Hi am new would like to give and receive positives.

[JaxJax]

Hi,

I'm Jacqui 42, and my main problem is anxiety (GAD), but think I may be sufferring from PTSD this year. This year my Dad died, then I was sexually assaulted. My now ex boyfriend didn't take it very well, has turned it round in his head that I just had an affair. Ended up having to call the police on him (which I wouldn't do lightly) That was months ago and I haven't even been able to go into town without panicking and feel controlled by fear. On a positive note I've been doing a lot of work myself (I've only just got an appointment for CBT through the system Months later, isn't that ridiculous) and I've been listening to Carollyn Myss Self exteem CDs and was feeling so much stronger.

Then I went into town this Friday (which is the 1st time since September when the bouncers in the pub I was called the police on my ex a couple of times and he still didn't get charged) It was a great night until the end when my ex turned up and had a go and I lost it. A lot of anger at him came out, and I've spent the weekend in tears. After being able to go into town again through listening to CDs, and self exploration, I feel like I can't go into town again.

I'm determined not to let him knock me back and hope I can use this forum not only for support, but to report on my progress, as I start work again on my self exteem and confidence and can offer some positivity as well.

Thanks

JaxJax

 

[ms_P]

Hi JaxJax and welcome
What an ordeal. Sorry for your loss.
Isn't that the way it goes? You get brave and confident and the one thing you fear goes and happens. Well, fore-warned is fore-armed as they say.
It's great you're taking such positive steps. Sometimes it does feels like 1 step forward, 2 steps back, but that's life isn't it.
Here in the forum, there's a place you can start an online journal. It's a great place to keep your thoughts and progress.
Hope to see you post more, and take care.

 

[Lozzi_1004]

Hi JaxJax and gosh you sound like youve been through a lot and yet you seem too be doing so many things to help yourself well done!!
Hope you find the support you need

 

[JaxJax]

Thanx

Thanx for lovely replies.

I may well have a go at the online journal. I am determined not to let Friday night be too much of a set back, and yes it is typical that in this instance what I was worried about did happen. I am back to listening to the Self esteem cds which requires work and commititment but are very good. I don't know about everyone else but in my case, negative thought patterns have built up over many years and are going to take time to recondition/change. I will keep people updated with progress.

lol
Jacqui xxx

PS: My 'lol' means lots of love