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Hey lovelies... nervous nelly lol

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Harlequin26

Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2021
Messages
13
Location
N.ireland
Hi guys....just joined up, trying to deal with some issues and stumbled across this forum, seems like a great place to connect with people and chat about any problems without being judged ♡ im here to listen and help anyone if i can but to help myself too and maybe find some connections with you all. xxxx
 
I

insearchof

Active member
Joined
Sep 2, 2021
Messages
26
Location
world
Hello Harlequin,

People are very open here indeed.

Welcome ! :)
 
Bod

Bod

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 19, 2021
Messages
6,349
Location
TOTALLY FANTASTIC
Hello Harlequin, welcome to the forum I hope you can settle here as everyone is so helpful and caring in a non judgemental way so please feel free to have a look around and maybe talk, please try not to feel nervous as we are all here for each other.
 
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Harlequin26

Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2021
Messages
13
Location
N.ireland
Hello Harlequin,

People are very open here indeed.

Welcome ! :)
Thankyou very much ♡ seems like a place where everyone seems to have each others backs. I dont even know where to start looking in the threads there are that many, im just hoping to make some friends, help who i can and maybe get others insights into my own issues too....tough morning not seeing eye to eye with hubby regarding my son....seems like i always get it wrong, so this is a nice place of respite !
 
H

Harlequin26

Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2021
Messages
13
Location
N.ireland
Hello Harlequin, welcome to the forum I hope you can settle here as everyone is so helpful and caring in a non judgemental way so please feel free to have a look around and maybe talk, please try not to feel nervous as we are all here for each other.
That means an awful lot to me already. I cant believe i only posted and you are replying ! I figured it might be a post to nothing like some other sites. Im looking forward to getting to know you all !
 
F

Fancyharm

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
917
Location
West Midlands
You will get lots of support here. You will be glad you joined. Hope you are feeling better after this morning. I have a partner who criticises more or less everything I do.
 
H

Harlequin26

Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2021
Messages
13
Location
N.ireland
You will get lots of support here. You will be glad you joined. Hope you are feeling better after this morning. I have a partner who criticises more or less everything I do.
Hi! Thankyou, and im sorry to hear that :( sometimes i feel the same, like nothing i ever do is good enough, yet when i express my feelings he says the same to me that nothing he does is good enuf for me and he gets annoyed at me then. Sometimes i genuinely think he would be happier if i were to leave, even tho he wud say different. This morning we were both annoyed at our son, but straight away he reverted to how its my fault and very soon became an attack on me and what im doing wrong 🙄
 
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Fancyharm

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
917
Location
West Midlands
Well you said you wanted to be helpful towards people and already you've helped me. My partner is just the same.

I have read so many people going through this kind of male behaviour towards themselves. I know for a fact that I attract this kind of male due to my childhood with my mother, my counsellor told me so. Basically I give off signals and end up with the same type of man. But I slowly settle for this kind of man, where I shouldn't. I have had a shift in this reoccurring attraction I have. So I know it won't happen again to me.

Basically I'm nice and some men find that attractive in a way that they think you will put up with them.

Anyway, not saying the above is the same for yourself, just thought I'd give you an insight into my situation.
 
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Harlequin26

Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2021
Messages
13
Location
N.ireland
Well you said you wanted to be helpful towards people and already you've helped me. My partner is just the same.

I have read so many people going through this kind of male behaviour towards themselves. I know for a fact that I attract this kind of male due to my childhood with my mother, my counsellor told me so. Basically I give off signals and end up with the same type of man. But I slowly settle for this kind of man, where I shouldn't. I have had a shift in this reoccurring attraction I have. So I know it won't happen again to me.

Basically I'm nice and some men find that attractive in a way that they think you will put up with them.

Anyway, not saying the above is the same for yourself, just thought I'd give you an insight into my situation.
Can i ask if u are married or what ur current situation is ? Im glad that with ur counselor u were able to go back to the root of it all. Tho im sure it doesnt make dealing on a dayto day basis any easier ! I know how much my husband loves me, we are best friends and do everything together, but due to his own upbringing he lacks the important communication skills that a relationship needs, and he isselfish in his thinking. Its like he genuinely feels if i do something different to how he would then im going against him. I tolerate too much, i always have, and now although he is the person who helped me see that and gives me the strength i dont have in outside situations, he is also the one i am most tolerable of when i shudnt be. And i know i do it, but i do it because i cant bare the tension between us when he is annoyed by something, so i forget my feeling, bury them deep and focus on what he would want. He complains becuz i do things just to please him, yet if i dont he is unhappy with how i do things !
 
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Fancyharm

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
917
Location
West Midlands
A partner of nearly 20 years. Not married. I wonder if we are all related? Sounds very familiar.
 
SoftRain

SoftRain

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2016
Messages
3,735
Location
sillyville, USA
If you don't do things just like my husband its wrong. LOL Even if you get the same result. Most of the time I just roll my eyes and keep quiet
 
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Fancyharm

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
917
Location
West Midlands
Yes, I've been keeping quiet for nearly 20 years. But I tend to fight back now. Worked with him for 7 years, he took most of my jobs off me, so I started doing g stuff for head office to help the girls out. He hated it, I saved the company thousands! One day he said he wasn't having me earning any more 'f ing brownie points, so I walked out. I was there years before he arrived.
 
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Fancyharm

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
917
Location
West Midlands
Not a very nice man, nasty family. He's very jealous of me. But he will have to get on with it.
 
SoftRain

SoftRain

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2016
Messages
3,735
Location
sillyville, USA
Yes, I've been keeping quiet for nearly 20 years. But I tend to fight back now. Worked with him for 7 years, he took most of my jobs off me, so I started doing g stuff for head office to help the girls out. He hated it, I saved the company thousands! One day he said he wasn't having me earning any more 'f ing brownie points, so I walked out. I was there years before he arrived.
I am just the opposite. I argued with the man for years and he always has to have the last word. So do I, so it would go on and on and on......
Finally I thought this is disrupting my peace am I going to leave? NO. So i just let him say whatever and try not to let it get to me.
 
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