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Hi all.



Well-known member
Dec 4, 2017
Hi all.

I'm relatively new to this site, and have been asked to submit a message, with things that are going on for me.
My apologies for the length of the message, once I start typing, it tends to turn into a novel.
I am writing to you, with the hope that you will be able to assist me.

So, here goes :

I spent the last 20+ years working as a sound / lighting / stage manager in various theatres across the U.K, and on various cruise ships all over the world.

I met my wife onboard, in Brazil, and we sailed the world together.

Once our contracts had ended, we both moved to the U.K., and started to settle down, working in the local theatre where I started my career.

Before long, we found out that we were to become parents.

You can imagine how excited we both were.....

Then, on September the 1st, 2011, when baby was 3 months old, I was accused of something that I genuinely didn’t do, and was dismissed from work.

This was a huge shock, and unfortunately, I took the wrong route, and started drinking, heavily.

This took its toll on not only my health, but my marriage as well, and before long, divorce procedures were being drawn up, and also, due to my wife telling all sorts of tales, I was refused any contact with my own son.

My life literally fell apart, at at such a rapid pace, that I couldn’t keep up with it, which put me in hospital a few times with mental / nervous breakdowns, but also finding out that she had been having an affair with an ex work colleague (who I had helped through 2 divorces), literally pushed me over the edge, and led me to contemplate, and attempt sucicide on numerous occasions.

After a few months of ‘sofa surfing’ wearing the only clothes I managed to get back from my house, as she had left all of my belongings in the cellar, so that they went mouldy, and getting myself into huge amounts of financial trouble, I decided that enough was enough, and so sought help in the form of booking into residential rehab, for 9 months in 2013, which was the last time I saw my son.

This was extremely difficult, but I managed to get through it, and have been sober ever since.

After leaving rehab, I moved out of my home town of Southport (UK) and decided to live just on the outskirts of Liverpool. This proved to be a bad move, as not only was I in the middle of the club / pub area, I was constantly in reach of alcohol.

One evening, whilst in a shop, I was witness to an incident that took place, that resulted in me having to attend crown court and testify, which I didn’t really want to do, but being subpoenaed, I had to attend.

As a result, the person in question received 10 years in prison.

I forgot about it all, and thought about how I would be able to get contact with my son, so researched various family courts, and also admitted myself into ‘supported housing’ to prove not only to myself, but to everybody else that I was changing for the better.

I moved into ‘supported housing’ in the July of 2014, but was only in there for 10 days, before one evening, my front door was kicked in and was confronted by two of the friends of the guy I had helped put into prison a few months earlier.

I was beaten, stabbed, bitten, thrown around the living room, and through the window, before landing on the road outside, and managed to crawl into a kebab shop.

The 2 assailants followed me in, turned the CCTV cameras around, and carried on with the assault.

Last thing I remember, was seeing 2 police officers arriving and arresting the guys.

I was taken to hospital and remained there for 2 weeks, as they discovered problems with my kidneys, and also my knee was damaged, of which , I am now possibly on the waiting list for a new knee.

As you can appreciate, it’s been quite a rollercoaster of the last 5 - 6 years, but I do struggle every single day with anxiety, depression, PTSD.

After a long deliberation of weighing up the pro’s and cons, and not getting anywhere, I decided that life in the theatrical / entertainment world, was not for me anymore, so embarked on trying to study for a new career.

One of my passions, is ‘health & safety’, especially having worked on the cruise ships, so am trying to find a course in the sector that I can study at home, or in the local library.

I have found many companies that offer a NEBOSH National General Certificate in Health & Safety, but the motivation (or lack of) is proving hard.

I never go out anymore, certainly not in the dark, and have been diagnosed with severe anxiety, depression and PTSD, which is why I have to try and study mainly at home.

I’d really like to do this course, and show people that I can turn my life around, and get back into employment, but as I am now 40, and don’t really want to be just another statistic on the governments DWP system.

If I’m honest, I’m probably one of the few people in the UK, that actually DO want to get back into work, and not rely on the government, with their handouts.
I'm concerned that I'm too old to be doing the course, which again sends me into a downward spiral of self - criticism,. depression, anxiety, to name but a few.

I honestly don’t know what else to do.

Anyway, if you have got this far, and not fallen asleep, then thank you.

I look forward to hearing from you all soon, please help.....

Many thanks in advance.

Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Jun 13, 2015
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
Dear Tim, your life just suddenly went down the toilet and I can relate because I had a great life too which suddenly took a turn for the worse.

I don't think forty is too old or too late for anything. I'm sixty one and I wish I were only forty so I could get a degree in psychology and be helpful to other people.

My boyfriend was/is an alcoholic, so I'm familiar with your struggles. You've done very well on that front.

It was rather shocking reading about your violent assault. I hope you are okay now.

Thanks for sharing your story and I hope you'll stick around the forum to meet people and interact.

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