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Hi everyone, I'm new here and need urgent help/advice please

J

Justdani

New member
Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Bradford
I have had a roller coaster year so far. My dog died in February which triggered depression and anxiety which was extremely severe for two weeks and it wasnt until I was put on citalopram that I started to feel my normal emotions again and feel like I can be happy again. I have been getting better gradually and getting into my old activities such as drawing, watching films and shows and playing games. I decided I was finally better again and able to go to stay at my boyfriends where my depression was triggered all over again. I felt really down all night as if there was a nagging sadness pulling me further into it.
I woke up in the morning in a complete state of panic, I was convinced that I'm not a real person and that life isnt real and nobody around me is real. I could hear my boyfriends parents speaking outside but it felt as if they were on a TV show in the background of a room and that it wasnt actually happening that they were there and talking. When I talk to my boyfriend on the phone I feel as if he is just a recording from the past and not really there talking to me... I feel like I'm not really here and I look down at my arms and it feels like they're not mine. These thoughts and feelings bring on a huge wave of panic and fears and I'm genuinely being overwhelmed by them...

Which is why I'm here. I'd love to have some understanding or advice if anyone feels the same way, how they bring themselves back to normal and stop the panic and the feeling of reality being fake? I've tried breathing and grounding techniques and so far only one works but I have to do it multiple times over and over until I'm able to relax and go to sleep. Please help me I'm so overwhelmed with these feelings and I'm struggling to understand..
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,004
Sorry you feel overwhelmed by this right now. I've experienced similar.

Sounds like it could be related to this:
"Depersonalization-derealization disorder occurs when you persistently or repeatedly have the feeling that you're observing yourself from outside your body or you have a sense that things around you aren't real, or both. Feelings of depersonalization and derealization can be very disturbing and may feel like you're living in a dream."
Depersonalization-derealization disorder - Symptoms and causes

... if that seems to resonate?

Sounds like feeling you are fake is a numbing mechanism, probably designed to protect you emotionally. I would suggest that you consult someone about this. A doctor, a psychiatrist?

X
 
J

Justdani

New member
Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Bradford
Wow, just read that link and it describes exactly how I feel! I'm sorry that you have had to go through similar, I know how awful it is.
I am booked in to see a doctor in April which was the soonest I could get, hopefully they will know what to do or who to refer me too...

Do you know any techniques that I could do to try and help the feeling to not be as scary or to make it go away?

Thanks so much for responding, feeling better now having an idea what it could be as it is all a completely new experience for me.

X


Sorry you feel overwhelmed by this right now. I've experienced similar.

Sounds like it could be related to this:
"Depersonalization-derealization disorder occurs when you persistently or repeatedly have the feeling that you're observing yourself from outside your body or you have a sense that things around you aren't real, or both. Feelings of depersonalization and derealization can be very disturbing and may feel like you're living in a dream."
Depersonalization-derealization disorder - Symptoms and causes

... if that seems to resonate?

Sounds like feeling you are fake is a numbing mechanism, probably designed to protect you emotionally. I would suggest that you consult someone about this. A doctor, a psychiatrist?

X
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,004
Wow, just read that link and it describes exactly how I feel! I'm sorry that you have had to go through similar, I know how awful it is.
I am booked in to see a doctor in April which was the soonest I could get, hopefully they will know what to do or who to refer me too...

Do you know any techniques that I could do to try and help the feeling to not be as scary or to make it go away?

Thanks so much for responding, feeling better now having an idea what it could be as it is all a completely new experience for me.

X
I guess that I have always been advised that my worst symptoms would never go away by magically taking a pill. That I had to tackle them face on. through therapy. So I'd recommend the same to you. What I mean when I say this is I feel that through therapy and making positive lifestyle changes and putting yourself in a better frame of mind and finding new coping mechanisms for when you feel low, well that means, you learn to control the feeling low and that has a positive knock on effect for the other symptoms like the not feeling real.
Gradually as time goes by, on the road to recovery your worst symptoms reduce.

Well, I guess I'm a work in progress. Sometimes these symptoms come back, yeah, and I can't stop them. It's hard. But they go away again. Just know that.

I guess if you feel like you don't exist, doing mindful things to bring you back in the moment. Eating to appreciate the taste of things, or drinking tea...
Watching an emotional film, some suggest.
That is, if you are able to bring yourself to do those things.
 
J

Justdani

New member
Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Bradford
I guess that I have always been advised that my worst symptoms would never go away by magically taking a pill. That I had to tackle them face on. through therapy. So I'd recommend the same to you. What I mean when I say this is I feel that through therapy and making positive lifestyle changes and putting yourself in a better frame of mind and finding new coping mechanisms for when you feel low, well that means, you learn to control the feeling low and that has a positive knock on effect for the other symptoms like the not feeling real.
Gradually as time goes by, on the road to recovery your worst symptoms reduce.

Well, I guess I'm a work in progress. Sometimes these symptoms come back, yeah, and I can't stop them. It's hard. But they go away again. Just know that.

I guess if you feel like you don't exist, doing mindful things to bring you back in the moment. Eating to appreciate the taste of things, or drinking tea...
Watching an emotional film, some suggest.
That is, if you are able to bring yourself to do those things.

Thank you, I am going to talk to my doctor about therapy for sure. Today I'm going for a long walk around a reservoir which I dont usually do so hopefully getting out more will help... I will definitely try eating something when I'm having another moment like that as I feel that could be effective even if it just distracts me from the feeling.
Its calming to know that there is somebody out there who understands and has learned how to help it, even if you are a work in progress. I had no idea before what it could be or how to cope with it and you have helped ease my mind so thank you so much!
 
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