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Hi everyone, I'm new

M

Madisonrose

Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2014
Messages
7
Hi everyone!
I'm new to this forum, am currently an inpatient at a mental health hospital, anf have been for 6 months now. I have Psychosis, severe OCD which is linked to my delusions, PTSD, and severe anxiety. My problems started since I was 8 years old. I thought that my food as going down a side tube in my neck and not going down my actual throat. I would keep touching my throat as I swallowed to try and reassure myself it was going don the right way. Then when I was 9, I started getting this awful, shaky, overwhelming, scary feeling, a bit like a panic attack. This happened every night for quite a long time.
Then when I was 10, my family moved country so I had to settle in at a country where I didn't even know the language very well. The school was also very different and pressurising, and I got bullied. I started having OCD type thoughts. and had to do a lot of repeating and counting.
The same year, I started getting paranoid that my mum was poisoning me. I had to keep asking her whether she had poisoned my food.
Then it started to get worse and I was suspecting a lot of people who didn't like me anted to poison me. The reassurance seeking got worse. I was now paranoid about people putting harmful substances in my food, drink, clothes, my stuff, to try and cause me harm.
Then last year july I couldn't eat anything, and lost a lot of weight and as admitted to a mental health hospital, where I stayed until this year March. Then I started having thoughts that someone had put something in my eyes and ears so that hat I was seeing and hearing was what they wanted me to see and hear. I got admitted to a mental hospital again this year July. I'm still there now, but I'm on home leave for christmas. Because of my hospital admissions, I couldn't do my GCSEs and I'm missing so much college at the moment, which is really hard.
Thank you if you've taken the time to read this.
Madi x
 
F

flatz

Guest
Welcome, how long have you been diagnosed with schizophrenia?
 
M

Madisonrose

Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2014
Messages
7
Thank you, I've been diagnosed with Psychosis, since I was admitted to the hospital. I think I've had it for about 6 years now
 
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M

Madisonrose

Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2014
Messages
7
Has anyone else got any advice?
 
A

AwareOfAWar

Guest
Has anyone else got any advice?
In my opinion cooked food is poison (it is dead and toxic to the body) so that could be why you were paranoid about your mother poisoning your food. Being paranoid about it can help to create it and attract it into your reality also (which is why sometimes spirits will try to convince you that it is already happening, so it will). Maybe try focusing on the nice things people do for you, to create more of that and less of the negative.
 
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R

Rose19602

Guest
Hi Madison,
You sound like you've had a rough time of it ! I feel for you to have been suffering for so many years.

I should put the labels aside for now, schizophrenia does not sound like a diagnosis that you should worry about, so put that one away. OCD and anxiety can get out of control and turn into psychosis from what I know....and if that is what has been diagnosed... it makes sense that you are having problems with food and paranoia as a result.

Being bullied, moving school and the other traumatic events you describe sound entirely relevant to the development of OCD which, if I understand it correctly, can be a way to "control" aspects of your life when so many other things are beyond your control.

I'm so sorry that you have been hospitalised because of these issues. Not eating is obviously a serious condition, and something that you will need help to overcome in time. I'm sure it must be very, very difficult for you as the way you perceive eating and food is so worrying and surrounded with concerns.

I'm pleased that you are receiving treatment for it, although I know it will not be an "easy fix".

Keep talking to us here about your treatment, concerns and worries. I've experienced some paranoia (anxiety based I suspect) myself and it's very disturbing....but it's gone now....and if I can beat it, so can you!

Please keep in touch - in hospital and whilst you are at home. You are in good company here, and we will support you as best we can.

lots of love
x
 
A

AwareOfAWar

Guest
In my opinion cooked food is poison (it is dead and toxic to the body) so that could be why you were paranoid about your mother poisoning your food. Being paranoid about it can help to create it and attract it into your reality also (which is why sometimes spirits will try to convince you that it is already happening, so it will). Maybe try focusing on the nice things people do for you, to create more of that and less of the negative.


funny how this comment was edited. I know, you don't want to give up cooked food because it is comforting and all you know. It is a fact though, hate to burst your bubble. There is electrical energy within raw fresh picked food, the same electrical energy that runs through your body. If you aren't getting the electrical current from your food, you're obviously going to end up lacking it eventually. It's pretty obvious isn't it? I've also eaten cooked food my whole life, then switched to raw food, and experienced magic and psychic abilities. As soon as I ate one cooked meal, those abilities vanished. I just joined this site but will probably be leaving since the moderators are apparently working too hard here.
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 12, 2010
Messages
36,676
Location
8,539
I saw both posts...

funny how this comment was edited. I know, you don't want to give up cooked food because it is comforting and all you know. It is a fact though, hate to burst your bubble. There is electrical energy within raw fresh picked food, the same electrical energy that runs through your body. If you aren't getting the electrical current from your food, you're obviously going to end up lacking it eventually. It's pretty obvious isn't it? I've also eaten cooked food my whole life, then switched to raw food, and experienced magic and psychic abilities. As soon as I ate one cooked meal, those abilities vanished. I just joined this site but will probably be leaving since the moderators are apparently working too hard here.
The only thing that changed was this bold:

In my opinion cooked food is poison (it is dead and toxic to the body) so that could be why you were paranoid about your mother poisoning your food. Being paranoid about it can help to create it and attract it into your reality also (which is why sometimes spirits will try to convince you that it is already happening, so it will). Maybe try focusing on the nice things people do for you, to create more of that and less of the negative.
I think this is a fair addition. The previous was an assertion that you didn't back up and could worry people.
 
R

Rose19602

Guest
The mods are actually very fair on this site AwareofaWar.

I've been picked up for asserting my opinion as fact many a time. Adding "IMO" or In my opinion is a good way to get your point across without worrying people who may think that your opinion is the only explanation.

Not worth leaving the site over....it's just something in the rules to protect posters and readers.
x
 
A

AwareOfAWar

Guest
The mods are actually very fair on this site AwareofaWar.

I've been picked up for asserting my opinion as fact many a time. Adding "IMO" or In my opinion is a good way to get your point across without worrying people who may think that your opinion is the only explanation.

Not worth leaving the site over....it's just something in the rules to protect posters and readers.
x
It's not just the fact that they edited my post, but they put me on some sort of watch list and almost everything I post has to be approved first. Some of my posts never even made it to the forum, for reasons I do not know because there was nothing that should not have been approved. Besides, as stated before, that wasn't an opinion, it is a fact. Just not a well known one.

This will be my last post here because I do not feel welcome at all, and do not like the censorship. If I can't post what I want to say then there is no point being here.
 
R

Rose19602

Guest
Hi again,
I'll report this issue to the mods.
One of them will come back to you to explain.
Everyone is welcome here and nobody wants you to leave I'm sure.

Give me a chance to speak to someone, and then wait for an explanation.
It takes a while to get used to what is and isn't allowed sometimes.
It's not personal.

xxx
 
A

AwareOfAWar

Guest
Hi again,
I'll report this issue to the mods.
One of them will come back to you to explain.
Everyone is welcome here and nobody wants you to leave I'm sure.

Give me a chance to speak to someone, and then wait for an explanation.
It takes a while to get used to what is and isn't allowed sometimes.
It's not personal.

xxx
There is too many rules here, if what I said is not allowed then I don't wish to post here.
 
TiredTina

TiredTina

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jul 21, 2010
Messages
49,727
Location
West Sussex, England
Thought I should clarify matters:

You have not been 'put on some sort of watch list'. The reason that some of your posts are waiting to be checked is because, up until a new member has made a certain amount of posts on the forum, anything containing a link has to be checked. We do this for the protection of our members. I realise that you havent included a link in your own post but you have quoted posts by another member which do contain links.

The other thing I would like to point out is that you say that what you write is fact but, without one of us checking it all out (which we dont have the time to do) we cant be sure of your claims. The only edit to one of your posts was 'in my opinion', the rest of the wording was not changed in any way.

The reason that some of your posts havent appeared on the forum yet is because no staff have been available to check them first, as long as there are no issues with them then your posts will show on the forum shortly.

Im sorry that you are not happy with the moderating of this forum. The staff are all unpaid volunteers with issues of our own and work hard to keep it as safe a place for the members as we can. Of course we can go ahead and close your account if you are sure that is what you want, there is a 48 hour waiting period so it will be closed on Tuesday unless we hear from you to the contrary.

TT
 
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