- Sep 26, 2018
I have been having high levels of anxiety and paranoia since I was 14 i'm now 33. It started with a fear that an asteroid was going to hit earth and that people were following me and out to get me. A bit later I started worrying that various horror movie characters were going to kill me and I wouldn't sleep due to this really deep sense of why doesn't anybody believe me? My anxiety moved on to dwelling on and believing I had illnesses such as anything from a brain tumour and breathing /choking on food terrors to being certain I had things like rabies,polio meningitis and smallpox . At times it got so bad if I read an article or saw on TV something about illness I would be certain I had it and nobody would believe me I didn't have a childhood due to isolating myself . It's continued to this day only now I get terrified of going out even to do shopping more often than not my dad drives and accompanies everywhere . I feel so trapped . My mental health entered a very dark period from age 22- to present. At 26 I was put into a medium secure hospital and there they gave me alot of diagnosis such as ; paranoid personality disorder with schizoid traits , borderline personality disorder , histrionic personality disorder , narcissistic personality disorder , anti social personality disorder and a sadistic personality . I know these look bad but did I gain these from all my years of isolation and taking an obsession with serial killers believing I related to them and thinking about me being with them and doing things to people I believe want to hurt me , think bad of me etc? I can't stand this. I joined because I need to be understood to an extent and any advice would be great. Thank you.