A
allen
New member
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2008
- Messages
- 4
Hey there,
I'm 22 years old, a student. I've been having problems with my mental health for about 8 years now. At first it started like a case of depression, but with time it progressed into obvious OCD. Nowadays, the OCD has become more peculiar - kind of introverted with no ordinary compulsions.
Anyway, it's been better in the last months, though not great.. I hate the fact I don't have stability and just have days, weeks, months where I could be predominantly fulfilled and happy.
My therapist has been really good. We've mostly been going down a certain 'development' path, riding me of the child responses that have remained in me. Also, I'm succesfully answering some of my questions with respect to the larger picture. Namely, that the anxiety and the bad mood seem to be more of a symptom of some larger picture..
Anyway, I'm having a pretty bad weekend. It started out with an anxiety that triggered, over some things in the past - my therapist said it's baggage that's long overdue and unnecessary. But it's still hard for me to abandon it sometimes.
And then when I can't handle it, it just gets depressing - huge amounts of guilt, melancholy, the feeling as if i could just cry (though I'm glad I don't).. it almost feels as if i enter a completely different sphere of existence, a dark path in which I'm so fearful and vulnerable.
I think the structure of my life from day to day certainly affects me, but each time I think about taking measure to respond and make it better, I start to get feelings of guilt (like it's gonna take money or someone will be exploited in the process and I'll feel bad, unnormal afterwards).
Can anyone relate to my experience?
All the best.
I'm 22 years old, a student. I've been having problems with my mental health for about 8 years now. At first it started like a case of depression, but with time it progressed into obvious OCD. Nowadays, the OCD has become more peculiar - kind of introverted with no ordinary compulsions.
Anyway, it's been better in the last months, though not great.. I hate the fact I don't have stability and just have days, weeks, months where I could be predominantly fulfilled and happy.
My therapist has been really good. We've mostly been going down a certain 'development' path, riding me of the child responses that have remained in me. Also, I'm succesfully answering some of my questions with respect to the larger picture. Namely, that the anxiety and the bad mood seem to be more of a symptom of some larger picture..
Anyway, I'm having a pretty bad weekend. It started out with an anxiety that triggered, over some things in the past - my therapist said it's baggage that's long overdue and unnecessary. But it's still hard for me to abandon it sometimes.
And then when I can't handle it, it just gets depressing - huge amounts of guilt, melancholy, the feeling as if i could just cry (though I'm glad I don't).. it almost feels as if i enter a completely different sphere of existence, a dark path in which I'm so fearful and vulnerable.
I think the structure of my life from day to day certainly affects me, but each time I think about taking measure to respond and make it better, I start to get feelings of guilt (like it's gonna take money or someone will be exploited in the process and I'll feel bad, unnormal afterwards).
Can anyone relate to my experience?
All the best.