Hi Everyone ❤️

[Aaaa1104]

Hi guys, I’m new here. Be kind. I’ve suffered massively with mental health for a number of years now after my kids dad mentally and physically abused me to the point he bit off my nose. I’ve underwent many plastic surgeries over the last 5 years. But at first I was a big wreckless with a “f*ck it” attitude and as time has went on demons have creeped up on me. I am now in a very lonely, dark place even tho I have people around me, my kids & my new partner who hasn’t long moved in after being kept at arms length for a very very long time as you can imagine. But I’m an under psychiatric care, I have a cpn, a link worker, regular gp, doing online cbt and waiting for psychology. It’s been 5 years since I was attacked but my life seems to be getting worse. I feel like I’ve just been giving pill after pill. I feel numb. Like I’m afraid of everything. I can’t concentrate fully on things, like I’m in the twilight zone. I’m on mirtazipine, venlafaxine, quetiapine, nitazipam, propanol, and diazepam. I am also on Oxypro, gabbapentin and shortek for chronic pain.
Am I making myself worse. I am honestly afraid of everything. My life literally revolves around making sure my children and well looked after, and once they are asleep and settled for the night, my demons appear and I’m trapped in a night of nightmares every night. I don’t even know why I’ve wrote all this I don’t even who to speak to openly about things

 

[Louizard]

Welcome to the forum, this is a caring community and I'm sure you'll find support!

It looks like you went through a lot, even if it's been five years you have all the right to be tired from the experiences, remember to be kind to yourself.
Abound the medications, I used to take about six at once, I remember the numbness and low mood, but I also remember from there you can only go up. It won't last forever, nothing does and bad times are not an exception.
Few people are as strong as you are, you're here today, taking care of yourself and your children, I respect it (and hey, strong people need aid just like everybody else!).

Wishing you the best day

 

[MoonShapedPool]

Hey
There is a journals section on the forums,that I find really
helps to write things down.
I hope you find some support here

 

[Aaaa1104]

The is guys. I really just felt like I had to write all that there. I keep a diary in my phone. There’s some plans in there about bad times and some positive aswell. I try and manifest aswell. Unsure why but makes me feel a little better

 

[UpnDwn1978]

Hi Aaaa welcome to the forum

 

[Moonlight_Day]

Welcome Aaaa. I think it helps a lot to be able to come on here and unload things that we normally wouldn't want to talk about with people face to face. There are a lot of good caring people here.