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Hi, I’m new here.

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Emmaleece

New member
Joined
Feb 14, 2020
Messages
4
Location
United States
I struggle a lot with low moods and motivation. I’ve had a history with depression and on occasion am unsure if I’m experiencing depression or somewhat normal mood dips in response to something. A lot of the time I feel like I’m the only one in the world experiencing these feelings so I decided to come here to avoid everything worsening. I hope to help everyone feel less alone in being a part of this.
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
8,731
Location
hiding behind the sofa
Hi @Emmaleece and welcome. I’m sure you’ll find support on the forum . Did something specific happen to cause your depression
 
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Emmaleece

New member
Joined
Feb 14, 2020
Messages
4
Location
United States
Hi @Emmaleece and welcome. I’m sure you’ll find support on the forum . Did something specific happen to cause your depression
Well with my first bout of depression, I think it stemmed from bad friendships and relationships. Occasionally I’d get bullied by them and other people in environments in which I thought was safe space. I’m also the middle child and so I’d be left out of things with my siblings. It wasn’t until my mom found out and put on me a detox and my best friend moved away that things started to turn around for me. That is until my grandparents, whom I was close with, starting passing away unexpectedly- along with my mom. She fell ill and was hospitalized and that’s when I was really going through it. She passed away when I was a freshman in high school. I then met someone in Sophmore year and we dated for over a year, my longest and first proper relationship. It became an emotionally abusive relationship and she broke up with me once I realized it was. It took me a long time to get out of the negative headspace she put me in. Last year, I lost the remaining of my mom’s side of the family with my grandma. We were very close and she was my major support. My father has never really been much of a figure, much less a supportive one. He’s the type of person to tell their daughter they look like a hooker for wearing makeup, which is actually something he’s told me on multiple occasions in various ways as a “joke”. He doesn’t support my ambitions and if I didn’t have trust money from my grandma then I wouldn’t be in the field I’d like to be in.

We just moved very recently to a city I’m not much fond of that requires a good drive to see my friends, of which I have few already, and it’s been making me feel much lonelier than I’d like. Lately, it’s been hard for me to actively care about anything but when I do, I find myself overwhelmed, desperate, and hopeless. Oftentimes I find myself thinking that my presence here doesn’t matter and I should just give up dreaming. My sister knows about these low moods so I try to tell her when I’m stuck in one but it’s becoming an all the time thing. I find it hard to do Anything but cave under pressure and fear of rejection and judgement.

Sorry if that’s not what you meant, I didn’t intend it to be that long.
 
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elliejam

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2020
Messages
18
Location
USA
Oh, Emmaleece. I can understand you on how you feel! I hope you find solace here. (I'm new too.)

Remember, as bad as we may feel sometimes. YOU DO MATTER. Never forget that. When I'm at my lowest, I find comfort in (my son most importantly) but also in my hobbies, to cope with the negative thoughts! :)

hugs,
Ells.
 
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