Hi everyone

[Debbie]

Im Debbie, Im not sure if I have posted this in the right place so I apologise if I have got it wrong. I have always been good at giving advice and reassuring people. And Ive wanted to read through all the forums and offer advice. I havent changed so please feel free to chat to me at any time. As the saying goes, it's always easier to look from the outside in and give advice but not so easy to look out and see the problem.

However, I find myself in a very dark horrible place at the moment. I dont know where to begin. I was always so strong, really strong. Right now I feel so weak and desperately low.

It started at work about two and half years ago when I dared to stand up to something I didnt agree with. Basically, it went from there. The picking started. Oh God!. Ive always been a person who stands up for others and my self. Never been afraid of much to be honest. But they picked away and wore me down. My self esteem is at rock bottom, I dont even have the confidence to go for another job because I would be just crap at the inteview. I feel like a loser at the moment. My family are brilliant and I am so lucky to have such a great family and friends, but my God............I feel worthless.

 

[Libra1]

Hi Debbie and to MHF We are a friendly/supportive community here

I can understand and empathsise with how you feel over your work situation, the same thing happened to me as I ws 'different'. Unable to discuss that now, but may talk about it another time.

By the way, you are not worthless and I am very glad you found MHF and have posted tonight.

Take care

 

[Debbie]

Thanks so much Libra xx. Im glad Ive found you all xx. Was feeling very much alone, not to say my family and friends havent been great because they have. But Im tired of trying to put a face on when Im dying inside.

 

[daffy]

Hi Debbie and (((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))

Welcome to the forum were a friendly bunch round here, some are funny, some are serious, some are boreing..... sorry that was a joke.

Its sounds to me like typical bullying in the workplace. Is there a manager you can talk to or maybe ask for a transfer to another dept.

I went thru a very similar thing with a woman who constantly bellitled me. I found a new dept was being set up and applied. All the time she said you wont get it your too quiet. Well i got it. and two years later the departments again had to merge, which i was dreading. But she came in as a compete novice and had to be retrained, plus i was much higher up the pay scale than her as well

good luck

 

[Debbie]

Hi Daffy, thanks. No there is noone I can talk to there. They have all worked together for many, many years. Without going into too much detail basically it all came to a head about 6 weeks ago. They all closed ranks. Even the HR woman blanked me and it's her job to be neutral. That will give you some idea of the people I am dealing with.

 

[KP1]

Hi Debbie. if the job is making you unwell then you have to consider whether it is the right thing for you. It may be a hard decision to make but a new job could restore your confidence in yourself.
Another option is counselling has your company got this as a scheme? if it has it should be confidential and separate from work and may be worth taking up.
It is very difficult to spend so long in a work situation that is bad but at the end of theday you have to put yourself first and do what you think is best for you.
KP