're feeling... he/she may have some suggestions of a way towards a solution.

 

[Lorraine8]

Thanks

I have tried to do that today, got in touch with an agency for work, just waiting to hear back. Have not done any housework - just trying to focus on one thing.

I feel I am letting myself down and blaming others for my behaviour. Don't feel normal any more, used to be confident, outgoing and a laugh - but not any more.

Lorraine

 

[Yellowcoaching]

Ok so now you've done something productive today (looking for work) think of something nice that you can do for yourself. Take a long bath, paint your nails...anything that will give you a little lift.

If you can find the energy to tidy one small area of your home you could use it as a sanctuary somewhere to escape to and relax? Perhaps you could tackle that tomorrow? But for now give yourself a pat on the back and treat yourself ok?

 

[daffy]

Firstly welcome aboard lorraine and thers no need to be nervous , we are a friendly lot here. We cant solve your problems for you but maybe talking about you worries will ease them. Its nice to know that you can write your thoughts and no one knows who you are. Its very theraputic.

The only bit of advice i can give is please dont ignore your bills. Phne up the companies involved and explain the situation. They are obliged to help. If they are awkward go to the Citizens advice and they can arrange for you to see a debt councellor. But the bills wont just go away.

Are you on any meds cos maybe they are not the right ones for you.

take carexx

 

[Lorraine8]

Hi

Thank you all for your replies - I appreciate your advice.

Taking my children to the park later - get some fresh air and clear my head. Worried about going out too - feel like everyone is watching me.

Lorraine x

 

[Dollit]

Hi Lorraine. Do give the counsellors a ring and remind them that you're still waiting to hear from them. We can never change everything about ourselves but slow and steady does it. Today you've done a big thing by coming here and that's money in the emotional bank.

 

[Lorraine8]

Hi

I will call them this afternoon, have got no energy to do anything - feel so low and down. I really want to lift this cloud above me, my behaviour is irrational and everything I do is extreme. Why have a become like this? I am constantly texting my ex-boyfriend to remind him of the pain he has put me through, he said he cannot cope with me. I got drunk on Friday night and gave him a mouthful of abuse. I am not a nasty person, am very approachable, but I am in danger of doing something drastic and it scares me.

I am ignoring my friends and family and do not have the inclination to contact them - just hiding away from everything - its stupid.



Lorraine

 

[Dollit]

Okay - this is not stupid. Your behaviour is less than rational but you accept that, you're aware of it and that means that you know you can change it. I do believe your behaviour is a reaction to the way you're feeling. Can you talk to your GP - if you find it difficult then do what a lot of people here do and print off the relevant parts of the posts they've made and show them to the GP. Before you text your bf put the phone to one side for a few minutes and you may find that you won't send the text at all.

 

[sandybob]

hi lorraine

 

[Libra1]

Hi Lorraine and to MHF.

Sorry you are not feeling so well, here is a Let us know how you are tommorow ok

 

[Lorraine8]

Hi

Hi to everyone and thank you for being so kind and supportive.

Not feeling too bad today, going out with a friend for lunch - I am so nervous!

Will post later today. How are you all feeling?

Love Lorraine x

 

[intelgal]

Hey the doing one thing at a time is eally good advice. A few weeks ago I let my room get into a complete mess I did not even have the basics like proper beedding on my bed and the more I thought about it the less I would do. One day I started just putting 5 things away properly or cleaning one small area. Withing 4 days it was cleaned and hoovered and generally more oragnaised and it was not just one mammoth task that I had soend 6 weeks ignoring. Sometimes I ll write a list on a sunday of things I need to do that week, like sorting horrible finacial issues out but I try and do one or two things on my list rather than thinking about them all the time. Hope some of this helps