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shawvonleblanc

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Joined
Mar 31, 2021
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3
Location
Wyoming
So I have never use to be like this ever in my life. I mean yeah I use to sometimes be shy and I use to shut down depending on what was happening around me but most of the time I have always been an out going and fun person. I use to love to go to the bar all the time just so I could dance, I loved too listen to my music all the time, I loved to be with my family and friends. Now everything has changed in the last 7 months and I don't know how to handle any of it. I mean I'm trying to adjust as well as I can but I'm angry about all of this. So to tell you a little bit about me I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, a severe anxiety disorder, and avoidant personality disorder and I have always had ADHD about 7 months ago and that is when everything started to change. It really started to change when I started to see and hear things that weren't really there. So now I'm on a hand full of pills everyday just from keeping me from going back to seeing and hearing things that I shouldn't. I do have a really good psychiatrist who does understand everything which is really good. I was also just put on a new one that is making me very very angry even though it is helping me be more part of my family and helping me stay awake. I can't go out into the public like to the store or anything like I use to or I will have a severe anxiety attack I can't stand to be around people right now. I actually don't like to leave my house. And I also have avoidant personality disorder which I think I might have always had but I'm not sure. But with avoidant personality disorder I have low self esteem, I self isolate, I'm afraid of negative criticism and rejection all the time. I don't talk much cause I'm scared that I might say the wrong thing and people will judge me.
 
Ghost_Owl

Ghost_Owl

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That sounds immensely tough. Only advice I can give is be gentle with yourself. You are dealing with a lot. You are adjusting to new medication and world events are pretty tough on us right now. It is kinda ordinary to get angry at the illnesses we face and new medication can boost already existing frustration. Maybe give that side of things time and find somewhere to direct that anger. I angry clean sometimes lol. This anger though it may be normal as illness gets in the the way of what we want. It can feel like we are losing time or being useless or the person we want to be has faded, and then we judge ourselves harshly. Why am I not how I want to be? Try and keep in mind you have a good psychiatrist that there are things to work through. It may be worth enquiring about a therapist that helps with anxiety so you can begin to rediscover that person of before. As well as explore how to be vigilant against the creep of delusion or psychosis. Unfortunately wellness or being okay enough is a journey, sadly sometimes not a quick one.

Welcome to the forum, I hope you can find some comfort here. Lots of people here are on their own wellness, or okay enough journey. Take care.
 
Z

Zoe1

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Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
19,597
Location
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hi Shawvonleblanc :welcome:

I think if you have a good relationship with the psychiatrist
to make the most of that
and tell him all about your side effects

I've been through how you feel
and things can get a lot better than that

I hope you find the forum helpful


:grouphug:🕯
 
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