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natasha244

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So, I've not been on here for like a month I think? So I thought I would just update prior to my last post about the letter.

Well, I never actually gave her my letter, I got too scared! :unsure:
However, she requested that my medication be increased. So now my Mirtazapine is 30 instead of 15mg... not crazy on the side effects tbh
I also got a blood test, but I've not had the results back yet

Anywho
So yeah I never gave the letter to my CPN, however things are getting worse and worse. I feel on a scale of 1-10 like a minus 5?! I did my mock exams in sixth form despite everything and got a U on Law which is basically not even gradeable... I've not had my Psychology mock back yet but the Law result made me feel worse, I've never gotten a U in anything before:panic:

I am sick of these horrible mood swings, my mood varies literally hour to hour and it's not even minor mood changes, I mean intense and I don't know why but I feel like I can't cope with them anymore - I don't know what is wrong with me, but I know it's not normal. I get angry at anyone and everyone for no reason at all,which makes me feel guilty then.. I just turn into a completely different person.

Also, I am seeing my CPN tomorrow morning and I don't know how it's going to go down... I am really feeling so bad, and last time I saw her she asked to see my arms but I said no... I know she's going to ask again but I really don't like showing people, I know she just wants to see where we're at with it all and stuff but I just can't:panic::panic:

Everything is just bad. :low:
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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Hi,

So sorry to hear that nothing's improved and that things are getting worse. Have you noticed any difference since having your meds increased, or have you only started the new dose recently?

I know how difficult it is for you to open up to your CPN but, if you are not telling her exactly what's wrong, she won't be able to help you properly.

If you can, talk openly with her tomorrow; tell her everything. Don't carry on suffering in silence. I know this is easier said than done but you do sound as though you need more help than you're getting at present.

I wish you luck with your appointment tomorrow. Take care.
 
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natasha244

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The only difference I have noticed is that they make me feel tired a bit quicker, that and they've made me gain weight which I would rather not have had but oh well :rolleyes: I think I've been on 30mg for about a month now?

I've opened up, in a way, like I am honest about when I've hurt myself, how many times, whether I've needed to go to hospital etc.. And I told her how much I was struggling because of stress and sixth form and everything else going on around me and she told me to just try and she was going to arrange a review with one of the doctors, but I think I am going to write down more of the "deep" stuff, because I always stop myself from telling her certain things because I always end up crying and in a right mess... plus if my mum found out things would just go wrong and stuff :BLAH:

I am definately going to tell her everything tomorrow, I don't care how long it takes... I'm also going to mention these horrible mood swings that have been going on as well as how I've been coping and stuff.. I've given up trying to speak to people at sixth form too, because I feel like I annoy them but at the same time I get annoyed if I can't speak to the people I want to - I feel very needy, if that's the right word... :\
I just hate the world at the moment, everything seems to be Black or White and I don't like it :(

Thankyou :)! x
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

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I am definately going to tell her everything tomorrow, I don't care how long it takes... I'm also going to mention these horrible mood swings that have been going on as well as how I've been coping and stuff..
I think that's great. Don't worry about getting upset. I've bawled my way through many an appointment before :)

Good luck. Let us know how you get on.
 
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natasha244

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I think that's great. Don't worry about getting upset. I've bawled my way through many an appointment before :)

Good luck. Let us know how you get on.
Ahh, that makes me feel a bit better! It's kind of awkward because she's still getting to know me and my 'ways' (Aspergers makes it very hard to get across to people what I'm trying to explain & say, especially if I'm nervous:nod1:) but I shall let you know how it goes :)
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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It is possible to loose weight on mirt :) im on 45mg. You just have to watch what food you are eating and if you have to give in to cravings pick up some fruit or carrot & celery sticks :) fresh fruit and veg is good for your mh as well. Is there any way you can take a year out from studies to focus on you first? X
 
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natasha244

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It is possible to loose weight on mirt :) im on 45mg. You just have to watch what food you are eating and if you have to give in to cravings pick up some fruit or carrot & celery sticks :) fresh fruit and veg is good for your mh as well. Is there any way you can take a year out from studies to focus on you first? X
Ahh thankyou, this was rather helpful as it seems since being on Mirt I have been casually snacking away constantly on sugary things.. whoops:rolleyes:
And I should be in Uni now, but I am re-doing Year 13 in Sixth Form because I couldn't do some of my exams due to my mental health last year, so I think if I took a year out again teachers would probably get pissed off... and my mum and her partner wouldn't be pleased either.. :sorry:
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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Tell me bout it! I crave carbs so bad! But i just try put good food in. I got a calorie counting app to start with and that made me really aware of what I was eating.
This is YOUR mental health, if you need the time then they will just have to lump it!!
 
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natasha244

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Tell me bout it! I crave carbs so bad! But i just try put good food in. I got a calorie counting app to start with and that made me really aware of what I was eating.
This is YOUR mental health, if you need the time then they will just have to lump it!!
Oh God, I am eating noodles and pasta like there's no tomorrow ;D!
And true.... I think I'm going to see how I get on in the next couple of weeks, I thought with mocks being out the way I would feel better, but it doesn't seem that way :\
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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Maggi 2 minute noodles are only 200 odd calories :)
Have brown pasta as complex carbs are better for you.
Im not an exercise fan so I just walk but I hate cold weather so roll on spring!!
I wouldn't worry what teachers think, just do whats best for you! :)
 
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natasha244

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I think that's great. Don't worry about getting upset. I've bawled my way through many an appointment before :)

Good luck. Let us know how you get on.
Today was okay, I think?
I told her how I felt I wasn't coping and I was truthful about when and how I've hurt myself, I also told her that I was struggling a lot at the moment and I was tired of feeling like this. I mentionned a bit about the mood swings too.. She said she is going to try and talk to one of the medical doctors there because she doesn't think my tablets are working and neither do I :\
I have another appointment on the 18th but she said if I need help before then to just ring soo yeahh I just have to get through the next couple of weeks as best I can
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I dont find that mirt really lifts my mood either but the sleep is so welcome after years of terrible sleep!!
You could always go up to 45, if you come to swap tablets bear in mind it can send you, or it sent me into a complete train wreck! So if you choose to try a diff med time it away from important stuff xx
 
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natasha244

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I dont find that mirt really lifts my mood either but the sleep is so welcome after years of terrible sleep!!
You could always go up to 45, if you come to swap tablets bear in mind it can send you, or it sent me into a complete train wreck! So if you choose to try a diff med time it away from important stuff xx
Ahh, I know what you mean with the changing tablet situation! Before Mirtazapine I was on 30mg Citalopram and then 225mg Venlafaxine and when I went off of one and onto the other the withdrawals were horrible, especially with Venlafaxine- I felt constantly tipsy for at least 3 weeks.. It was awkward walking around feeling half-drunk :rolleyes::LOL:
 
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