- May 9, 2021
I realized just recently that I have been struggling with maladaptive daydreaming for the last years which makes me lose a lot of my time of the day that I shouldn’t lose. I‘m becoming addicted to my dreams and fantasies and I use every second of my alone time dreaming. I‘m also willing to sacrifice my sleep and a lot of precious hours during the day for it without a doubt. The triggers are always songs, movies, books and the minute the people I’m with leave the room and leave me alone. The dreams can last for a few minutes until I’m not alone anymore or up to many hours without interruption. It’s not that I hate my life, I have good friends and am doing well in school, but I am obsessed with my fantasies and thought of not daydreaming anymore makes me incredibly desperate, like losing the dreams would mean losing a part of me (although I am 100% aware of the fact that my dreams are and will never be real; I also don’t have any problem with distinguishing between the real world and my episodes; there is a rigid border between the two worlds) This maladaptive daydreaming is accompanied by interrupted depressive episodes which are sometimes severe and sometimes mild. However, these are only assumptions as none of the tho conditions are officially diagnosed by a professional. But I can‘t really explain to anyone the causes of the things happening to me and that’s probably why I cannot get help openly and easily.