Hi I’m Maggie and I am hoping to open up more and understand myself better.

M

Maggie Charles

New member
Joined
May 12, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Somerset
#1
Hi I’m Maggie. I’m a 40 year old married women with three children. I currently have no job, an interest only mortgage, no savings, massive amounts of debt (60k) and no pension. This scares the crap out me every single day and I hate myself for being such a big failure. I’ve had a lot of health issues this past year, and I have had three very weird cyber type realationships with men online. I wake up every morning and feel terrible about my life. I sit every evening watching TV wondering what the hell life is all about. I have come to the realisation that I still say the same shitty things to myself that I was saying when I was 18. I feel like nothing has changed and it makes me feel like a failure.
 
Hopeful313

Hopeful313

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 12, 2019
Messages
825
Location
Minnesota, USA
#2
Hi @Maggie Charles and welcome to the forum.

I am very sorry that you are struggling. Is it depression that’s causing you the low feelings?
If you think it’s a mental health disorder, it’s very recommended that you get a professional diagnosis.

You need to inject positivity into your life. Think positive and be optimistic that you can overcome your problems.

Feel comfortable to ask questions. The community here is very supportive.

I hope you feel better soon.
 
L

Lunar Lady

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2019
Messages
2,043
Location
UK
#3
Hi Maggie

Confused by you referring to yourself as 'married' - are you still cohabiting or have you separated?

I'm only asking because if you are still married, then these worries and responsibilities should be shared with your significant other...and there was no mention of 'we' in your post.

Debt is utterly debilitating and needs to be your first priority to tackle. The constant worry over accruing debt will affect your sleep, your peace of mind and ability to feel happy. :hug:

I don't know what is available to you in USA - over here, we have free 'debt counselling' services which help you come to grips with exactly what you owe and how to arrange small, manageable monthly repayments. You may well benefit from seeking either a Debt Relief Order or declaring bankruptcy - either will remove the crippling pressure of owing money and allow you to gain control of your finances. You need to get competent, professional advice on what is your best option.

The most important thing is to instigate positive change in your behaviour - if you continue to reproduce the same old behaviour patterns, your life will keep manifesting the same issues. Use the debt as a vehicle to grow and master one aspect that troubles you.

With regard to guys online - nobody out there is dressed in a shining suit of armour waiting to enter your life on a white stallion and whisk you away from your problems ;) Invest time in yourself and create security for you and the children first and foremost.

I hope you'll find friendship and plenty of support here - and :welcome:

Lots of love, Lunar xxx
 
M

Maggie Charles

New member
Joined
May 12, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Somerset
#4
Hi Maggie

Confused by you referring to yourself as 'married' - are you still cohabiting or have you separated?

I'm only asking because if you are still married, then these worries and responsibilities should be shared with your significant other...and there was no mention of 'we' in your post.

Debt is utterly debilitating and needs to be your first priority to tackle. The constant worry over accruing debt will affect your sleep, your peace of mind and ability to feel happy. :hug:

I don't know what is available to you in USA - over here, we have free 'debt counselling' services which help you come to grips with exactly what you owe and how to arrange small, manageable monthly repayments. You may well benefit from seeking either a Debt Relief Order or declaring bankruptcy - either will remove the crippling pressure of owing money and allow you to gain control of your finances. You need to get competent, professional advice on what is your best option.

The most important thing is to instigate positive change in your behaviour - if you continue to reproduce the same old behaviour patterns, your life will keep manifesting the same issues. Use the debt as a vehicle to grow and master one aspect that troubles you.

With regard to guys online - nobody out there is dressed in a shining suit of armour waiting to enter your life on a white stallion and whisk you away from your problems ;) Invest time in yourself and create security for you and the children first and foremost.

I hope you'll find friendship and plenty of support here - and :welcome:

Lots of love, Lunar xxx
Hi Lunar

Thanks for your advice. It’s actually very helpful. I have spoken with all my debtors and arranged how to pay them back.

I did this with my husband as they are debts we have together. We are still together, have been since I was 18. We get on well and I really don’t know what I was thinking getting involved with people online. I have removed myself from all sites and stopped any contact. It’s a relief. A lot of the pressure has gone.

I like what you said about getting myself in order for my own peace of mind and children.

I have taken up swimming and cycling. Both are hard but it is giving me a focus.

I spent time working on my cv with some friends and I have had some emails back already.

I am prone to feeling really bad about myself...even when I’m doing well. I never seem to take the positive but I am really going to try and focus on all the good.

Thank you again.
 

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