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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Hi all! Just joined. I feel isolated

M

Michael 74

Member
Joined
May 2, 2020
Messages
23
Location
Lewisham
Hello everyone, I have just joined this forum, I have not joined a forum before, I am looking forward to reading what everyone has to say. My main problem in my life at the moment is that I have become more and more isolated. I am 46 . I have drifted apart from the friends that I had when I was younger.

My childhood was not very settled or stable. My dad left the family when I was seven and my mum gave my brother and I to my aunt in Ireland when I was ten, and she moved to London. So I ended feeling that there must be something wrong with me that my mum and dad don't want to be with their children. I remember the moment when I thought Fluf them, I can take care of myself and my brother, I don't need anyone else and they will most likely let you down anyway.

At primary school I had a scruffy appearance and so I got bullied alot and I think that contributed to me being more reserved with people in general. So l always had only a small number of friends.

I met a lady when I was 21. I fell in love with her although I knew that this relationship was not healthy, but it was very passionate. We are still together even though we have had large periods of time when we were not together. I am in lockdown with her.

I don't feel the same passion that I used to feel for her. I think that the relationship is unbalanced . She does virtually no housework and if left to her devices the house would be a smelly mess. She also spends lots of money on cigarettes and scratch cards. She gets loans with massive interest rates. As soon as she gets any money it goes very quickly..

It seems that I have alot of reasons to not be with her, alot of the time I am frustrated with her and wish she could change. I have heard that it's more important to change yourself. Trying to change someone else is usually a waste of time. But just focusing on yourself does seem selfish. We also have two boys aged 16 and 21. The oldest is living on his own, and the other is at college hoping to go to university.. I never married her because I didn't have much faith in the quality of our relationship. Today I feel hopeless, I don't have any real meaningful relationships in my life. I have a a good relationship with my 16 year old son and the relationship with my older son is more challenging, he has alot of problems relating to people.. I was seeing my dad regularly and then he moved about 100 miles away and I haven't seen him for over a year and we have had little contact with each other, my mum died about three years, sadly I never really had a close relationship with my mum. I have not seen my brother and sister for over a year and I have very little contact with them. My life is getting smaller and smaller, I need to start expanding but I feel hopeless. Thank you for reading. I really will appreciate your views.
 
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youngtom2000

Active member
Joined
May 1, 2020
Messages
26
Location
Ireland
hey man im really sorry too hear what your going through it sounds so hard but its great that your getting it out and expressing how your feeling, its a great first step and it takes courage so good on you man :) im quite a bit younger myself 19 and i dont have any experiance with raiseing kids or long term relationships but i do know that there is plenty of wounderful people here who could maybe give some advice and support about that:) but i do promise that there is always hope and solutions:) i hope this helped even a little, feel free too message if you need too chat man
 
M

Michael 74

Member
Joined
May 2, 2020
Messages
23
Location
Lewisham
hey man im really sorry too hear what your going through it sounds so hard but its great that your getting it out and expressing how your feeling, its a great first step and it takes courage so good on you man :) im quite a bit younger myself 19 and i dont have any experiance with raiseing kids or long term relationships but i do know that there is plenty of wounderful people here who could maybe give some advice and support about that:) but i do promise that there is always hope and solutions:) i hope this helped even a little, feel free too message if you need too chat man
Thank you
 
J

JacobCl86

New member
Joined
May 4, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Florida
I think you have a midlife crisis. This happens when you lose something at the age of 40-50 years. So I can only advise you to wait and communicate as much as possible. Find people by interests, etc.)
 
M

Michael 74

Member
Joined
May 2, 2020
Messages
23
Location
Lewisham
I think you have a midlife crisis. This happens when you lose something at the age of 40-50 years. So I can only advise you to wait and communicate as much as possible. Find people by interests, etc.)
You could be right, when you become middle aged you realize this life won't last forever.
 
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