Hi all. Joined to talk with people having same experiences

J

jonjon

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May 16, 2019
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Bonny Banks
#1
Hi all.

Brain injury 15 years ago, after 6mths, got 50 or 60% memory back.

Then never seen any doc etc till recent, but just totally blocked what happened out,

Bad accident at work, severe nerve damage. Kicked off old brain injury, they asked me any history, blocked it for so long, I kept saying nothing.

Then, in mental health hospital, after losing it. They found it in past records. But never said.


As work accident, private reports constant. Then, psychologist, seen a comment, by mental health doc's.

He digged more, found out about 15years ago.

But only found out when reading his report.

Bad, and good days, really bad days ama danger to myself.

Bad days, I forget, who people are. Forget who has passed away, and call, them.

Due accident , and mental health issues, advise I'll not be able to work again. Am only 51.

But all pensions paid out due to I'll health.


6th Oct 2016 accident happened, only now I find out nerve damage is linked to brain injury.

2 and a half years of losing it. Wife insane, as I wonder away on really bad days, at night in
Pjs. Police have to find me, and my wife is a policewoman, so it was embarrassing, her going to work, when helicopter was searching hills for me.

No idea I do it.

6 attempts at suicide as pian caused by accident is so bad. Not allowed pain killers, incase I OD.

But now when I pushed hard, used MP. I now getting help from Headway. And pain clinic, 2 years late have arranged long term, pain physiologist.

Headway also said worst thing I did was hide,, accident injury, and also brain injury. But I was a proud man, worked,calmly life, since i was 14.


But now, am getting some where.

The person, that makes me worse, and pushes me daily, to do house repairs, build this, paper that, when in agony. Or constant force me out to do shopping, when o my own I am terrified.

If i do something one day, next day I am I total pain, cant move.

Mental health, when confused, or tested mentally with something, I'll sleep for 24hrs. But get shouted at for being lazy.

It's my wife, she cannot understand how bad I am, how much pain i am in. How confused i get, how much i get worked up over nowt.


Yet she should as she has witness me losing it.

So out the plot, own GP came out, right your going in, took me in her car.

Half way I got so confused, looked at Dr, thought who is she, and jumped out her car at 40mph.


But, when I now think am getting help, person pushing me to breaking point is my lovely wife.

So I hide all I go through.

But last week, I was the laziest person in the world, go get a job...etc.

I was ready just to end it, if I never noticed I was losing it and seek ped help, I would have attempted suicide.


Is anyone else wife, husband causing them issues?


I am scared to say to Dr, or headway, incase I am put back in hospital.

But what, or how do you deal with it?


Many thanks


Sean.
 

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