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Hey I'm new here 30yr old Male UK; social anxiety, depression and specific phobia.

L

lonelyguy90

Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2021
Messages
15
Location
Yorkshire
Hey all,

I joined here as I'm feeling lonely and need to speak to like-minded people. I have reached a difficult time in my life. I suffer from really bad social anxiety, and paranoia; and I have specific phobia which makes me paranoid and on edge in social situations. Its actually turned into a delusion of some sort; but its believable and I'm convinced its true.

Over the last few years I've struggled. I split with my long term partner of yrs. I got into debt, I then got fired from my job [sickness and not performing] due to MH. I then almost became homeless, came home to stay with Mum. Recently started a new job, which I'm struggling with for the same reasons. My boss is a bully and toxic.

I feel so lonely in my personal life, I did have two close friends, which don't talk to me anymore, and one of them seems to have made another new friend. Those two seem to have other friends who they chat too, and I have nobody else other than them. So I rarely hear from them. I did try to reach out, and I organise BBQs and things at my house, but they actually left my house early for some reason. Then blamed me and said that I was inhospitable and it was clear my MH wasn't great.

In terms of my mental health, I've always been anxious in social settings, and find it more increasingly difficult to connect with people. I feel a sense of depression that I can't life, nothing to look forward too life is 'the same' nothing excites me. I live in constant fear with my phobia. Medicaiton doesnt work, I get angry with my doctor they don't listen.

Then there is I feel rejected by friends, society, and I miss having a girlfriend.

Sorry this is a long post. Hope to meet some understanding people on here...
 
M

morty2

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 25, 2021
Messages
1,108
Location
Maidstone kent
Welcome,,hope you will get support from this site,,its wonderful!. You have been through tough times,loneliness is hard. Dont be hard on yourself,give yourself time.
 
L

lonelyguy90

Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2021
Messages
15
Location
Yorkshire
Welcome,,hope you will get support from this site,,its wonderful!. You have been through tough times,loneliness is hard. Dont be hard on yourself,give yourself time.
Thanks for been so kind. Yes it is very hard indeed. I have been through hard times, and I missed out a lot in this post too... I'm tired you know; I'm dealing with so much, and I can't cope with it all right now. I'm upset with a few problems in my life...but my work and my specific social phobia is causing a lot of problems. I am trying to get my GP to refer me to the community mental health team, because all they have done to now is refer to IAPT and give me pills that don't work.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
6,596
Location
A comet
Hello lonelyguy90, welcome to the forum.
 
M

morty2

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 25, 2021
Messages
1,108
Location
Maidstone kent
Thanks for been so kind. Yes it is very hard indeed. I have been through hard times, and I missed out a lot in this post too... I'm tired you know; I'm dealing with so much, and I can't cope with it all right now. I'm upset with a few problems in my life...but my work and my specific social phobia is causing a lot of problems. I am trying to get my GP to refer me to the community mental health team, because all they have done to now is refer to IAPT and give me pills that don't work.
I get support from Community Mental health team near me. I also attend talking therapy,,its helpful if you give it a chance. You need to find the right sort of help for you. Talking to others has made me feel not so alone in My mental health problems.
 
L

lonelyguy90

Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2021
Messages
15
Location
Yorkshire
I get support from Community Mental health team near me. I also attend talking therapy,,its helpful if you give it a chance. You need to find the right sort of help for you. Talking to others has made me feel not so alone in My mental health problems.
I've had a lot of counselling on the NHS and talking therapies; I am currently paying privately which is okay, but it just doesn't seem to be helping me really on a deeper level.

I'm hoping to be seen by the CMHT and referred for proper support. Not just like CBT sessions for weeks then let go.
 
Jolly

Jolly

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
1,591
Location
United Kingdom
I do hope you find peace. Unfortunately I am not at peace with myself as I have withdrawn and partner makes me feel worthless. I spoke about this on therapy at the weekend. She gave me some really good advice which I’ve took on board. Addressed with partner and he turned it all around to the point I felt guilty and worthless. Sunday was horrendous panic and anxiety attacks which lasted til about 4 in the morning. My eyes are still swollen and I am still making excuses. I have a huge decision to make. It will get better but sometimes it has to get worse before it is better and find out about yourself. I hope that makes sense as I have really posted anything like this before
 
L

lonelyguy90

Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2021
Messages
15
Location
Yorkshire
I do hope you find peace. Unfortunately I am not at peace with myself as I have withdrawn and partner makes me feel worthless. I spoke about this on therapy at the weekend. She gave me some really good advice which I’ve took on board. Addressed with partner and he turned it all around to the point I felt guilty and worthless. Sunday was horrendous panic and anxiety attacks which lasted til about 4 in the morning. My eyes are still swollen and I am still making excuses. I have a huge decision to make. It will get better but sometimes it has to get worse before it is better and find out about yourself. I hope that makes sense as I have really posted anything like this before
Hello Jolly,

I am really sorry to hear about difficulties with your partner. It sounds really tough on you and dangerous. I hope you can find somewhere safe to go. Please do not hesitate to reach out to other, or me if you want. But please please phone the police if you are in immediate danger, it does not sound healthy for you. :/ That must have been difficult to share also, so thank you and please reach out if you need.

Thank you for also posting on the thread; I feel very alone, and rejected right now. I'm suffering from stress at work, and other mental health problems...and don't have many friends.
 
Jolly

Jolly

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
1,591
Location
United Kingdom
I am not in any danger at all. I have lived like this for over 15 years. Put up and shut up and take a pill. That is how it has always been. I very rarely talk about it so this has been hard. He will do anything for anyone but when I ask it is a no. His family have always come first and I have tried with them but they don’t like me. I was more open and honest with my therapist which was good. I need to be my own person and have a voice and I am not sure how to get there yet. I found out I am not depressed but very unhappy with my situation. I do suffer GAD but hid it from family and friends except hubby. I have worked all my life and still can’t get anyone in to sort the bungalow or large garden he wanted. I have always tried to please him instead of myself. I just have to find a way out so I can relax and paint the walls blue with polka dots if I want. It will work out for you if you are open and honest. Thank you for your concern
 
Jolly

Jolly

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
1,591
Location
United Kingdom
I have two friends one down south and one here at the moment looking after my grandchildren but I told her I had a migraine on Sunday and that is why my eyes are swollen. If I told my friend down south she would say what the hell am I still doing here. This is a really hard subject for me as usually I welcome people to the forum only.
 
S

SahsaG

New member
Joined
Aug 9, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Macon ga
Hey all,

I joined here as I'm feeling lonely and need to speak to like-minded people. I have reached a difficult time in my life. I suffer from really bad social anxiety, and paranoia; and I have specific phobia which makes me paranoid and on edge in social situations. Its actually turned into a delusion of some sort; but its believable and I'm convinced its true.

Over the last few years I've struggled. I split with my long term partner of yrs. I got into debt, I then got fired from my job [sickness and not performing] due to MH. I then almost became homeless, came home to stay with Mum. Recently started a new job, which I'm struggling with for the same reasons. My boss is a bully and toxic.

I feel so lonely in my personal life, I did have two close friends, which don't talk to me anymore, and one of them seems to have made another new friend. Those two seem to have other friends who they chat too, and I have nobody else other than them. So I rarely hear from them. I did try to reach out, and I organise BBQs and things at my house, but they actually left my house early for some reason. Then blamed me and said that I was inhospitable and it was clear my MH wasn't great.

In terms of my mental health, I've always been anxious in social settings, and find it more increasingly difficult to connect with people. I feel a sense of depression that I can't life, nothing to look forward too life is 'the same' nothing excites me. I live in constant fear with my phobia. Medicaiton doesnt work, I get angry with my doctor they don't listen.

Then there is I feel rejected by friends, society, and I miss having a girlfriend.

Sorry this is a long post. Hope to meet some understanding people on here...
Well you are wrong. You are not alone. I have felt the social phobia as well. And I know how debilitating it can be. One time I went to a concert but when we got there I had such anxiety and fear it took me 3 hours to get out of the truck. I became angry with my partner and felt like everything was all wrong now. I hyper focus on my looks so that was all a mess. My partner just rubbed his forehead. And shook his head. BOOM! I was judged by him in my mind. That made me more unstable and angry and he couldn’t understand why I behaved that way. I literally change on a dime. The night before I went out with him and we didn’t know anyone at a club. I was so happy and confident I ran the new girl group that literally followed me around the club all night. We all laughed and got along so well and my partner was a part of it. He had assumed the next night would be identical to the previous, but it was awkward and embarrassing to say the least. Why does our minds flip on us? Are we triggered by something that happened as children? Abused? My dad was bi polar. Extreme manias and grandiosity that he cocktailed with God knows what. However he felt, we, his kids were made to react in a way that would please him. And when a bipolar is angry angry. Nothing pleases them. It’s been hard adjusting to life in general as my mood disorder can be quite inappropriate and with our society’s still ever present stigma on mental illness, there is a pre unnecessary judgement towards any of us that don’t fit in.

Mira hard being a human being. I get it.
 
M

morty2

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 25, 2021
Messages
1,108
Location
Maidstone kent
Lonely Guy,,i know what its like to have Social Anxiety,,im the same..I just want to be at home when i go out at times!!!!. You cant force it!!..Maybe i just like my own company and u do too??. Its hard,,..Anxiety is hard,,i feel you.:hug:
 
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