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Hi, can anyone help?

toenaeuk

toenaeuk

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Hi,

My name is Toni. I'm abit nervous to be on this forum but I have no one to talk to. I have a mental health assessment at the end of this month, does anyone know what I can expect? As I feel very nervous.

Thanks
 
Mario82

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Hi Toni, welcome to the site.

It's safe and non-judgemental on here and people will do a lot to help you. Please don't be nervous.

They will probably ask you questions at your mental health assessment, maybe ask if you hear voices or what your mood is like. Mental health can be so awkward to diagnose what with it being an invisible thing.

Btw if that is you in the photo, you should know we aren't allowed to show our faces on the forum, so perhaps change photo :)
 
toenaeuk

toenaeuk

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I have been taking notes to take in the assessment with me to make sure I don't forget anything but it's difficult when I don't even understand the things I'm doing. Not sure how to communicate them to people.

Thanks for letting me know about the pic
 
Mario82

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Maybe if you're writing notes you could take it a step further by starting a diary for the next three weeks and writing exactly how you feel in it? That might solidify things in your mind.

I take it you have never been in the mental health service before then? What sort of symptoms do you have? Is it depression you are suffering with?

No problem on the photo.
 
midnightphoenix

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Hi and welcome to the forum, we're happy to have you here :welcome:

Good idea about writing everything down so you dont forget anything :hug:
 
toenaeuk

toenaeuk

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No never been to one.

I've been living a lie he last few years, lying about my health ect, I've been making lies up to not deal with my other health problems so by making something bigger people did focus on the others which are actually so small compared to the lie I told. The past week since people have found out about my lie I have lost alot of people, kicked out my home (understandably), but I'm stuck in a room at my mum's with no one to talk to. I don't even have one friend, I've never felt so isolated. I am having panic attacks everyday alone.

I will start writing a little diary from today doesn't sound as overwhelming.
 
Mario82

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No never been to one.

I've been living a lie he last few years, lying about my health ect, I've been making lies up to not deal with my other health problems so by making something bigger people did focus on the others which are actually so small compared to the lie I told. The past week since people have found out about my lie I have lost alot of people, kicked out my home (understandably), but I'm stuck in a room at my mum's with no one to talk to. I don't even have one friend, I've never felt so isolated. I am having panic attacks everyday alone.

I will start writing a little diary from today doesn't sound as overwhelming.
Yes, it seems like you are suffering from panic attacks and depression. The current Covid 19 crisis won't be helping your feelings of isolation either, a lot of people are struggling with that.

Sorry to hear about things going wrong due to the lie you told. If you talk to us here we will help. Can you wait the three weeks until your appointment? I think something to take the edge off your panic attacks in the meantime would be good, it's just getting a prescription. A few weeks is a long time to wait.
 
toenaeuk

toenaeuk

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I have been given diazpam but it doesn't touch me. Can't eat, can't sleep. I've gone from overeating the last 3 years and now I can't even stomach a peice of toast.

My Dr has asked that I receive emergency counselling untill the end of the month, it's only by phone because of the virus though.

I am terrified of my own mind.
 
Mario82

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What dose of diazepam are you on? Can they not increase it? It's tricky thing though because they won't want to sedate you too much or risk long-term addiction. Sucks that it doesn't touch you in the slightest.

I know it's easy to say but you have to try to eat. Can you not even try some tomato soup or a glass or orange juice?

Emergency counselling by phone is better than nothing I guess. You could also try phoning the Samaritans. You should be proud of yourself for reaching out here - it takes courage to sign up and admit you need some help.
 
toenaeuk

toenaeuk

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Thanks it means alot that you said that because admitting it was the hardest part.

I am on 4mg doesn't seem like much? But they did say that didn't want me addicted. I've been drinking orange juice. Just feel like my life is over at the moment. No way out of this
 
Mario82

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You're welcome, it truly does take strength. Took me ages to admit I was ill but that was years ago.

4mg isn't much, normally 5mg was enough to calm me down (although I built a tolerance to it, I don't take it now though). Yeah I figured it might be a low dose because of the addiction thing. Can you not ask if they can slightly increase it as it's clerly counter-productive if it's not helping you? How do you feel most days? I know you say you can't sleep but I assume you are very tired and have no energy still?

Orange juice is something at least. Try to have some soup with it for a meal in a while and see if that gives you more energy.

I know that feeling of thinking your life is over, it's a horrible feeling. However, it can get better. You will have people to talk to offline and online (professionals offline, us online) and even if you require medication it's not the end of the world because they really can help. There is a way out of this, you just have to hang on if you can until you can get to the appointment. In the meantime talk to us here and ask about increasing the diazepam/valium.

Remember - you're a person with feelings and thoughts and sensitivities, and you are worth a lot.
 
toenaeuk

toenaeuk

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I am in tears reading the last sentence. Thank you!

I will try speak to my Dr but I'm in a different city so will have to try get medication sent somewhere local if they do higher my dosage. Most days I feel tired, can't move, fatigue is crazy, I am in pain, I feel like I'm having a heart attack the pressure in my chest is unbearable. I can't concentrate, I can't watch TV, struggling to listen to music. I feel like I'm not in control of myself or anything. I know I deserve the punishment of this in a way I'm glad this has happened because my brain couldn't take it anymore. No one trusts me anymore, am I evil or did I just do am evil thing? People are telling me I am just evil and there is nothing wrong with me mentally. My ex friend told me this and she is a mental health nurse.
 
Mario82

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I am in tears reading the last sentence. Thank you!

I will try speak to my Dr but I'm in a different city so will have to try get medication sent somewhere local if they do higher my dosage. Most days I feel tired, can't move, fatigue is crazy, I am in pain, I feel like I'm having a heart attack the pressure in my chest is unbearable. I can't concentrate, I can't watch TV, struggling to listen to music. I feel like I'm not in control of myself or anything. I know I deserve the punishment of this in a way I'm glad this has happened because my brain couldn't take it anymore. No one trusts me anymore, am I evil or did I just do am evil thing? People are telling me I am just evil and there is nothing wrong with me mentally. My ex friend told me this and she is a mental health nurse.
Just stating the truth. You deserve the best :)

All of those symptoms imply panic attacks and not being able to concentrate, I have been there myself. It seems like you are totally overwhelmed bu this. What did you enjoy doing before you felt this way? Is there nothing which brings you joy, do you have a passion?

Your ex friend is extremely irresponsible to say that yo you as a mental health nurse. She is obviously hurt by whatever you done but that's no excuse to talk to you that way. I wouldn't want her treating me or anyone I know. You're far from evil - I don't know what you done but you made a mistake, which is only human.
 
Anime-Alchemy

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Hello Toni, welcome to the forums.
 
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