- Mar 31, 2021
So I have never use to be like this ever in my life. I mean yeah I use to sometimes be shy and I use to shut down depending on what was happening around me but most of the time I have always been an out going and fun person. I use to love to go to the bar all the time just so I could dance, I loved too listen to my music all the time, I loved to be with my family and friends. Now everything has changed in the last 7 months and I don't know how to handle any of it. I mean I'm trying to adjust as well as I can but I'm angry about all of this. So to tell you a little bit about me I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, a severe anxiety disorder, and avoidant personality disorder and I have always had ADHD about 7 months ago and that is when everything started to change. It really started to change when I started to see and hear things that weren't really there. So now I'm on a hand full of pills everyday just from keeping me from going back to seeing and hearing things that I shouldn't. I do have a really good psychiatrist who does understand everything which is really good. I was also just put on a new one that is making me very very angry even though it is helping me be more part of my family and helping me stay awake. I can't go out into the public like to the store or anything like I use to or I will have a severe anxiety attack I can't stand to be around people right now. I actually don't like to leave my house. And I also have avoidant personality disorder which I think I might have always had but I'm not sure. But with avoidant personality disorder I have low self esteem, I self isolate, I'm afraid of negative criticism and rejection all the time. I don't talk much cause I'm scared that I might say the wrong thing and people will judge me.