hi all

samuel-oc235

samuel-oc235

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#41
Hiya Sam

I'm butting in here, but are you being seen by a psychiatrist? I wonder if you can ask your doc to refer you to the Crisis Team so you can call them when it gets so bad. You seem very depressed and needing more than just antiDs. You have a lovely child of 2? That sounds lovely and I bet you are so proud of him. You can get better you know, there is hope. But depression just gets people to think in circular reasoning. You can get better honey. xx
isnt the crisis team for teenagers ?
 
shaky

shaky

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#42
No,
I'm forty seven and the crisis team are visiting me every day.
They always want to be sure I've got they're number before they leave. They claim to be available 24 hours a day.

Ciao
Shaky
 
samuel-oc235

samuel-oc235

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#45
that was soooooooooooooooooooo hard opening up to my mum why i cut my self :(:(
 
shaky

shaky

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#46
that was soooooooooooooooooooo hard opening up to my mum why i cut my self :(:(
You're amazing if you can tell your mum.
I only told my mum by writing a story about a guy who self-harmed and then just hoping that she could glean that it was partly autobiographical.

As for what dot eh crisi team do or say.
Everytime they visit they ask me if I'm eating properly, so I tell them what 've eaten.
If I've slept.
They ask if I have harmed myself, whcih I haven't since Monday.
If I've had any thoughts of self-harm
If I'm having instructions from the other guy in my head
And they always ask me if I have any thoughts of hurting other people, which I never have had, but they always have to ask.

They were very quick tonight, which is a shame because I feel pretty dangerous tonight.
When they asked I forgot about the horrible thoughts I've had today.
Now I'm shaking like a leaf and I should be going to bed. Not sure how I'm going to calm down cause I need physical stimulation andI'm cracking up[.
 
samuel-oc235

samuel-oc235

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#47
it was one of the hardest things ive ever done opening up but it didnt help but shes going ot help me get proper help even if its private

i feel liek cutting right about now im not going to lie i js feel so low and needa distraction but cannot find one

shaky whats wrong ?
 
shaky

shaky

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#48
I'm spending my days in the garden, taking it easy.
I went to my pottery class today.
But I think all the quietness means that by the end of the day I'm buzzing with energy.
I feel like I need physical sensations to calm me down, but the more intense the feeling the more satisfying and the most intense feeling are painful ones.
I'm having to work hard not to hit myself atht emoment.
 
shaky

shaky

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#50
Feeling a bit calmer now, just had a funny turn there
I'm off to the fridge to get an ice cube.
Some folks have suggested that.
Worth a try.
 
shaky

shaky

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#51
Feeling so calm now.
Don't know if it was the ice cube, posting on here, or something else
I'm off to bed to try and get to slepp before anythiing else happens

Night night
 
shaky

shaky

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#53
You hold the ice cube in your hand and it makes an intense feeling, not quite pain but near to it.

Then you don't have to hurt yourself properly
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

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#55
ive got doctors tomorrow im going with my mum :)
Good stuff Sam. I'm glad you've spoken to your Mum, but sad that it made you want to SH. Your Mum obviously wants the best for you as you've said.

Tomorrow (today) be honest with the doc, it is important. If you think it might be easier, ask to speak alone with them, rather than with Mum present. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable, yeah? :)

As Shaky says, the ice cube or rubber band trick might also help you in the short term in the future.

Let us know how you get on at the docs sam.

In the mean time, be good to yourself :)
 
keepsafe

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#57
HEy Samuel - well thats a good thing, at least hopefully you will get some real time support
Good luck
KS