• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

hey :)

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loz91

Member
Joined
Mar 9, 2010
Messages
12
Location
Co. Durham
Hi everyone (y)

been browsing for a while, so I thought i better come say Hi :loveshower:

seems like a great forum :)

ermm...dont know what to say really :redface: well, I'm 18, I had problems with depression when I was around 14/15, finally managed to get my life sorted out, got a job, things started to get better. recently things have started going downhill again...started really struggling with work, and I could feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into depression again. I didn't really know what to do, as then i had times when i felt great, for weeks at a time, I barely slept, I was so happy, it was like nothing was wrong, my friends loved it and said i was really fun to be around, so how could i have depression if i felt like this? I really couldnt understand it. I started reading alot of stuff on the internet about depresison, then one day i read something about Bipolar, i had heard of it before but didnt really know much about it, and I think it was then that something clicked.
so eventually i plucked up the courage to go and see my gp, which i found really really hard, i missed my first appointment as i was too scared to leave the house, i was lucky to get another one 2 days later, and i had to get my mum to take me to make sure i went. I'm currently seeing her every 2 weeks, which i still find really hard, I just can't relax around people I dont know, so find it really hard to talk. I end up coming out really angry with myself, as i want to be totally honest about how i feel this time, as last time i wasnt, and it really didnt help, but i get so nervous i just cant help it...
I ended up quitting my job at the end of january, after 3 horirble months of forcing myself to carry on, I just couldnt do it anymore. I was becoming increasingly paranoid, and I found it hard to contain my tears infront of people whilst i was there, I just couldnt do it anymore, I felt like it was making me worse.

anyways, I think I'll stop now or I'll ramble on forever...

:grouphug:
 
Lion Heart

Lion Heart

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 24, 2009
Messages
739
Location
kent
:welcome: to the forum loz91,your problems are very common mate so do not feel alone.

may i ask,how do you feel about yourself ? do you like yourself ?.

& about the bipolar, i thought i had it not so long ago too,but now i am very sure i am normal,so unless a doc tells you thats what you have,forget about that for now ok because you proberly do not have it.

:)
 
S

starfish

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 15, 2009
Messages
655
Location
country cottage
hello

i hope you feel better soon. i am sure you will be able to get another job when you feel better. you may like to try a couple of hours of voluntary work.take care:hug:
 
L

loz91

Member
Joined
Mar 9, 2010
Messages
12
Location
Co. Durham
Thanks for the replies :cool:

I have thought about voluntary work, I did a bit before i found my last job, I just feel like every time i try and do something normal, like volunteer somewhere or a get job, it just seems to go wrong and i end up back at the beginning again. I think i find it hard commiting to things, since i can feel so different one week to the next, sometimes I'm really up for it, and other times I just can't do it. I suppose if i try and do something maybe just once a week it might not be so bad.

I feel ok about myself at the moment, Ive had a pretty normal week, which is almost confusing as I begin to question if there is anything wrong at all :confused: going to see my gp seems to make me feel really low for a few days at the moment, I get so nervous before i go, not sure why really, since i know its silly, not sure whether its sitting in a waiting room full of people, or talking to her that makes me more scared :(
I do try to forget about bipolar, I think it was just finding more about it made me realise that I might have a problem, which I think is what reluctantly pushed me into getting help again..:unsure:
 
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