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Bumbles

Member
Joined
Mar 22, 2021
Messages
5
Location
England
I can't believe it's taken me so long to find this forum! I have googled before but this never caught my eye if it did show up in the results.

I suffer from EUPD and a bunch of the stuff that comes with it.
My EUPD can rear it's ugly head in friendships but it's rare and even rarer that I show a friend how I'm feeling, I'll usually just step away from it because I know if I don't, I'll probably end up losing them.
My EUPD shows itself in my relationship with my fiance daily. The jealousy and insecurity, the histrionics and the self harm.
I'm exhausted and I can't keep trying to do this on my own. I need to talk to other people who understand me and understands that when I tell them how much something hurts me, I'm not exaggerating. It actually feels like I'm dying inside for things that a normal person might just be pissed off about for a few hours or even less.

I love him a lot and we've been together a very long time, but my EUPD is getting worse and worse and I think more and more about how for me, it would probably be best if I leave.
At the same time I know that if I leave, I'll likely end up doing the thing that I fear I'll end up doing if I stay. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. I'm a slave to my mental illness and I can't see how to get out of this alive.

Well that was cheerful and I'm sure I come across as a very well balanced person, even by EUPD standards! ;)

Anyway, I hope to get to know some of you and hopefully, on those good days, try to help you with your problems as well as getting some help for my own.

Thank you
Bumbles
 
calypso

calypso

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:welcome: to the forum Bumbles. I hope you find us supportive. You are not alone in this asyou will see if you look at the Borderline Personality Disorder section which I think covers what you are describing.
 
B

Bumbles

Member
Joined
Mar 22, 2021
Messages
5
Location
England
:welcome: to the forum Bumbles. I hope you find us supportive. You are not alone in this asyou will see if you look at the Borderline Personality Disorder section which I think covers what you are describing.
Thank you.

Yes, I am going to head over there and see if I can speak to some people like me, if they will have me :)
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi Bumbles,
Welcome to the forum, hope you'll be very happy here.
 
B

Bumbles

Member
Joined
Mar 22, 2021
Messages
5
Location
England
Thank you everyone. I've just posted on the borderline forum. I fear people won't be quite as welcoming after reading it, but I still appreciate the welcomes here :)
 
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