- Feb 21, 2021
Hey lovely people, this is my first time ever posting in a forum about my mental health as i have always been to proud, too shy, too much of a burden to ever speak about it. I have reached a point in my life where my CPTSD feelsout of control as does my anxiety and depression. Since lockdown last year, i have lost everything that kept me well and stableish. My best friend of 8years stopped talking to me, i have just finished a relationship where i have the worst emotional abuse to the point it made me self harm in a way i never have before in my life. I feel like my illness has ruined my whole life. Im 48 single with no friends and not a soul to talk too or understand who i am.I moved house last week as well because of neighbours last year threatining me with physical,verbal and sexual abuse and im still trying to study for my degree. I think ive cried everyday since december last year. Im sitting here crying again because i just dont know how to move forward. I beleive i am the most unloved terrible person and that everyone hates me.i dont even know who i am anymore. I cant get dressed, brush my teeth,brush my hair,eat because its just too overwhelming. I just sit here thinking with chest pain and adrenalin dumps. I am so terribly lonely and when i do look at myself, i just see this frail,old,ugly sad woman. I wish i could feel better and i just wish anyone could get how i feel. if anyone has any advice for me i would be so grateful.Sending everyone love and light and thank you for listening.