Hi everyone

[amelie-louise]

hi everyone, i'm new on here found the site by accident which is a good thing i think anyway...Now im on here i don't know what to say.lol.My partner isn't very patient about my moods and the constant highs and lows he wont let me take any medication think they alter the brain to much (he's an arse).lol.so i literally live if thats what you call it in this silent hell a constant battle with myself where i think about dying more than living and i can't speak about it cause he doesn't listen and i know theres worse things people go through but its difficult it wears me out sometimes to try and keep myself together as when i get in these moods i dont realise i was in one till i snap out of it and its taking longer and longer these days......im sorry to go on and on its just nice to air all these things.....so anyway HELLO to you all....x...

 

[greebobeebo]

Hey and welcome

Why are you letting your partner dictate whether you take your tablets? I think it's a control thing. You have every right to be happy and self reliant. Maybe he realises that once you become HAPPY you will realise what a plumb he is!

Loneliness is crap but it can be defeated. Tell him you need these tablets coz you want to be happy and positive.

Just my personal opinion, having spent 4 years with a control freak. Feel free to ignore me.

 

[amelie-louise]

hi thank you for the welcome just had a bad day it was going fine till he came home he had his kids with him i just got some bad news about my mums health i was a little upset he went to give me a hug and his daughter pushed into him i got panicky and pushed him away cause i was just trying to let the news about my mum sink in i then got shouted at called a t*** all this in front of his kids im finding it hard enough to deal with my own moods let alone his im lucky i never moved in with him.lol.im going to start taking my medication....and hopefully feel better.....thanks for the advice.....

 

[greebobeebo]

Hey

You do realise that him calling you names is a form of domestic violence don't you? Don't ever be afraid to tell him what you think of his attitude when the kids aren't there.

If you stand up to him he will back down. Been there done that.

I also know where your coming from when it comes to parents health. My OH was very supportive when my Dad died, he felt I should be over it within a month.

Do you have a support network elsewhere? Outside the family always helps.

 

[amelie-louise]

i always seem to attract the possessive controlling types i never put up for it for long before i boot em out of the door...
i suppose you never get over the death of a parent....how could he think you would get over something like that in a month...
i tried to speak to people about it but they dont hear me....i find it easier to put on an act so when im out the house i just try and smile cause thats all we can do its just getting abit harder to keep smiling....lol...i just keep telling myself and everyone else "everything will be fine,everythings okay"....

 

[greebobeebo]

All I can say to that is 'Horlicks' these people have no idea. I lost my Dad 4 years ago and I am still affected. Not to the same degree, but its always there. You are dealing with an important person in your life, Whether it's a good,bad or ugly relationship. What you need to do is find someone who has been there and done that and bought the tee shirt in your particular situation and talk to them.

Your OH sound like a complete numpty with emotions. I hope you find what you need

 

[Lady Summer Isles]

Hi and
Good to have you here and that you managed to find the site. Sounds like you need some support.
Hugs
Lady T

 

[amelie-louise]

hello lady summer isles and thank you for the nice welcome...ive never used forums before...it all seemed to scary for me.....

 

[Lady Summer Isles]

hello lady summer isles and thank you for the nice welcome...ive never used forums before...it all seemed to scary for me.....

I thought that too but it's really nice on here and very supportive

 

[seekingpeace]

hiya amelie,
i just joined the forums too, not sure that i am of any help to anyone at the minute but i wanted to say please,please dont let anyone else control you, your partner to be frank sounds horrible and you deserve better than someone whos not going to listen/help you...the reason i am in the state i am now is because i let my ex take total control over me, i cant cope now, and am getting help, i am now married to a wonderful man who thinks the world of me,but i cant get rid of my past and to a huge extent push my husband away even though i know he would never hurt me, i always thought when i was with my ex that i never deserved any better..,i just wish that i could have found the courage to stand up to my ex, have you started taking your meds again yet? if they help you then you should...sorry i didnt want this to be a huge rant...just remember you deserve respect and hapiness xx

 

[amelie-louise]

hi seekingpeace, ive got an appointment at the docs next week so will go back on them then, he isn't horrible he would do anything to help me he just doesn't understand i think that he thinks its just life and we have to deal with our emotions the best we can he is just dead against medication....He really doesn't understand...
It sounds a good thing that you got away from your ex was it a long time ago, iv'e never understood how we can all let people have such a bad impact on our lives, why do we never see it coming.....Why do we never get away before the damage is done....
i hope things get better for you.xxx

 

[seekingpeace]

hiya, good luck with your appointment next week, thats a positive step, and sorry maybe i shouldnt have said horrible, its a harsh word, i just really struggle when i read things about people being controlled by others, because thats how it started with me and i would give anything to turn back the clock,anything, its so hard for parners to understand though i will say that my hubby trys his hardest to understand me but i 'block him out' as he puts it, i cant open up to him properly so i cant really expect him to understand. and no i cant understand why we let people treat us so badly and get into our heads so much, i wish i did, i think alot of it is down to fear, i wish i had the courage to have stood up to my ex...but i didnt and i cant change that...but i can try to deal with it. just try and explain to your partner that your medication helps you to feel better and happier, and then you can start to feel more positive again, good luck hun, and sorry again, take care xx

 

[amelie-louise]

Don't be sorry...it's fine he probably is..lol..im the same i block him out to..ive had controlling exs befor ended up getting strangled till i passed out spat on told what a slag i was he even gave me a stanley blade and told me to kill myself i ended up with two 4 inch scares on my arm i was lucky as i just wrapped it up and went to sleep i then woke up and went for dinner at my mums with him never said a word about it to my mum then went the hospital the stitches were painful the next day won't do that again in a hurry....There are some monsters in the world...But we live and learn...
Have you been with your husband long...If he's as lovely as he sounds then he will understand how difficult it is for you...Thank you for your comments...it feels liked its helped having this forum to come on its been so long since ive spoke about things...i hope it helps you too.xxx

 

[seekingpeace]

i know what you mean, i do feel it helps to talk, especially to someone impartial that isnt going to judge you, me and my husband have been married 5 years now, i was actually put in touch with him by a friend at the time who was trying very hard to help me,we were just friends to begin with but he treated me with such love and respect..that i hadnt known before! and the rest is history....he really has turned my life around...i dont have many happy memories before my husband, and i think everything is really dragging me down now because we have moved and i dont go out anymore, to be honest i cant bear the thought of going out...I dont think i will ever tell my husband the full extent of the past...not sure i could emotionally deal with that,you sound like me in that you hid things from others,and i totally understand why, or at least im trying to rationalise it in my own head as to why we hide things, i couldnt hide everything and i think my family got so utterly fed up of begging me to leave my ex that they gave up on me...sorry im ranting again, so tired i just babble!! but your right we do live and learn, and there are monsters in the world, i just wish there wasnt...take care and good luck

 

[angrydad]

Meds!

I've been in similar relationships and can't emphasise enough how important it can be to be prescribed the right medication, at the right level and then take it as directed. In my past a partner has definitely hindered stability by interfering with my meds.

My current partner is very supportive and makes sure that I don't miss anything.

Hope this helps

Angrydad